


Watching the stars with him

by DysfunctionalMachine



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura and Lance are related ish kind of, Bonding, Bottom Lance, But they’re not bc they flirt-ish, Camping, Cuban Lance, Drunk Lance, Everyone is good no evil bitches here, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gay Lance, Homophobia, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith is too, Klance smut, Korean Keith, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance Pining, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Okay maybe that’s a lie it depends, PINING KEITH, Top Keith, asshole lance, but not to the edge of wanting to cry so it’s all good, caring keith, cuz fucking adorable, don't give a shit about his sexuality Keith, fire conversations, introverted Keith, klance, klance dirty, klance eventual smut, klance fluff, no Kinks tho, of course, real life scenario, slight Shallura, slight klance angst, summer camping, these tags don't even make sense to me but idc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-01-05 09:46:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 71,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12187620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DysfunctionalMachine/pseuds/DysfunctionalMachine
Summary: Keith was feeling pretty lost at the moment, he was in college, spending most of his time in his dark dorm room, hanging out with his cat and sometimes calling or gymming with his brother. He was basically just waiting for school to end so that he could get a job, earn money and become another boring part of society.But when another (way to hot for Keith) summer starts, his brother Shiro comes barging into his dorm, taking his cat, and telling Keith to pack his shit for a month of camping. As a completely normal response, Keith tells him hell no and fuck off. But as he takes another look at Shiro all he could see was a lot of concern, and Keith just couldn’t stand seeing his brother like that, not after everything they went through...Also, he wanted his cat back, because right in that moment it looked like Shiro could steal it so that Keith would come with him. After a bit of convincing, Shiro agreed on bringing Ruby as well, cuz Keith knew he wouldn’t survive without his cat.





	1. Six hours

**Author's Note:**

> Well... this is my first story in English and on archive of our own... so this should be interesting :'D.(btw Lance's family is based on his family from dirty laundry, but don't worry, you can still read this if you haven't read that fanfic)
> 
> Okay, I hope you will enjoy this goo of fluff and smut and a lot of klance. <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday

Six hours. He was going to sit in this car for  _six hours._ It was already to late, he could already feel his stomach turn at the thought of the unsafe roads and the knowledge of how much they would grab his attention. First three hours in a plain and then six more in a sweaty car, with his brother. Keith knew exactly how Shiro acted on long trips like these, he knew that the only thing he was going to hear was babbling about the friends Keith was going to meet and especially Allura, and the worst part about Shiros babbling about Allura, was that he didn't even notice that he was obsessed. So when Keith wasn't going to be able to keep focus on Shiros irritating talking anymore, the fear of the roads would take over, and he knew already that he would get unbearably tense. Keith had always been afraid of dangerous things, not like rebel stuff such as stealing candy or being somewhere you shouldn't, but like, seriously dangerous shit. He hated the unsafe roads they where going to take to the camping spot, it scared him  _a lot._ But what could he do now? He couldn't just turn around, take the first plain back to Texas saying fuck off to Shiro. No, that was not going to happen. Keith was going to sit in that car listening to Shiros ramble about how exciting it was going to be while Keith would be all tensed up dying on the inside, no matter how long it was going to take for them to get to that, according to Shiro, amazing camping place, and then when he was there, he was going to maybe, just maybe, talk a little to Shiros friends and hang out with his brother, drink a couple of bears, eat some smores, but most importantly snuggle up with Ruby, a cup of tea, and his sketchbook. Keith was not backing out on this, even if he was fully aware of the burn his fragile skin was going to get, and the awkward conversations he was going to have, he was no quitter. 

Keith could see Shiro smiling as he opened up the trunk, and with little effort starting to throw in there luggage. No matter how nice and caring Shiro was he still didn't really care if anything broke, sometimes it was just okay to do everything halfassed according to him. Keith chuckled a little for himself at the thought, it was true, his brother was special in his harmony, but so where Keith, that was a big reason to why they got along so well. 

"You ready?" Keith could here his brother say from the other side of the red car, still with that exited smile on his face.

keith was so not ready, not in any way at all, but he was Keith, and he was not a quitter. 

Keith gave Shiro a humorous deathstare earning a laugh from his brother as he opened the door to the drivers seat. Keith opened his door as well and rapidly sat down, already regretting everything, but at least he had Ruby with him, and no matter how fucking annoying he could be at times, Shiro, his trustworthy brother who actually took care of him.

\---

"wake up sleepyhead" Keith could hear someone say from beside of him, then he could feel two hands  shaking him slightly. He didn't want to wake up, he wanted to sleep. That was like the first time he'd ever been able to fall asleep in a car, and he sure was happy that he did, he had been free from Shiros obsessive ramble _and_ free from worrying about when they where going to crash and die next. And now he was being woken up! He didn't want no god damn McDonald's no matter how much he needed it, he wanted to sleep! 

Unfortunately, he was awake, and with an irritated groan he opened his eyes expecting to see a fast food restaurant right in front of him. But there where no fast food restaurant, and no other people either, they where literally just in the middle of the forest. 

"We're here you drooler" Shiro said from beside of him as Keith slowly sat up, feeling his head banging from just waking up. At Shiros words he looked down at his red sweater to see a wet spot at his chest. Embarrassed enough about the situation he wiped of the drool and sat up straighter, coughing a bit to try to hide his red cheeks. He hated to be put out as a stupid guy, and yeah, he did drool in his sleep, it didn't get any better by his brother joking about it tho. 

"So... what are we doing in this piece of shit place?" Keith asked looking up at Shiro with raised eyebrows. Shiro just rolled his eyes and smiled, completely ignoring the fact that the question was more of an insult, he knew it obviously, but... he just didn't give a shit. Shiro shook his head turning around to look at the, actually very pretty, scenery. Keith could hear him take a deep, relieved, breathe before turning his head towards Keith again to smile, a beautiful smile.

"This is it, just a little walk and it will be it" Shiro said with an, according to Keith, almost painfully happy tone. Although, he could see why Shiro always spent his summers here with his friends; it was almost quiet, just the birds singing in the high treetops, everything was green and somehow even Keith felt welcome here. It only smelled of nature, pure nature, nothing like the town life Keith was living, this just smelled,  _peaceful._ Except it was fucking hot, Keith could already feel his breath thickening and his sweater sticking to his torso. God, he hoped there where showers here.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Shiro asked with an way to ecstatic voice for Keith, so instead of answering the cheesy question he got out of his car seat and started walking over to the trunk of the car. Really he wanted to stay still, close his eyes and enjoy the sound of quiet, no cars, no people, just the birds and their beautiful song to the nature, but Keith couldn't do that here and now, he wasn't alone and he would feel to uncomfortable sharing such a moment with his brother, even if he loved him dearly. So instead of doing what his heart was acing for, he started throwing out their luggage on the ground, still with a sour face. 

"It's fucking hot, that's what it is" Keith answered rolling up his sleeves while grabbing one of his backpacks trowing it over his arm. Shiro just chuckled slightly at that while walking up next to Keith, starting to grab his luggage as well (some of it being on the ground due to Keith throwing it all around looking for his shit.)  
  After grabbing all of his backpacks and stuff from the trunk, Keith walked back to his seat and reached in to the car to grab Ruby's cage, slowly dragging it out while he could hear her meowing from the sudden chance in balance. "Shh, hey it's just me. it's Keith" Keith whispered to her as he put her down on the ground to let her out of the cage, it might have looked weird to anyone who didn't know this cat or it's owner, to let a cat run free in the middle of the forest where it could take off at any time, but Kieth had always known Ruby and he knew she would not run out of sight. She was also pretty fat by just sitting in Keiths dorm and by his window all day so she was probably pretty terrified of the fact that she was in nature, on dirt instead of on his floor. She meowed calmly and started walking around Keith, snuggling up by his side, Keith couldn't do other then to hug her soft fur.

"Are you sure it's such a great idea to just let her walk around free? I mean she could run away at any time" Shiro said with both concern and something else, and Keith recognized it as the one his brother used when he thought Keith didn't know what the fuck he was doing, great. "She's just as much of a couch potato as me, don't worry about it" He answered reassuring while he brought his hand to Ruby's ear, tickling a bit behind it just enough to make her purr. "Okay, well if she gets loose it's on you, I aint taking care of that cat" Shiro muttered grabbing the cage putting it back into the car, then closing the trunk to lock the car. And soon they where on their way, walking down the path to the cabins.   

\---

"What's that sound?" Keith could hear himself ask as he could hear something he hadn't heard a moment ago, it almost sounded like the movement of water. 

"It's the lake by the cabins, we're almost there" Shiro answered with an eased smile, taking a deep breath trying to get in as much of the moment as possible. Shiro looked tired to Keith, it wasn't weird of course, he had been driving for six hours and then he had had to walk for twenty minutes, but it looked like it was more than just that type of exhaustion, and in that moment that Keith took another look at his brother he realized how much this camping trip meant to him, this was what he would be looking forward to all year long. Keith could feel his anxiety coming over him as he took a shaky breath, his brother was expecting so much from him now, Keith was planning to be anonymous at this camping trip but could he? Keith had the luxury of getting to come with Shiro on something that meant so much to him, and no matter how much he wanted to hide away from Shiros friends and avoid his tragic social life, Keith couldn't just do that, he was not going to disappoint his brother, he meant to much to him. 

Soon Keith could see something in between the trees, light from the sun shining in a beautiful glade. The sandy shore to a beautiful lake, also shining in the sunlight. As they got out of the forest completely Keith couldn't focus on the heat of the sun teasing his skin, or about the fact that his brother was around, he could only stand still, take a deep breath as he had to take in everything he could see. There was a big round lake, some part of it out of Keith's sight because of the woods, and he himself was standing on dry grass that just infront of him went over to soft sand. On both sides of the shore there where cliffs, stones building up on each other really making the place isolated, it was so amazing. Keith couldn't stop the smile spreading on his face as he glared over the place, then suddenly realizing the big cabin next to him as if it wasn't even there because of the beautiful landscapes. It was huge but before he could say anything about the fact that it was  _huge,_ Keith could hear a loud sound.

 

"Shiro, god it's been so long" Keith could hear a British woman's voice say, and then he noticed that the door to the cabin had opened with a tall woman coming out. Allura, Keith didn't have to look twice to know it was her, all the things Shiro had said about her, all the things he adored about her, her beautiful personality, her caring way of thinking of others, her long, grey hair who Keith thought Shiro had excadurating about but now that he could see it with his own eyes, literally shining. Keith stared over to Shiro who was standing next to Keith, his mouth was grinning big and his eyes where smiling, this was a moment of happiness for him, Keith could clearly see it. Shiros face was as lit up as when they got to know their parents were going to adopt Keith. Keith could feel his cheeks heating up at the thought, he remembered that day, at that point he was truly happy, at that day he remembered hope, he had gotten a new chance at life. 

"And this must be the famous Keith, I've heard so much about you, it feels amazing to finally meet you" He could hear Allura say to him as she stood in front of him, with a smile so bright it hurts Keith's eyes. Now he knew why Shiro always spoke so good of Allura, why he called her beautiful even when Keith hadn't seen her, he had always thought it was cheesy and just Shiro being helplessly in love but damn, this girl was  _hot,_ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~like literally smokin. No wonder Shiro was so obsessed with her.

"Hi, so yeah, hi" Keith said as if he was paralyzed, completely speechless. He was so bad at talking to people, starting conversations, taking compliments and everything that had to do with being social. He had friends of course but he wasn't that close to them and he definitely was not trying to get more friends, but right now, he felt like Allura was a good choice for an actual friend. 

"Well I am so excited for this summer, we are going to have so much fun! But first of all we need to get you two in your rooms" She said with the same smile as she hugged Shiro one more time to maybe take in his presence or really make sure he was there, Keith didn't really know. Before the normal conversation of what they all had done before they came here, Keith took his chance to ask about where he was going to stay, and if that extremely huge house where their house. 

"Um, Allura? Is that the cabin your staying in?" Keith asked with a muffled voice not wanting to draw to much attention in Shiro and Alluras bonding moment. "Oh, yes this was my dad's house, the one he bought here, but when he went away he gave it to me" She answered gesturing to the big cabin, it was made out of light wood with a big porch in the front and it was two floors high. It was a very pretty house and god was it put in a beautiful place, this place was literally the definition of stunning. 

"But because of the fact that we won't all fit in there, Keith, you will stay in that cabin" Shiro said pointing to the other side of the lake, where Keith could spot, a bit smaller, cabin a bit hidden in the forest. That side also had a sandy shore but it was not as big as the one on the side he was on, there where more cliffs over there and darker because of the trees hiding the cabin. Keith was really happy he was not going to have to share a cabin with the others, tho he did know that it would be more then just him, Allura and Shiro on this camping trip, where the others here? Where were they going to stay? 

"Shiro, I've missed you!" Keith could hear another, high pitched, voice scream as he turned his head away from the cabin on the other side of the lake to see where the sound came from. Down the stairs of the cabin came a short girl with a green hoodie on, her hair was short in a light-brown color and on her small nose where a couple of big round glasses. Keith couldn't really take in what was going on before the girl was buried in Shiros arms, her exited screaming muffled by his t-shirt. Keith looked at them for a while before he realized who she was, that was Pidge. A small girl with a very high amount of sass, but she was apparently really nice so Keith was just going with it.

"So, you must be Keith, you're a lot shorter than I imagined. Guess it's just Shiros horrible way of describing, I mean he said you where cool and stuff as well" she said to Keith with a grin on her face. Yup, this was definitely Pidge. "Nice to meet you to" Keith answered through clenched teath, trying to ignore the irritation building in his body at her words. "Chill bro, it's cool to finally meet you, Shiro speaks very highly of you" she then said with a friendly smile and reached out her hand to Keith. Keith took it at the second he saw it, shaking it while saying he's heard a lot about her as well, which he kind of had but mostly it got brushed away by a bunch of talk about Allura. Tho this girl seemed pretty cool, yes it was true she was sassy as fuck but so where Keith, yes, he had his moments. 

As the others started a conversation about what they had done during their time apart, Keith started looking around the place, trying to find out what to actually do this month he was going to stay here. He could see a fire pit a bit in to the forest, and then something looking like dream catchers hanging in some trees. This place really was something special, but, he was really looking forward to packing up his things getting to lay down in his bed finally getting some sleep so tired that he was. Keith noticed Ruby wanted to go as well the way she was meowing impatiently by his legs, but he was not going anywhere, it would be suspicious and weird, he was just going to stay here trying to look like he was a part of the conversation when he really wasn't. Then he could hear someone else's voice, it was a man. 

"Shiro, oh it's so good to see you" Keith could hear the third person coming out of the cabin say, a high pitched voice. Wow, more people, was Keith going to survive this? Probably not. The guy coming out of the cabin was about the same hight as Allura, his hair was a fiery color of orange, and he had a styled mustache under his nose in the same color. He was wearing overly protective clothes, like he was going to die on this basic camping trip unless he whore them, it looked kind of funny to Keith. 

As the man came closer to them with a bright smile his eyes fell on Keith. Keith didn't move, didn't say anything, just stood there desperately trying to keep eye contact with the man standing before him. Then, before Keith could do anything the orange haired man was about a meter away from him with his hand reached out. Keith grabbed it trying to paste a smile on his face. 

"You must be Keith, my name is Coran" the man said with another big smile while he wildly shook Keith's hand, who clearly wasn't ready for it as he jumped a bit from the strong hand holding his. So this was Coran, one of Alluras childhood friends who now was his brothers friend as well. He was apparently 28 years old and an energetic guy (and right now giving Keith kind of a gay vibe.)

And that with energetic Keith could clearly see, and it made him utterly uncomfortable, Keith was defiantly going to have a hard time holding up with this guy, but he still seemed like a really nice guy, and Keith could obviously see why Shiro liked him. 

Keith shook Coran's hand for some more time saying it was nice to meet him as well. And then he could see the four people in front of him start a conversation, a happy conversation, one that Keith was not a part of, he didn't belong here, he shouldn't be here. Why did he even agree to this? Oh yeah, his god damn brother and his stupid ways of being nice. But Keith didn't deserve this, he was a black sheep, this was not his place. The worst part was that he had nothing inside him telling him he should join in, he didn't even feel bad for just standing there, he was tired, he couldn't even deal with this many people around him normally, and now he was exhausted as well. He wanted to walk away, leave them alone so that they could be happy together, this was not his place to interrupt and say what he had done this year, he wasn't apart of this group of friends and no matter how much he wanted to talk to them for Shiros sake he knew this wasn't going to work, he just needed to sleep. 

Keith found himself shifting weight between his feet, staring around him trying to draw as little attention as possible, but he wasn't supposed be here. "Hey guys, I think I'm gonna go get some rest if that's okay" Keith said through all the voices and put on a smile. Shiro looked up at him with a sad smile while Allura looked at him with an understanding facial expression. "Of course Keith, just take that path and you will get to the other side of the lake" she said pointing her slender finger to a path behind him. Keith nodded with a thin smile as he turned around to start walking. And he did, step after step, realizing that this was actually happening, he was here, he was going to be here for a month, with his brother, and an energetic hipster, and Shiros crush, and an extremely sassy little shit, and a... 

"Hey party people, what is happenin!" Keith jumped a bit at the loud voice coming from behind him, who the fuck was that? 

Keith, who was just at the start of the path, turned around to see two people coming up to the group he was just standing with. One of them relly big with his arms around Shiro in a hug and then the other one, the one who had spoken so loud that Keith had jumped, he was... god, this was not going to work, he really needed to sleep, shit... 

He was going to spend a month here, whit that guy.


	2. Troubled and doubting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a bit of an establishment. Nothing to much happening yet, just a bit of getting to know each other.

Shit, how could he have let himself sleep for so long, it was late, seven pm, what were the others doing? What was  _that guy_  doing? 

 ~~~~Keith sat up straight in his bed at the thought, he was not supposed to think like that, he hadn't even said hello to the guy. He slowly took the blanket off of him and sat his two feet down on the wooden floor, hesitantly looking up at the room he was in, not knowing if all of it was just a weird dream. He had gone up on the front porch to then open the door, trying to imagine what he was going to live in for the next month. And then he had opened it with a creaky sound to find two beds on each side of the room. Scared of the thought of who he was going to sleep with in there made Keith walk around the corner of a wall to find another bed, more separate. With a relived sigh he had sat down to slowly sink down in to the mattres, Ruby purring on the side of him. He hadn't packed up his things, he hadn't put on a timer for when he was going to be up, he had just closed his eyes to fall down in to dreamy land.

And now he was here, alone in a dark room, at seven pm, not knowing what to do or where to go, he literally had no fucking clue. But he knew he couldn't lay here for a whole month to route, so it was just to bite right in to the apple and try to figure out how to make it through this hell of a summer.

Keith stood up from the bed, with a bit of struggle from the change in balance, he knew he had a terrible bed head without even seeing it, it was so present he could feel it. He could also feel his clothes sticking to his sweaty body, god this was uncomfortable, he hated it. Keith started opening up one of his bags, a red and black one where he knew he had put most of his clothes. After a bit of digging he found a basic black t-shirt (witch he had brought like a thousand of) that looked good to wear.

With a lot of effort Keith finally managed to get his red sweater off his sweaty body, after it almost strangling him. Then he took the t-shirt over his head to,  a lot easier, drag it on over his torso. 

Keith walked up to the mirror hanging on one of the walls in the room, it wasn't that big but big enough to show his face and upper body. He was pretty thin, he had always been, the t-shirt slimmed pretty perfectly down his chest and stomach. He was exercising yes, no matter how weird it would sound to others who only saw him in his dark dorm in front of his computer, but he did, he ran in a forest a bit away from his college. He loved to run, but only with music, peaceful music, most people thought people like him: angry, isolated people, would listen to some emo rock or something, but not Keith, he just saw that as cheesy, and Keith was. Not. Cheesy. Yes he did and still had a lot of anxiety and yes during his younger years he had been depressed for to long, but he didn't like that typical "I'm depressed and emo" music, and it made him even more angry when people assumed that was how he was, before even talking to him. 

Keith went back to his bed after looking at his reflection a bit to long for his brain to handle, he grabbed his phone from the bedside table and then started walking towards the door, grabbing his red jacket on his way out. Opening the door with a creaky sound Keith had to stand still for a moment, this was one of the only things that he had actually been looking forward to, being able to stand there in the quiet nature with only the crickets to listen to. Everything about this moment was easing, and calming, it calmed Keith. He was a person who easily got overwhelmed by people around him and because of that he of course got irritated, angry, mad at the fact that he couldn't have control, he didn't know what they were thinking or what they were going to do, it scared him. So standing there on that porch just in that moment, even if it was dark and a bit chilly, was good for Keith. 

"Come on Ruby, let's go" Keith whispered through the darkness, and when he slowly started walking he could hear Ruby's rustling steps behind him. It was dark yes, but Keith could see where he was going. The path laid out in front of him, with roots and stones visible for him, but he still tripped on them time to time cuz sometimes Keith thought it was a good idea to pretend he was a parkour professional. Cuz when he was alone he could do a lot of weird shit. Keith kept running over stones and sticks, laughing as he would trip or when his cat would come bumping after him. Then, in what seemed like seconds, he would see the light coming out of the big cabins windows. Time to prepare for the worst. 

Everyone got quiet as Keith opened the (unfortunately creaky) door to a started dinner. Everyone's eyes was laid on him, Shiro was smiling, Allura and Coran too, the big guy with the yellow headband and Pidge soon started talking again and their eyes disappeared from him, but the others kept staring at him, except for that tall, tan guy with messy hair, that guy hadn't even noticed him. 

"Hi Keith, I figured that you wouldn't come here from your lack of sleep but if you want food, it's just to suit yourself" Shiro said to him as he kept smiling. Keith could see how Ruby started walking away towards a chair in front of the fireplace, then jumping up on it to snuggle up and don't give a shit about the fact that Keith was completely exposed to being attacked by social people's questions and curiosity. Keith just stood there, stale, his eyebrows frowned with a straight line as a mouth, yup, he was so awkward for some reason. 

"Thanks, um... sorry I didn't come earlier, I just, I was just tired you know" Keith said scratching the back of his head trying to avoid eye contact with his audience, especially now that the taller guy had looked up at him, raised eyebrows and a mouth full of food, cute. 

"No that's cool, just come sit down whit us" Shiro then said gesturing to the empty shair, Keith answered with a small nod as he started walking towards the free chair. There was a plate there even if they hadn't actually thought he would come, nice, way to nice for someone like Keith, he shouldn't have wasted time sleeping when they were waiting for him. 

The others started talking again as Keith started taking food, he was not that hungry so he didn't take that much, but he wanted to at least eat a little, because, they had made food and it would be rude of Keith not eat.

Of course Keith had thought about it when he sat down in his chair, that the guy was on the opposite side of the table, staring at him, but he was way to awkward to introduce himself so he just didn't do it. Tho that didn't really help as Keith dared a glance at the guy, he had a sideways smirk on his sun kissed face and his blue eyes were looking right at Keith trying to get eye contact. God this guy was such a douche. 

"So, you're Shiros famous brother huh?" The guy said with a grin as he patted Shiros back who was sitting beside him, Shiro just rolled his eyes with a smile, not seeming bothered at all about the fact that this guy was so... typical rich privilege dude. 

Keith looked at the guy through his bangs and chuckled a bit, amazed by this guy. "Yeah, I'm Keith, and you are?" Keith asked with the same amazed smirk on his lips, a bit of sass in his last words. 

The guys mouth dropped as he turned to Shiro with raised eyebrows, jokingly triggered. "Shiro! You didn't tell him who I am?" the guy proclaimed, voice ironically cracking with hurt, one of his hands placed on his heart to show how 'betrayed' he felt. 

"Oh shit, yeah I probably just forgot I'm sorry" Shiro said with a smile as the guy turned back to Keith, looking at him with another grin. Did this guy really think this was going to effect Keith? Well it didn't, it was just ironically irritating and amusing at the same time. 

"Well, the name's Lance" the guy, Lance, said with soft eyes and a warming grin. Even tho it didn't affect Keith, he had to say the boy had good flirting technique, smiling like that, he had to get a lot of girls.

Keith just looked at him, the same amused smile, and thin eyes. He just raised his eyebrows at Lance trying to figure out a good roast as fast as possible. "Lance, Lance? Nope, haven't heard of it. But not that weird that my brother didn't say anything about you, you seem pretty boring" Keith said with a steady tone, trying to hide away his smile as the boy in front of him's reaction came; he first raised his eyebrows impressed, and then the old grin came back again. 

"Oh, I'm boring. Wow, okay, the game is on, mullet" Lance answered with glancing eyes, smirking. Keith looked over the boys face, he had small freckles painted over his cheeks and nose, high cheekbones, messy brown hair, a thin nose, and a mouth with a grin that made his lips look soft to the touch. Yeah, the boy was hot, but seriously, the way that he acted he would probably be terrible in bed, and Keith was not interested in something like that, he hadn't even wanted sex at all on this trip, that was not something he had been especially hoping for, and it was still nothing important to him here, he just wanted to chill out and try to keep himself cool not getting angry. Tho right now it was hard for him, wtf kind of nickname was mullet, yeah he did have a mullet, but it suited him! It looked good on him. Who was this guy to make fun of it. 

"Oh a game? Well if there's a game then why not bring home another trophy" Keith said with a small smirk, looking Lance straight in the eye. "We'll see about that" Lance answered leaning back in his chair, looking pretty confident about himself.  

Keith was lying, of course he had heard about Lance, of course Shiro had mentioned him time to time, of course he had heard about this boys ridiculous jokes and his ways of never giving up a fight, how could he not have heard about that one time Lance had stood up for a bullied kid and then taken him for ice cream. Oh, Keith had heard all about it, and yes, this boy truly was all that Shiro was talking about, but a game was a game, and no matter how much this boy interested Keith, it was all just a game, life was always just a game. 

\---

"Oh, so even they think you're so irritating you can't sleep with them?" Keith said as Lance came through the creaky door, throwing a backpack on one of the two other beds, starting to grab clothes from it, folding them to then put them in the drawer beside the bed. To Keith they all looked kinda the same, blue and beige, t-shirts, sweatpants, shorts, an ridiculous amount of black socks and some more shirts. 

"No, _dulce_ , there's not enough beds in that house. Besides, who says I didn't choose to sleep in here and not there" Lance signed with a sour face, eyebrows high up on his forehead at the later sentence. Keith frowned at that, there was no way such an extrovert would dismiss a chance to sleep in that big cabin with everyone else, this boy would not choose to be isolated in this little nook, but still he was here. 

"Yeah, yeah sure" Keith said scoffing as he sat up a bit straighter in his bed, getting Ruby to move in his lap, staring up at him with a deadly look, Keith just ignored it for now. Lance stopped folding one of his identical t-shirts to look up at Keith with an fake hurt expression on his face, god this boy. 

"Is that a mocking tone, _dulce_ , if I may ask?" Lance said dramatically putting a hand on his heart, squeezing the material of the, exactly the same looking as the ones in his bag, t-shirt. Keith just rolled his eyes looking back at Lance raising his eyebrows at that word he used, dulce. 

"What does that even mean?" Keith asked furrowing his brows looking straight at Lance, who had gone back to his clothes. 

"What, _dulce_?" Lance asked still focused on folding all his clothes, redo it if it didn't get as he wanted it to, avoiding Keith's eyes. Keith just nodded, but of course Lance didn't see it cuz he was a fucking idiot so then Keith  hummed, irritated at how the boy didn't pay attention. 

"You should know what it means by looking yourself in the mirror" Lance said turning to Keith with an devilish smile, giving him finger guns and then he winked. 

Oh, so the mullet, fuck, this boy made Keith so irritated it was funny. Although that smile was so cringe for Keith he didn't even have the energy to start an argument. And apparently Lance noticed by the fact that the room fell silent, it was awkward, yes, and very much so, but Keith didn't really care, so instead he just laid there watching Lance as he kept folding clothes.

Keith watched as Lance took out another blue and white t-shirt and Keith could have sworn he had seen Lance pick up the exact same t-shirt, like, three times already. But then again Keith didn't really notice differences in clothes, he wasn't a fashionable person, he didn't really care about his clothes unless he was wearing a douchebag tank top or high socks with sandals. But now, that Keith was watching Lance pick up his clothes to then carefully fold them to just as carefully put them in his drawer, damn, this boy sure cared about his appearance. Non of the clothes were ugly, as far as Keith knew from his lack of knowledge, but why did this guy have so many clothes? Tho again, he probably had many friends to look good in front of. A girlfriend.

"Hey guys" Keith could hear an happy voice say from the door that had opened without Keith even noticing, in the doorway there was a big, dark skinned guy standing with a smile on his face, that was Hunk. Hunk was a very happy, peaceful individual, Keith had noticed that very quickly, from the moment they had started a small conversation Keith had noticed, and honestly, it surprised him a lot that this big, a bit scary looking, guy was this nice. And a bit of a pussy, if Keith's opinion was something worth listening to. 

"Hey Hunk" Lance said with a low,  focused tone, his eyes still on his clothes. Keith just waved at Hunk as he said hi to him as well. Then Keith just went back to the cat in his lap, patting her soft fur. Honestly, this situation was one of the most awkward ones Keith had been in, he was here, in an painfully small for his introverted personality, room with two, extremely straight, guys that he barely knew, they also seemed to be pretty good friends so right now, Keith just felt like a big third wheel. And he hated that situation, but he always ended up in them. With no real friends that were actually intrested in who he was and what he was feeling, ending up as the third wheel had become completely normal for Keith, and he was going to use the tactic he always used when it happened, he was going to walk the fuck out. 

"Uhm, yeah guys, I think Im gonna go for a bit of a... night time stroll" Keith said with a neutral look on his face, trying to look invisible, he was good at it so he always got away with things. Like all those times he'd missed the deadlines and gotten away with it, lying, pretending to be sad, being invisible.

"okay, well I'm gonna go to bed now but see you tomorrow" Hunk said with a nice smile looking at Keith as he sat up and took his bag, his hair falling in his face so that he could barely see, it always did that, it was fucking irritating. Keith just nodded with an empty facial expression as he stood up straight on the floor to grab his bag hastily, wanting to get out of the thick air filling the cabin, this was not his place. As he went by Lance he only took a small glare at Keith before his focus was back on his clothes. And without another word Keith opened the creaky door in a fast move to step out into the cold breeze, standing completely still on the porch after closing the door. 

Because of the fact that it was summer the sun was still shining over the place in a beautiful sunset, it was almost gone but Keith knew it would stay for almost the whole night because of what time a' year it was. Keith was standing in darkness because of the forest, but the lake in front of him was shimmering with a slight orange color. It was really dark and you couldn't see the sun, but you could still perceive the ground in the suns slight light.

Keith signed in relief as he slipped his eyes closed, taking in the quiet world around him, his hand finally loosing up it's grip of itself. Although he opened his eyes with a smile across his face as he could hear Ruby meowing from beside him, her yellow eyes big and curious of what they were going to do now, that they where outside. Keith just stared out over the shore with relief as he then took the first step forward, going down the short amount of stairs to the cabin to then put his feet on solid ground. Keith knew exactly what he was going to do. 

Keith stared over the view before him, placing his focus on the other path that he had noticed while he first came to the smaller cabin. It was a smaller path on the right side of him, barely noticeable, going to the more rocky side of the lake that he hadn't seen yet, the path going away from the cabins in to the more private forest. From the moment Keith had seen there was another path going by the water he had known it would be something he would take advantage of, thank to god that it was there, because he knew it would lead to a more separate place, somewhere where he didn't have to worry about people seeing him, or about people wanting to talk to him, or having to be social, this path was going somewhere where Keith could just be no one. 

Without further hesitation Keith started walking towards the slightly hidden path in a fast pace, and when he was there, he sneaked his head in between the trees to step on to a small trail.

Keith felt kind of like a ninja wandering down the path with quiet steps, over and over again glancing over his shoulder to see if anyone were following him, or if anything was suspicious. Of course nothing were as he was completely alone and it was really fucking late, but he liked creating some kind of story about himself when he was alone, like a camera was always rolling, watching his every step and he had to act like he was part of a movie. That's what happens when you're always alone, almost no people around you, no one to trust, to love, to talk to, then you get creative. And for Keith who didn't even have the urge or need to be social he had become a person who almost never got bored, going along completely fine with just his cat and his creativity. 

Slowly Keith could notice how the path started becoming more and more of rock instead of dirt, and soon he found a secure place for him to relax on. With Ruby strutting by his side Keith lead his steps towards a cliff a bit away from the path, a bit hidden, just by the water. It looked nice to Keith and like no one would ever suspect he was there, and as he got there, standing on that big rock, staring over the lake, there was no sign of the big cabin, just trees and shimmering water. Without hesitation Keith let his backpack slide of his shoulders to then gently put it down on the rock, just beside where Keith sat down. After a bit of struggling to find a comfortable position, Keith slowly rested his back against the cliff behind him, the one hiding the whole place he had found. After that he opened the backpack taking out his sketchbook and a pen, placing it in front of him to then feel Ruby getting up in his lap, laying her head down on his knee to then comfortably close her eyes, snuggling up against his warmth. Keith couldn't do other then to smile, pet her soft fur with his fingers to then hear her purr in response, she really was his savior. He remembered when he had found her, all seamy and scared, in that dark town alley, all alone. He remembered about when he had stared in to those big yellow eyes, and how it had been impossible to ignore her. He had taken her to a veterinarian and they hadn't found any sign of her having an owner, so Keith had taken her to his dorm, were she had slept for hours and hours, and after that Keith couldn't let go of her. With that Keith smiled, bringing his hand to her ear making it twitch in reaction, feeling her relax in his lap even more. 

The water was dark, you could see nothing under the surface, and with the suns dim light it looked like thick oil. It scared Keith to look at it, and he was happy he was as far away from the water as he was, he did not want some weird as octopus drag him down in to that dark liquid. But it also satisfied Keith to look at, the dark water, the yellow forest, the dim sky, the quiet sound of small waves hitting the cliff he was sitting on, he wanted to remember this moment because it made him equally terrified as it made him curious, and inspired. 

Without looking Keith opened his sketchbook and laid the pen to the paper. He didn't really know what he was drawing but after about an hour of bringing his pen over the paper in small moves it turned out... good. It was drawn only in grey shades, no colors, the motive was his brother, covered in roses, and with a dark crow on his shoulder. The whole drawing made Keith feel the same as the nature around him did, scared but safe, especially the crow. 

Without another thought Keith closed the sketchbook and put the stuff in his bag, waking Ruby in the process, which really only was good no matter how grumpy she got, he was not going to leave her hear even if she wanted to keep sleeping. He needed to return at some point and he did not like the idea of him waking up as a zombie in the morning, he knew less sleep made him hate mornings even more than he already did, and with Shiro deciding which time to get out of bed he needed all the sleep he could get. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you like this shit, comment your opinions and I will be a happy cornflake.


	3. Hunks Amazing Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first of all, sorry for not having any special times for updating this shit but the thing is... I have school, I have a pretty extreme social life so there’s a lot of people to talk to, and this is in English, WICH IS AMAZING CUZ I MEAN I CAN AT LEAST WRITE A LITTLE, but you know, it takes time. So I get it’s confusing not really knowing when a new chapter comes out, or if it’s gonna come out, but right now this is something I don’t plan on abandoning just yet. So enjoy this new chapter of klance!

"WAKE UP! seriously, this guy has a sleeping problem..." 

Keith slowly opened his eyes to then close them again at the painful sting from the sunlight flowing in from the window. God, what time was it? It felt like he'd slept for like, an hour, maybe less, and what was that smell, was that... guacamole? Why was it smelling of guacamole this early in the morning. 

When Keith opened his eyes again and after they'd gotten used to the light, he was looking up at Lance, staring straight at him, the short amount of hair on his head falling down in front of him, his eyebrows furrowed and mouth in a straight line. He had his hands on each side of Keith's head, making Keith feel blood flowing up to his cheeks, his gaze avoiding Lance's, he was so close. 

"Dude, you sleep like the dead, we literally couldn't wake you, do you have like some kind of diagnosis or some shit? Cuz damn" Lance said with the same serious expression, but Keith could see in his eyes that this was only to piss him off, and it did. "Fuck off Lance" Keith said pushing Lance off with one hand as he scrunched the sheets again, and as he had expected, Lance only smirked as he continued: "no but seriously, do you have some weird sleeping issues? Because you know it's okay and we're always here to talk, you know" Lance said with a smirk and mocking tone as he gestured to Hunk sitting on his bed occupied with something in his hands, not even part of the conversation, so he only looked up at Lance rolling his eyes. Keith answered the same; 'fuck off' as he sat up in the bed turning to his nightstand, picking up his phone looking at the screen with crumpled eyes. 6:30, why was it so  _early._

"no but actually, you need to get up like now if you want to shower with us to then go fix breakfast" Lance said with a more serious tone, his smirk still there but a bit faded. Wait... Was this boy wanting him to get into activities? Just such simple thing as showering, and even taking the time to wake him and not just leave without him? Wow, whit what he'd gotten to know about Lance this level of friendliness seemed impossible. 

"Oh, Lance waits for Keith so they can go shower together. A little heads up, I'm not your boyfriend" Keith said with a chuckle as he picked up a good-to-wear black t-shirt. Lance didn't answer but when Keith glared up at him he's cheeks were glowing, he had won, it felt good.

"Btw why is it smelling like guacamole in here?" Keith questioned before Lance could say anything in his defense, which probably was good because now the flush on his face was gone and replaced by a big grin.

"Face masks my fellow not-taking-care-of-their-skin dude, not everyone has naturally beautiful skin like you _dulce_ " Lance said with a teasing wink, wiggling his eyebrows at Keith as he picked up a bag, it was half opened so Keith could easily see the towel in it, was there clean underwear in there too? A pair that would fit perfectly around Lance's ass?

Keith just shook his head with a tired smile, not even having the energy to care about Lance's coments or nicknames, he only stood up to put on a pair of training shorts, not wanting to die by the heat that would probably be pretty intense, telling by the sun that was already present. Well, Keith just had to survive, even if he knew he would be dead by the end of the summer. He took all the necessary shit (soap, clean underwear, a towel, his sketchbook and pen, the red  stone he always brought with him for luck, a snickers bar that he’d been dying to eat and deodorant because he was going to sweat. So. Bad) and followed Lance and Hunk out on the porch. 

***

They'd walked for about five minutes on an, to Keith, unknow path when he could spot a small house a bit in to the forest, it was painted dark red with a door on one of the short sides. Was that where the showers were? Why weren’t they just in the big cabin? Why did they have to be so far away!?

Keith just sighed as the three of them marched up to the stairs leading up to the brown door, Lance taking the few steps up putting his hand on the door handle to open up. With a creaky sound and the door out off his view, Keith peeked in to a short corridor of white tiles and two more doors leading in to separate rooms. The floor was dirty, so were the walls, and there was no such thing as lightning other than from the the tiny window high up on one of the walls. It was not much, not much at all, but still both Lance and Hunk sighed in relief, and Keith couldn’t think other than that they were completely nuts. 

“Shotgun” Lance yelled in a high pitched voice with a grin as ran towards the stall furthest away from the door, Hunk did the same before Keith could say anything and locked himself in the closest stall. _Shit_ , he missed his chance on showering first, well, at least he had a bigger chance on getting to be alone as he did actually get to shower. 

After about a minute or two Keith could hear Lance’s shower turn on and the water running, and not long after that he could hear Hunks shower do the same. With his arms crossed and his eyes dropped to the floor Keith walked up to one of the walls, leaning his back against the hard tiles, tilting his head back breathing out an irritated sigh, well, it was just to wait. 

But waiting wasn’t as easy as Keith thought it would be, as the only thing popping up in his head was the fact that Lance and his fine ass were showering, naked, just behind the door in front of him, soaking himself with soap, his hair, his back, his broad shoulders, water running down his neck, further down on his chest, over his stomach, the one that was probably pecked with muscles twitching at the cold water running teasingly slow, and then even further down, slowly reaching down to—

Keith took a shaky breath as he shifted weight between his legs, god, he really needed that shower. 

Suddenly, one of the showers turned off, making Keith’s pulse rise in his chest, his eyes flying open. He stared over the two doors, quickly realizing it was Lance’s stall that had turned quiet, well, at least a little quieter as Lance had tripped banging in to the door with an ‘oof’ as the water had shut off. Keith chuckled slightly before abruptly shutting his mouth as the door opened, a topless Lance walking out with his towel wrapt around his waist, a side smirk planted on his face.  Keith was right, he did have a six pack. 

“Hello mullet, oh, you... smell a bit, should probably take a shower” Lance said with an sarcastic tone as he raised his eyebrows with the same fucking _smirk,_ looking straight in to Keith’s eyes, why was he this way? Keith only huffed turning his gaze anywhere but Lance, not trusting his voice with the way Lance was looking: hair damp sticking out in different directions in some places from him probably drying it off with his towel once, but still dripping down on to his chest, heaving with breaths probably recovering from the fight with the door just then, his cheeks slightly flushed from who knows what reason and—was that freckles? God, he had freckles and they were just to cute and irritating for Keith so he had to look away, couldn’t stand someone like _him_ looking like _that_. 

Hastily Keith opened the door to the now empty stall walking in already dragging the shirt over his head, and when it was off, closing the door behind him. Gosh, why did he have to think like that, he was just tired, he needed to wake himself up with cold water running down his spine, shaking his brain back to life.  

Keith looked around the small room with the same white tiles while listening to Lance shuffling with his things outside the door, probably putting on some clothes. There were shelves put up on the walls, for belongings and soap and shit like that, there were also hooks for clothes and a wall separating the shower and the place he was standing in right now. He breathed out a sigh as he took of his socks and pants to put them aside, not even caring if they’d get wet or not, he just wanted to shower and get over with it, make breakfast and eat his snickers bar, god... he loved snickers, was someone here allergic?

After the boxers dropped to the  floor Keith stepped behind the other wall to find a shower nozzle laying on the floor still spilling out a small amount of water, lazy ass bitch not even turning off the shower properly, amateur. Keith sighed once again and wondered how many times he’d done that that day, because he sighed a lot, like all the time because he couldn’t stop the irritation spreading through his veins, boiling his blood, and he just wanted people around to hear how fucking irritated he got from time to time. 

When the shower nozzle was in his hand and not on the floor and the water was running down over his hair down his cheeks like tears, and down over his shoulders, reaching his stomach and then dripping down to the floor, slightly cold but in a nice, soothing way, he relaxed, feeling every muscle in him let go and sink in to the steam slowly beginning to appeare.

***

“God Keith, took you long enough” Lance said from where he stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at Keith with a neutral, focused face, he looked like he was trying to hide the fact that he was pissed, wich, of course, made Keith smirk. Keith was standing at the top of the stairs, his hair still damp from the shower, but he knew it would dry in a few seconds in this sun, shining through the trees. He had just packed up his stuff, put on his clothes and dried his hair enough so that it wouldn’t make his t-shirt any more wet than it already would get from all the sweating. 

“Seriously, not even Hunk waited, and Hunk _always_ waits” Lance said gesturing with his hands in sloppy movements trying to intensify how ‘extremely long’ Keith took showering. Keith was having non of it, he didn’t care what the fuck Lance thought about his time in showers. 

“Okay, so if Hunk is the one that _always_ waits: then why are you here and not him?” Keith asked while taking the first step down the stairs, confident smile on his lips, but not to cocky, he was not _that_ guy. He was never that guy, never wanted to be, he remembered all the guys he’d been with that had been to cocky and not stopping when they were alone together. Let’s just say those relationships didn’t last that long, Keith giving up on trying on guys that he thought had a softer inside but apparently not so much. 

”because, _dulce_ , ‘m feeling extra nice today” Lance answered with a sideway smirk swinging his hoodie over his shoulder, turning on his heel to start a confident walk down the path back to the big cabin. Keith snorted as he watched those hips sway with rhythm, did Lance dance? By what he was seeing, probably. 

The walk to the big cabin was quiet, awkward, _terribly awkward._ They’d been walking beside each other, not talking, Keith hadn’t even dared to look at Lance, although when he did dare himself to glance over to where he was walking beside him, he had a smile, a genuine smile, shining with teeth time from time. And it surprised Keith that the boy on his side managed to keep quiet so much that he babbled with everyone else, maybe he didn’t like Keith? Huh, well if that was the case then Keith didn’t like him either. But he didn’t really care, right now he was happy it was quiet, that he didn’t have to be stuck in an awkward conversation. 

When they'd finally gotten to the cabin, Lance had ran up the stairs to open the doors in a fast motion, announcing his entrance with a yell of something in the ways of ‘look at me, your hero is here!’ Keith had just as before huffed with a bit of a smile teasing his mouth, _this_ boy. 

“Geez Lance, we’re all fucking tired can you just step it down a notch” Keith heard Pidge say in an energy drained tone from were he stood at the foot of the stairs on the way to, just as Lance, enter the cabin. Bet she had had just as little sleep as him, probably because of the sun never really going down... or maybe the phone that constantly seemed to be stuck in her hands, fingers tapping rapidly. “Oh no Katie, that you can dream of, we have so much shit...” Lance was cut off by Shiro yelling ‘language’ in an determent voice , the dark skinned boy gave him a look that said ‘are you fucking serious’ but proceeded to change the sentence: “anyways, we have so much _amazing, funny experiences_... to prepare for, so Pidge! I will not step it down a notch, no way, Jose” Lance had said with an obvious Spanish accent at the end when Keith came in to the room as well, face as pale as always and body dressed in his normal idantical clothes.

As he looked over the faces in the room he, just as the day before, realized how little he fitted in there. He had no one but his brother in this room to protect him from the personalities he didn’t know, but his brother was nowhere to be seen as he just as all the others wanted Keith to open up, have fun, be like any other normal young adult, but _god_ , he didn’t have the energy, he didn’t want to fit in, and it seemed like the only one being on his side about that was Lance, but that was obviously because he didn’t like Keith that much, didn’t care what he did or didn’t do.

”Good morning Keith, how was the showers? I know it can be weird for people who lives in towns but I hope it wasn’t to weird?” Allura asked with her British accent in a concerned tone, her eyebrows furrowed with a cup of tea in her hands. She was sitting in one of the armchairs with really, _really_ short jeans shorts and a pink crop top on, her hair in a tight bun. She looked, _nice_. She looked comforting, he didn’t really know, but he knew why Shiro adored her. 

“No they were fine... no problem” Keith said standing in the doorway wondering what the hell to do now, was he supposed to walk around like Lance acting all cool and chill like he could do whatever he wanted with charm, or was he going to walk up to and sit down in armchair in the cornen with Ruby purring in his lap being all antisocial and shit, or was he just gonna stand there, stale, not having any clue how to function. Coran, Allura, Hunk and Shiro was staring at him like he was a pry just about to be killed, like every movement could lead to death and he had to act fast but choose right. Luckily, he was saved. 

“Yo Keith, want to help me with breakfast?” Hunks gleeful voice asked through the thick air, turning all attention to him so that Keith could answer with a choked out ‘sure’ and with a fast pace walk past the hawks now distracted with another prey, to the open kitchen, rather than staying in doorframe dying from the eyes pasted on him. Couldn’t they make a little less obvious that Shiro had told them that Keith was ‘ _special_?’ He wasn’t even that special! He just didn’t like attention that much, didn’t like it when people’s eyes were on him, and this wasn’t making it any better. Luckily, Hunk seemed to notice it, and probably Pidge as well as she just left him for her phone, and Lance? Well, Lance was nowhere to be seen right then. 

As Keith got up to Hunk he was placed in front of a counter with fruits: apples, oranges, grapes, bananas, a mango, even a fucking pineapple, all of them laying on a cutting board with a sharp knife on the side of it. Well, cutting fruits weren’t really Keith’s forte but he was happy Hunk had saved him from that horrible place in the doorway and as he dared a glance a the bigger guy he got a comforting smile in his direction, and a friendly wink saying that Hunk knew exactly what had gone trough Keith’s mind as he stood there with eyes prying over him. And as Keith was about to give him a ‘thank you,’ Hunk cut him off: “Come on Keith, without the fruits Hunks amazing pancakes won’t be the same, they need that extra freshness from fruits so that it doesn’t kill your tastebuds because of the sweet from the syrup, ya’ know?” Hunk said with a sweet grin on his face as he the second later turned his attention back to the frying pan in his hand as he flipped the pancake in it. Keith chuckled for himself at how obliviously cool this guy was, way cooler than Lance with his ways of doing stupid jokes, and his stupid charm, and stupid hair, it was a shame such a beautiful boy had to have such an irritating personality. 

After the pancakes were made and the fruits were cut (rather unprofessional) in silence (heaven) Shiro and Coran has started setting the table with various things needed for ‘Hunks-heavenly-good-pancakes’: syrup, cream, water because without that your throat would die, and a bunch of flowers... for some reason. And when all the extremely necessary things were on the table, they all seated around it.  

“So Keith, how do you enjoy the small *couch sucky *couch cabin” Pidge said to him with a smirk on her face, totally innocent, when Keith had taken his first pancake. “Katie, it’s not the ‘sucky’ cabin! It’s beautiful, maybe it’s because you don’t know how complexly it’s build that you don’t understand it’s amazingness” Coran had said with the same high pitch voice, was that like, his real voice, while he’d given Pidge a death stare over the table to where she was sitting with a confident smirk. “Coran, you know it sucks” Pidge mouthed over the table to the red haired man, who only shook his head in response, all this happening while Keith started eating. “I gotta say I’m on Corans side about this, it really is beautiful there, maybe you should try sleeping there for a night?” Hunk cut in and said with his normal chill voice, Coran laughed a short laugh at Pidge to make sure she knew he now had not only him but also Hunk on his side. Pidge only shook it off as she took a big bite of her pancake. “Oh no fucking way...” Shiro sighed over the swearing “...I sleep in there, you only say that because you want to sleep in this cabin, but guess what Hunk, I ain’t going anywhere” Pidge said with a sassy tone as her mouth were full of pancake, staring over all of them with suspicious eyes. Hunk have her a ‘I would never’ in response and Keith just wondered over what had just happened. They’d been fighting, over something like this, but they were friends? No, they were good friends to Shiro, his best friends, but they were all so different, Keith’s friends were nothing like this, they didn’t really say anything against Keith’s opinions, but these guys were all over the place, not afraid to say something with a bit of sting to it, he guessed they must really trust each other. 

“Sorry Pidge, but Coran and Hunk are right, it’s really fricking nice over there” Keith said and as Pidge got a pout pasted on her face Keith gave her an apologetic smile, and at that she only huffed taking a big bite of her pancake. Keith went back to his plate as well but was quickly interrupted by Shiro. 

“Does anyone know where Lance went?” He asked looking around the room trying to find the obnoxiously loud boy, but he was nowhere to be seen, and suddenly Keith noticed how quiet it had been, not having Lance around to piss him off or yell jokes over the table. 

“He told me he was going to go  upstairs” Allura peeked up and said with a worried tone, and as she had said so, the rest of them also seemed worried, turning their eyes to the stair on the other side of the room. Why they were so fucking worried was a mystery to Keith, and it honestly kinda freaked him out: how they all were watching the stairs like it was going to explode, how they stopped everything for it and how they put so much energy in to worrying about Lance. Like, _Lance_. Keith was about to say something as he stared over the stale people around the table, Allura looking extra pale as her eyes went back to the pancake on her plate like she was going to puke if she ate it. But he couldn’t bring himself to talk, as he was once again reminded about the fact that these people were not his friends, and he didn’t actually know what was going on so he just kept his mouth shut. 

“Do you think I should go talk to him?” Hunk asked looking at Allura with a small voice, like Allura was the one to decide if they were aloud around Lance when... _this happened_. 

“No, he will be down as soon as he’s collected himself, he always is” Allura said shaking her head grabbing her cutlery in a tight grip, turning her knuckles white.

What the heck was going on?! Why was Keith here, in the middle of this _thing_? He didn’t get it, why did he have to talk with Lance at all? Why had he gotten convinced by his brother to go here? Did he even want to be here, no matter what he shouldn’t be here. But no matter how much he wanted to leave he just couldn’t, and as they started eating again, soon the normal conversations started up again, and everyone’s appetite seemed to be on top again. But Keith’s? No, Keith didn’t feel like eating anything right now, not even Hunks amazing pancakes, and as Lance was spotted on the top of the stairs, walking down to them with the classic Lance-smirk, everyone acted like everything was normal, not at all like they’d been sitting there pale and worrying for him, and Keith didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help stairing at Lance during the whole breakfast, furrowed eyebrows staring over the boy making just the same jokes as always, being the obvious drama queen, but the boy in front of him right in that moment, Keith now knew was fake, he was a hundred percent sure now that the boy was hiding, _a lot_ , more than Keith had first anticipated. And it made it sting with frustration that, even if they’d only known each other just for about two days, Lance didn’t trust Keith with his insecurities, his fears, but in real life that wasn’t that weird, because Keith was, in fact, not his friend. They just knew each other, and that wasn’t enough for what Keith wanted. 


	4. Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PEOPLE ARE LIKING THIS!? Boi I’m impressed by myself, and I hope I won’t make you hate this by making the wrong choices when writhing it. Anyways thank you for the comments I really appreciate the love I’m getting.

After the stale breakfast, featuring sneaky glances at Lance as he sat there as normal as ever, not even looking at Keith, completely ignoring him: they all got the chance to go take it easy on their own. Allura, Coran and Shiro proceeded to take care of the kitchen before settling down on the cabins porch to take it easy, talking about some random shit that they probably liked to talk about. Keith had heard the words ‘party’ and ‘tents’ in there but didn’t have the energy to think any more of it. Hunk, Pidge and Lance had decided to go for a bit of an adventure, probably somewhere out to more water and more cliffs, so that they could climb on them, at least that was what Shiro had told him. They had asked Keith if he wanted to come with them, and Keith really wanted to, be able to be normal, hang out, make his brother proud, but he just couldn’t interfere with these three friends happiness, he didn’t want to destroy it for Lance- _god_ , this boy had made a mark on him, he didn’t want to ruin Lance’s experience and happiness on this vacation, he wasn’t going to be that mean. So Keith said no. He hadn’t come with them on there little adventure. 

Instead, Keith had decided to go back to the small cabin, planning on staying there to sleep, sketch, cuddle with Ruby and just think, but it was to fucking hot so instead he changed his shirt to a grey tank top (not the douchbag kind tank god) and stepped out the creaky wooden door. The sun was shining as bright as the day before and it made Keith sigh, this weather was going to be the end of him. But without any more unhappy thoughts, Keith jumped over the stairs to land on dirt, his dark brown shoes hitting solid ground, Ruby strutting down beside him.

First, he had wanted to go to the cliff he’d been on the other night but when he got there, it was to much light, and no matter how much his cat liked it, it hadn’t felt as secure as it had at night so instead he kept walking and soon found himself walking blindly on a path going in to the forest and away from the water. And after about ten minutes, he found it. 

Keith didn’t know where he was going or what he was doing, how was he going to kill time here, for a month? He should’ve stayed in the cabin, looked for something fun to do there, he could’ve probably found something there like board game at least, now he was just walking blindly in the forest, desperately trying to find _something_. Keith moved the branch in front of him out of the way to get past, stepping over a root to avoid tripping over it. He was going to turn around, go back, probably settle down with his phone and Pidges sun cell to load his phone, but he didn’t, because he found something. 

Keith slowed down his steps as he, in the distance, could spot a house between the trees, the sun shining down on it, making the greenery growing over it visible. It didn’t look big, though it was a tall house, but as Keith got closer to it, he realized it was bigger than he expected, maybe a house for two, in the middle of the forest. A shiver spread throughout Keith’s body as he realized these were those kinds of houses in horror movies, the ones were the people died, god he needed to stop watching horror movies. As he put those thoughts aside and convinced himself that ghosts didn’t exist and most definitely wasn’t evil, he looked over the house again, admiring how beautiful it was: it was two levels high with dark red wood with some spots peeled of, most of the windows were still whole, dirty and slightly reflecting the sunlight, greenery growing over some of them, the door was big and white with some dark spots of the wood underneath the paint, a rusty door handle, the stairs leading up to it green with small mushrooms peeking through the gaps, it definitely wasn’t in use but it was not completely corrupted, Keith guessed it couldn’t have been that long ago that someone had lived there. 

With another glance at the door he decided it would be a good idea, or at least an interesting one, to investigate in the place. So with hesitant steps he walked up the stairs to put a hand on the door handle, it was round and rusty and when he turned it he could hear a small click sound, and the door opened. It was scary for Keith, he wasn’t used for it to be this quiet, for it to be this peaceful... for it to be so much tension, and as he opened the door up more so that he could glance in, he could feel a shiver spread over his body, making his pulse rise. 

The floor was of dark wooden planks and with small spots of moss played out over it, it was dark but visible to Keith’s eyes, old furniture looking like they could be expensive fragments of history, them old and rotten as well, the wooden table in the big open room he could see through the hall he was standing in with a hole through it, the chandelier in the sealing still with candles in. It looked like someone had just left, without taking anything with them, like the apocalypse had started and they just had to run.

And Keith didn’t like it, this house was creepy, it was cool, but it was creepy, making his skin crawl and sweat run faster then before. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to investigate, maybe he should just go back right? Right, he could just find a board game and he’ll be good, he’ll have fun, or at least kind of, but it would be better than this place freaking him out. He could probably try being a bit social as well, maybe he could draw some more, that would be nice.

As Keith debated over what to do when he got back to the cabin, he closed the door to the house, leaving it, Ruby strutting on his side, looking just like when he got there, and started pacing down the path he had walked to get there. 

***

”Oh look who’s back, you had fun in your cabin?” Keith could here a delightful voice call to him, and as he looked up he could see Shiro walking down the stairs to the cabin with a grin on his face, arms folded on his chest. “Do anything exciting?” Shiro then asked as he came to stand in front of Keith who stood in front of the cabin, about a meter away with his arms  still folded, it was obvious Shiro though Keith was lazy for staying in his cabin, and that, eventually, he would have to be social. 

“I just needed some quiet, silence. you know: Lance” Keith said with a fake-pissed-off tone as he looked up at Shiro with an empty facial expression. Shiro just chuckled and placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder.

“You wanna go on a walk? I mean the whole reason I brought (forced) you here was so that we could catch up” Shiro said with a... concerned tone? Keith actually smiled a bit at that, it was true, that was why his brother had invited him, and Keith actually felt like catching up, the last year they hadn’t actually felt like brothers, but like those siblings that didn’t _talk_ , and it scared Keith. 

“Sure, but only if Ruby can come with us” Keith said hitting Shiros  shoulder with a soft, childish punch, cringing at the fact of what he’d just done. He hit his brother on the shoulder, like it was _cool_ , like anyone outside of cheesy tv-shows did that?!

***

”So, I didn’t actually stay in the cabin, it was to hot—I actually took a walk” Keith said while glancing out over the lakes surface. They had been walking for a while now, Ruby with them, and in silence, not saying anything, just looking out over the water. Shiro had been quiet, a soft smile on his lips, but not starting a conversation, it was obvious he wanted to wait for Keith, for Keith to be the one to break the ice. And Keith was truly thankful, but he wanted to know about the house that he’d found. 

“I’m sensing that there’s more to the story here?” Shiro asked meeting Keith’s eyes, not bringing up the fact that Keith finally decided to talk. 

“Yeah, kinda, I... I found a destroyed house in the forest, do you- you know what it is?” Keith informed Shiro about while gesturing with his hands trying to send him the message. 

“Yes, you fond the other house, I haven’t been there actually, you say it’s completely destroyed, how do you mean?” Shiro then said, sounding like it was completely normal that there just were a house, in the middle of nowhere, and how did he know it existed?

”it’s like, growing plants all over it, the windows are dusty, there are holes in the floor— and in the table” Keith said, Turing his head to see if Ruby was still with them, she was. 

“Okay, well that house is- was also one of Alfords cabins, and when he died, Allura got that one too. But she doesn’t want to move around in it, she grew up with that house, she grew up playing there as a kid, with her dad, so she just left it untouched, and I don’t have the hert to convince her to do otherwise” Shiro said, trying to keep a straight face but failing as a small blush was splayed over his cheeks. Wow, he had really fallen for this chick hadn’t he? Keith smirk for himself rising his eyebrows at Shiro, who just furrowed his brows and looked away. 

“You really like her don’t you?” Keith asked even if he already knew the answer. And as Shiro got even redder Keith chuckled a bit. Sometimes he also wanted to have something like that, to have such a crush on someone making them fill up your whole world, but as years went on, and Keith hadn’t found anyone to trust, no parents, no girl or guy or anything in between to fall in love with, it made a mark on him, made him feel utterly empty at times. At least his brother got to have that, and Shiro sure was someone who deserved it.

”She’s a very admirable woman” Shiro answered, quietly, with a thin mouth and pink face, his arms folded on his chest.

”Well, I’m happy I got to come with you here to watch you flirt with each other— but I... I kinda need to tell you something” Keith said a bit quieter and now it was his turn to get pink and secured. He never talked about feelings, or emotions, this was going to be awkward, but Shiro needed to know.

”I... thank you, truly, for letting me come with you on this trip, whit your friends. An-And I know it’s hard with me because of how I am with antisocial-ness, bu-but I’m really trying and I’m happy that you-that you trust me but...” he was cut off by two hands grabbing him from behind and turning him around so that he could meet Shiros eyes that he had avoided while talking, they were determined and worried, his eyebrows furrowed and jaw tight. He was holding an hard grip on Keith, who’s heart was raised and mouth closed, he felt uncomfortable with showing off affection, especially when the answer he got was _that_ from his brother. 

“Don’t, ever, think you’re not worth it Keith, you’re my brother, and I know you don’t believe you deserve love from all years you’ve had without it but I promise you, you deserve it” Shiro said with a serious voice staring Keith straight in the eye, not stuttering even a little bit, not even Keith doubted his brother was saying the truth, exactly what he was thinking, what he was thinking might not be true but didn’t matter, it was worth believing it for the moment. 

Keith locked his arms around the taller mans body and took a shaking breath, he was not going to cry, nope, never, even thought he was close. 

“Thank you” he said with a shaky tone as he pushed away from the hug, wiping his eyes from tears, collecting himself before he looked up at Shiro again. He was wearing a smile, no, a fucking _smug smile_. His brother really was going to do that huh? Well who was Keith to deny this moment with another comment. 

“Wow, you really love yourself don’t you, maybe even as much as you love Allura, hmm?” Keith said wiping the smirk off of Shiros face and replace it with an unsteady facial expression and pink cheeks, but just seconds later comments of denial. 

“Hey! Stop that would you? You don’t even get to say shit, I see how you look at Lance” Shiro exclaimed hitting Keith’s shoulder making Keith flinch. But Keith didn’t care: Shiro had just suggested that he was _watching_ Lance, and Keith understood exactly what he meant, but that, was not true. He did _not watch_ Lance, he did _not_ glance at him like _that_ , he would never! Why the fuck would his brother think that. 

“What are you talking ‘bout!” Keith asked furrowing his eyebrows, he was getting mad, he’s body was burning already, with his hands in fists on his sides, nails starting to dig in to his skin, he was _not_ interested in _Lance_. 

“Hey, just saying, you guys are suspicious, even Lance is” Shiro said raising his hands in defense, taking a step back. Ruby just stood there watching the whole thing with unimpressed eyes. 

Wait, _Lance is too_? What did that mean? Keith relaxed his hands backing away a bit, but his eyes still on Shiro, trying to figure out what he meant, what he was referring to, what did he _think right now_?

”what?” Shiro asked bringing down his hands so that they could rest on his sides again, looking at Keith with questioning eyes. Then Keith realized what he was doing, of course Shiro didn’t mean anything like that, he would never, it was just a joke. 

With a quiet ‘nothing’ and a fake smirk, Keith started walking again, ignoring Shiros open mouth that was about to say something to then close again, and soon his brother was waking next to him again, the same silence fogging itself around them, but now Keith didn’t even know if he wanted it to be there. Well at least he had his cat beside him, assuring him that nothing really mattered with her tired, non caring lifestyle, and he was going to be back at the cabin soon enough anyways, having something distracting him from what Shiro had said. 


	5. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know there’s been a lot of chapters lately, because right now I’m really in to this story and it really motivates me with all your comments because DAMN, so much support. Just saying in the future it might take more time to get out chapters but don’t worry, this shit has just started.

Keith didn’t talk to him, fell even more silent when he was close, didn’t laugh at his jokes, didn’t give any type of response to his roasts, tried to be invisible the best that he could, but it was hard the way Lance was acting. 

They were all seated around the table, with plates filled with food in front of them (Hunks of course because he’s an amazing cook) and talking about something Pidge had done, apparently she had fallen in to the water during their little adventure and was now fucking mad, yelling at Hunk and Lance who were laughing in they’re seats. Keith didn’t say anything, just watched them all whilst they argued. It was just his second day here, and he was already ignoring people, fuck, the last week and he was probably going to be isolated in the cabin not eating anything, living off nut mixes and snickers, dying off dehydration. He had planned on ignoring Lance, he knew what good looks and funny humor did to him, it developed in to more than just friendliness, it became crushing, and the thought of crushing on Lance, someone so obviously straight, was humiliating, it was not okay for Keith’s mental health to know that he would _like_ someone like _him_. 

Keith glanced up at them all when the laughing had stopped and Pidge wasn’t yelling anymore (just grumpy with a pout on her face) to see Allura and Lance talking, or more importantly, Lance _winking_ at her, while pointing _finger guns_ in her direction, _fucking finger guns._ Shiros smile faltered a bit but as Allura rolled her eyes and turned to Shiro instead his face lit up. Lance made an expression as if he was truly upset but just laughed it off after Hunk had started chuckling at him, Pidge making a joke about how Lance got completely dissed and Lance answered with a pout pasting itself on his face. Why didn’t _Keith_ get finger guns. 

With a sour face and empty mind he took another bite of his dinner. Why didn’t he get finger guns though? Did Lance really dislike him that much, that he didn’t even take notice of him? Maybe he wasn’t cool or funny enough for Shiros friends? Even Pidge got fucking finger guns and winks from Lance, even if she just ignored them she got them, and Lance wasn’t even _interested_ in her, but still _Keith_ didn’t get them. Or who knew, maybe he did like Pidge, with his stupid Straight sexuality. 

Keith took another bite, and soon his plate was empty, just like everyone else’s. The conversations were still going on of course but Keith didn’t want to be apart of them, so he decided he should leave, fast, before his brother or anyone else decided that Keith would like to be apart of a boring ass conversation about who knew what. 

“Uhm, I’m pretty tired, I’m gonna... go to bed” Keith said as he stood up, all eyes turning to him, exept Lance’s, they were staring down at the plate in front of him, _wow_. 

With that and a couple of ‘good night’s’ he left, not looking back, not noticing Lance looking up at him with longing eyes, staring over him as he stepped out on the porch, breathing in deep to try and calm his nerves. 

***

Keith hovered his pen over the paper, his other hand scratching behind the cat on his side’s ear, listening to the silence whilst taking a look out of the window, admiring the tres that started getting darker and darker. The cat on his side purred loud and he got back to reality, dragged his pen over the paper in fast movements, starting to lose himself in the drawing, stopping for a bit to take a sip of the tee standing on his nightstand. 

Four long weeks was he going to spend here, having to socialize with his brother, his stunning crush (soulmate really,) a sassy nerd, a red haired (pretty gay) man, one big friendly heart and that obnoxiously loud, annoying, hot, funny guy.

The sun on the paper was done. 

Well, he just had to survive it, it couldn’t be that hard could it? No, it couldn’t, he just had to get used to it, although in just three days they were going hiking with tents, and Keith already knew he wasn’t going to share a tent with Lance, he was sleeping with Pidge, wich was a lot better since she was probably going to leave him be. 

The forest surrounding the sunset in his sketchbook was starting to look acceptable. 

They were going to be walking up the hill near the cabins, taking the swirling path in the direction away from the lake, they were going to have to walk for a couple of hours, and then they were going to set up their tents, put up a fire at the fireplace they knew were up there, and then just chill... Keith hopefully getting to be alone.

The lion in the forest’s eyes Keith started sketching next, the burning red body figure and head already done. The eyes were always the hardest things to get on paper though.

But that wasn’t until three days, in three days? He needed to stay away from Lance, just, don’t care and not get affected or anything when he was near; talking, joking, flirting with Allura, just _being_ , and Keith just had to not give a shit. Yeah, that sounded good. 

Finally, it was done, the sunset in the sky looked just like he’d wanted it to, the greenery closing around the sky like a frame making it look prettier, and the lion sitting calm and proud on the cliff burning red in the sun just like Keith always made the female lion in his pictures, she had become some kind of a symbol for his red, burning personality, it was actually his brother that had pointed out the lion in one of his pictures and said it had felt like a good picturing of Keith himself. Though he hadn’t succeeded with the eyes. 

Keith jumped as the door swung open with a Hunk and a Lance walking in mid-conversation, scaring Ruby to the point that she gave Keith a death stare to then jump down on the floor and go chill in the corner. Keith looked up at the two, putting his sketchbook aside, staring up at them while placing his hands on his stomach, letting them rest there to see if someone was going to react to the fact that he was actually there. 

“Hey Keith” Hunk said to him with a happy smile as he started fixing his shower supplies for the next day. Keith said a distant ‘hi’ back and moved his gaze to Lance next, who didn’t look at him, and Keith knew Lance could see his eyes burning holes in his skull, but he still avoided his stare, and just kept talking about his fucking useless shit with Hunk, taking out one more of his identical stupid shirts out of the drawer beside his bed. 

“...hey Hunk, do you remember Laurel?” Lance asked Hunk out of the blue, and Hunk looked at him like he was going to kill him. “Yeah, Lance, I remember Laurel, she’s my fricking cousin, you forget that part?” Hunk said looking at Lance with confused eyes, like this was something they didn’t talk about, like ever, but Keith didn’t know why. 

“Yeah, might have suppressed that part - anyways, remember when we were together - she was so nice you know” Lance said with dreamy eyes, still not looking at Keith, who was shifting uncomfortably in his seat on the bed, was he talking about exes, and not just any ex, Hunks cousin, who was this guy?

“Dude, she cheated on you for three months, you were fucking heartbroken, and now you think she’s _nice_?” Hunk said with an even more confused look, and Lance just didn’t care. 

“Yeah, well it was nice before I figured it out, I at least had you and Allura there to pick up the pieces... lucky Shiro” now Hunk stopped with his shower supplies completely to look up at Lance with furrowed eyebrows. He opened his mouth to say something but close it again as Lance looked back at him with a careless expression. Keith stood up from the bed trying to catch Lance’s attention, even if he probably shouldn’t. Didn’t Lance know that Allura was with Shiro now!? Didn’t he know how wrong it sounded what he was saying!? Even Hunk seemed confused, and he hung out with Lance, like, every day. 

“O-Kay Lance” Hunk said with a quiet tone, turning back to his stuff with raised eyebrows like he couldn’t give more shits. But Keith, Keith gave a shit. He was desperately trying to find Lance’s eyes and Hunk noticed, but Lance just wouldn’t look at him, he just didn’t care. Keith snorted and laughed it off as he started to pack up his shower supplies as well, but as he did Lance finally turned to him. 

“What?” Lance asked as him he hadn’t noticed how irritated Keith had been from the beginning, and that made Keith even more upset. 

“Nothing” he said through gritted teeth, raising his eyebrows like nothing was wrong, not looking at Lance but seeing his frustrated expression in the corner of his eye, so now he realized Keith existed huh?

”oh, because you think I’m going to believe that” Lance said just as irritated as Keith felt, taking off his shirt putting it on the drawer beside his bed as he was going to bed as soon as possible. Hunk seated on his bed not wanting to get in to the disagreement. 

“It’s just - I don’t want to waste my time listening to you whine about your past relationships, mkay?” Keith said as he took off his shirt as well (mainly because he was also going to bed, but also to look a little bit cooler) to then look up at Lance with raised eyebrows and a tight shut jaw.  

“Oh, well I’m sorry you don’t want to hear me talk, but don’t I get to talk about what I want? Or - is that not okay for your virgin-ass?” Lance said back with a lot of bite, that only made Keith angrier as he took a step forward towards Lance with his fists clenched at his sides.

”hey guys how about we calm-“

“What do you know about me, huh? I bet I’ve fucked more people than you, and I bet they enjoyed it more as well, probably more than Laurel did since she fucking cheated on you!” Keith almost yelled up in Lance’s face and suddenly everything fell silent. Lance didn’t say anything else, the furrowed eyebrows and burning eyes turned in to a clenched jaw and his blue eyes even more blue with an obvious blank layer, Hunk was quiet as well. Shit, he should not have said that. 

“Okay, sure, why not Keith” Lance said with a completely humorless laugh, backing away from Keith raising his hands in defense. “Sorry to upset the lion, thought you were a chill dude but guess I was wrong then” Lance said again, more like a question as he raised his eyebrows and laid down in bed without even bothering to take off his pants, just turning his towards the wall so that he wouldn’t have to look at Keith, pulling up the blanket so that it was just under his ears. 

Keith’s fists clenched, hard, before he let go and let his arms rest calmly on his sides, the burning fire immediately ceacing as he saw Lance’s eyes, threatening to leave tears, god, why did he always do this. Keith shifted weight between his legs as he watched Lance laying in his bed, everything quiet. He hated what he did, whenever someone made him angry he always went to far, and just fuvked things up. 

“Sorry” he said, defeated, but still stern and like it was a professional matter, but really, he felt guilty, and as he went behind the wall to his bed he had to close his eyes and bite his lips to not get even angrier at himself. With no more thinking about it, he took off his shorts and laid down in his bed, putting his headphones in his ears so that he didn’t have to think, and soon after, he fell into sleep. 


	6. Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so sometimes I really want to write and then sometimes I just want to be social and like do actual good shit that will help in the future, like actually studying for a test. So this chapter is probably pretty boring, I intended this to be a lot longer but there’s gonna be shit happening at this camping spot so I just didn’t want to rush it and just wanted to post a chapter so that you guys actually had something new from this story to read. Lucky me though, soon starts Christmas break and I’ll have more time to write.

“Should we wake him up?”

”Nah, he probably wants to sleep in - he’ll... wake up by himself”

“O-kay, guess he will-”

”-Of course he will, let’s just go” 

That’s what Keith woke up to, Lance convincing Hunk that they should leave for the showers without him whilst Keith pretended to still be asleep to avoid the awkward encounter. It was his fourth day here now, in two days it was going to be a week, a quarter of how long he was gonna have to get along with Lance, and it was already going down hill. 

They avoided each other completely, when they saw each other both of them just backed away, they hadn’t gone to bed at the same time either, so that they could spend even less time together, during meals they only said small words to each other, giving small glances in the others direction and sometimes meeting eyes, Lance with a pout and knitted eyebrows, Keith with his usual ‘don’t give a fuck’ expression. It wasn’t his fault Lance was so hung up on this chick, and really if he felt so much for her then why the fuck did he talk about her in front of a guy he’d only known for two days, it was stupid, and it wasn’t even Keith’s fault! It can’t have been, right? Right, it was just Lance who had to keep his emotional mess to himself since it wasn’t anyone else’s business, especially not Keith’s who certainly didn’t want it becoming his business. The worst part was that he still felt guilty either way, he always did when he didn’t have the answer, so when he desperately wanted the answer he just got selfish, and it sucked. 

When he was sure both Lance and Hunk was gone and not coming back, Keith sat up in the bad to then put his feet on the wooded floor, starting to choose clothes for the day.

He wasn’t good with people, he had never been, being in the foster system since he was fifteen, not having anyone to trust, love, sure did a number on him. The closets he could come to trust was his brother, who knew his whole story, not just in general, like how many foster families he’d stayed with or what grades he had gotten, but everything, in detail, that was mostly the reason he’d wanted to stay with with his parents, because of Shiro, and he did get adopted, and he loved his mom, and his dad, but Shiro knew every story. His brother knew all the mistakes, every step he had taken wrong, that girls heart he had broken in eight grade, the fights he had gotten into since he had anger issues and people thought he was weird, Shiro knew it all, and every time Keith had worried about what his brother would think, what he would say if he’d tell him all his experiences, and every goddamn time his brother had said it was _okay_. 

He started organizing his shower supplies, grabbing a towel to bring with him, staring at the picture he’d drawn the other day, staring at the lion. 

And Lance was Shiros friend, he had to get along with him, and sure Shiro had warned him about Lance’s teasing and all but he had told Keith other things as well. Like the time with the bullied kid, and about Lance’s big family back at Cuba, and how Lance had gotten himself arrested when he was drunk from stealing a siren from a cop car, running around with it over his head, and then of course getting out of there with his charm. And Keith didn’t know that, Shiro had told him, but not Lance, and it was Lance’s story. Keith wasn’t mad at Shiro, the stories weren’t that special and Shiro had told them to Keith because he trusted him, he just, wanted to hear _Lance_ tell them to him, wanted it to be _Lance_ to talk to _him_. But that was already to late, Lance obviously hated him, didn’t even give him fucking finger guns that he supposedly, according to Shiro, gave everyone after just one day, but not _fucking_ _Keith_. 

With that thought, Keith picked up his bag from the floor, Ruby right behind him as he walked trough the door next, soon on his way to the showers, at least he was going to have them for himself this day. 

***

”I literally didn’t get any sleep of some sort, at all, like nothing, and you’re saying we have to start walking right after breakfast?” Pidge said with raised eyebrows and an outworn voice from her seat at the table, taking a break from her breakfast as Shiro had, with a very determined voice, informed everyone at the table that they were going to have to walk all day to get to this place, and start going right after breakfast. 

“Yes Pidge, if we don’t go exactly at the right time we will miss the beautiful sunset! And you know how beautiful the sunset is from there” Coran cut in with his normal high pitched voice, sounding both upset and disappointed with Pidge, who muttered a ‘I know’ as an answer with a pout. 

Keith opened his mouth to say something but abruptly forgot what it was as he noticed Lance staring at him from the other side of the table, burning holes in his skull, but as Keith stared back at him, locking eyes, the boy’s eyes went wide and cheeks getting redder as he shuffled in his seat awkwardly and broke the eye contact with a quiet caugh. What— was that? Who knew, Keith just remembered his question. 

“Uhm, what does this camping spot have exactly, like, what do we need to bring with us?” Keith asked looking over to Shiro avoiding Corans exited eyes because, honestly, they kind of scared him. 

“Oh, there’s a fireplace, good ground for tents, aaaaand - Yeah, that was about it” Shiro said with a smile and raised eyebrows. Well, seemed like they were going to have to bring with them a lot of things, like the whole cabin maybe? See, Keith was not an outdoor person, he loved it of course, it was beautiful and peaceful but he didn’t get to experience it to often so just walking out in the forest, to some place without everything he always had, was a bit - un-nerving, to say the least, a special experience you could say. 

“O-Kay... well let’s eat then” Keith said even though he gave his opinion about it to Shiro trough a death stare, who the man visible ignored like he was completely innocent, that mother fucker. 

***

Obviously, the breakfast had been as awkward as ever between him and Lance, and especially since Lance, during the whole meal, had sent him longing glances from time to time, and each time Keith had stared back into his eyes, the boy had averted his gaze, going back to his usual grin and his joking with the rest of the group and flirtations with Allura. And Keith truly didn’t understand, Lance had avoided him, big time, and Keith had just went along with it, didn’t want to spill more salt in old wounds. But now, Keith wasn’t so sure that Lance really wanted him to back up, he was breaking the rules of his own game, and it frustrated Keith more than he thought it would. So now that they were walking up the mountain, backpacks hanging from their shoulders with necessary survival stuff for the two days they were going to stay up there, Keith was tired, tiered of this place, and tiered of Lance, and his games, that for a fact didn’t even make sense! So he was walking with Shiro the furthest back in the line they had created: Lance, Pidge and Hunk in  front, Allura and Coran in the middle, all of them settled in conversations. Exept for him and Shiro, who kept it silent. 

Until it wasn’t.

”A week huh, how are you liking it so far?” Shiro cut through the silence between them, making it even more awkward because of how he was obviously in a bad mood. Keith had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes and just ignore Shiro, but he couldn’t do that, he just had to act like it was all fucking amazing, because a trip with random people (especially that irritating Cuban boy) was such an amazing idea, truly. 

“How do you think it is so far?” Keith turned the question around, wanting to make it more obvious for Shiro to just back off by looking at him, but keeping his eyes forward, staring blankly at the ground as they kept walking. 

“Hey look, I know Lance can be kind of an ass but he’s just like that in the beginning, soon he’ll stop with this bickering he entertains himself with and start to treat you like everyone else here” Shiro said like he knew exactly what he was talking about, like this was something normal Lance always did and had happened numerous times before. If it had been three days ago, Keith would have believed in Shiro, but thing was that, he was wrong, Lance wasn’t bickering him, wasn’t betting with him, wasn’t picking on him, no, Lance was ignoring him, the boys smile falling to a pout by just looking at Keith, not even talking to him, and Keith really wished Shiro was right, that Lance was acting as he was supposed to act, but he wasn’t, wich meant Keith was some extremely rare exeption, that Lance probably _hated_. 

Keith muttered as he tried to think of an acceptable explanation to the fact that Lance was in fact _not_ , acting the way Shiro was describing, that he did first but then stopped as soon as Keith had said those things about his love life but still, Lance didn’t seem angry or sad, just kind of... confused, and irritated. As he looked down at Ruby walking beside him for a brief moment, she looked just as bitter as he felt, probably didn’t want to walk up a mountain for a whole day and actually use her energy, lazy ass cat. 

”He did, treat me like everyone else here for a while... but then we started fighting about some Laurel because I didn’t want to hear about his love life and now... he’s just ignoring me” Keith said after a while in an hesitant voice, not really knowing if it was a good idea, and when he finally looked up at Shiro who hadn’t said anything more, Keith mentally slapped himself because it looked like he’d said the completely wrong thing. 

“Is he angry with you” Shiro said with furrowed brows meeting Keith’s eyes like he was just as confused as Keith was... did this like - not happen that often?

”Noo... at least I don’t think so - he seems more - like... confused, and irritated - at something” Keith asked with even more hesitation than from the first time he opened his mouth to bring up the subject. 

Shiro opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it to look over at Lance walking in front of them with the same confused look pasted on his face. Lance looked completely normal as he smirked and laughed at Hunks jokes, not down or weird at all, and now Keith knew this wasn’t normal, if not even Shiro, Lance’s friend, recognized this side of him then something must be seriously wrong with Keith. 

“Well... I could talk to him - ask if there’s anything-“ Shiro started as he looked over at Keith again, but was quickly interrupted. 

“-No! No that wouldn’t help - Lance can do what he wants, he’s his own person” Keith muttered quietly trying to push away the irritation of the fact that Lance wasn’t _Lance_ when he was with Keith. 

“Sure”


	7. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I just realized in my previous chapters you haven’t really gotten to know that Keith is, in fact, a mysterious hot bad-boy at his school and in his neighborhood, so I just wanted to point that out here since I did forget to do so in previous chapters, hehe sorry. Oh and this chapter is also a bit longer than the last one.

“How do you even do this shit” Keith muttered irritatedly to himself as he turned the steel-stick in his hands, trying to understand what to do with it but forever failing. How was he even supposed to know how to set up tents!? He had moved from foster home to foster home, literally no one of the ‘parents’ had loved him enough to take him camping, there was even one time when he was twelve that his contemporary foster parents had left him alone for three days so that they could go camping with their biological daughter without him, those three days had sucked.  

“You stuck Keith?” A voice behind him uttered, making him turn towards the short girl with raised eyebrows pasted on her face, the question making him wish he was anywhere but there. 

“Yes I am, I’ve never set up a tent okay? So can you just - could you _help_ me?” Keith asked avoiding Pidge’s eyes as he gestured awkwardly with his arms, waving the stick all around, making Pidge back away a bit, raising her arms in front of her face to protect herself from getting smacked with it. Keith didn’t ask for help, like _ever._  He was awkward, he didn’t do _this_. 

“Sure, as long as you stop moving your arms like that, I don’t wanna die by that stick piercing through my body, mkay?” Pidge answered with her eyes stuck on the stick in Keith’s hands, but as he lowered it she breathed out a sigh and took a step closer to then grab the it. 

“Look, this goes here, you get it?” Pidge said like it was the simplest thing in the world whilst she grabbed another stick from the ground, connecting the two of them so that they now were one long stick, that Keith had no idea what to do with. He could feel Pidge’s eyes searching his for an answer, but Keith only met hers with confusion and furrowed eyebrows. He could see she was temped to roll her eyes at him but she held it back and just waved it off. 

“Want me to take care of it?”

”...Yeah - that’ll probably be the best option”

“...So, you don’t really seem like the person to know how to set up tents” Keith stated more like a question awkwardly after a while of just standing there stiff behind Pidge as she had started working on the tent, Keith had received a hinting look from Shiro who was sitting by the fireplace packing up stuff, his brother obviously telling him this was the moment to socialize with a subtle nick off his head. Keith had given him a death glare, but Shiro had answered with one so he figured it couldn’t hurt to much to at least try. 

“Oh, the boy speaks, after a week? Damn” Pidge exclaimed with a sarcastic smirk pasted on her lips, Keith just huffed, stuffing his hands in his pockets, avoiding Pidge’s eyes ones more by staring down at his shifting feet. 

“I learned how to set up tents on one of these camping trips, the first one we made - you know, you should feel honored to be here, not everyone has the luck to get to go on a camping trip with Shiro, this means a lot to him” The girl said as she turned back to her work. Keith huffed again, a little chuckle of insecurity escaping him, he knew good and well how much it meant to his brother. 

“Yeah, I know. And honestly - I don’t think I deserve it - except for the Lance part, he I could live without with his irritating ass” Keith exclaimed putting some extra power into his words about Lance and smirking at the comment. Pidge just turned her head towards him for a little moment, a smirk on her lips as well. 

“Yeah, Lance is Lance, you can’t change it - and I gotta say - sometimes, no matter how much I love him, you are right, he is an irritating ass” 

Keith chuckled a bit at that before it became awkward and silent again, but right when he was going to say goodbye to Pidge she opened her mouth again. “What did you even do these past days, we were wondering where you were since you weren’t with us - you know it felt kinda weird since everything seemed to be fine before?” Pidge asked with furrowed eyebrows, not looking at Keith but instead keeping her focus on fixing the tent. 

“I didn’t do anything to exiting... what did you guys do?” Keith answered while looking back at Shiro, reminding himself that Shiro wanted him to talk, to engage in conversations, so he asked a question as well. 

“We just hung out, catching up a bit with each other, we swam in the lake - Lance did so at least three times every day - and oh yeah-“ Pidge had to cut herself off to laugh and turn around to lock eyes with Keith. “-Coran got so fucking mad when Lance and him started arguing about the best way to make chocolate chip cookies, god it was hilarious” Pidge chuckled with a smile, Keith smirked as well. She was fun, yeah, he decided that now, she was cool. “Well, I’m sure as hell sad I missed that, I can imagine it would have been beautiful” Keith muttered with a smirk. “Oh, it was” Pidge answered with another smile, turning her attention back to the tent. 

Then it got quiet again and it made Keith awkwardly shift weight between his feet, and when he couldn’t handle it anymore he waved towards her a little awkwardly, to then turn around, walk over to Shiro. His brother was sitting on a log beside the fireplace, having a small talk with Coran, once again, just like a couple days ago, he could here the word ‘party’ several times, but when they noticed him they fell silent to look up at him, smiles forming on their faces. 

“Hello Keith, how are you liking it here?” Coran asked with excitement, looking up at Keith from where he was sitting on another log.

“It’s-um... it’s nice” Keith answered without any direction or structure in the sentence, no fucking clue how to please peoples minds. He sent Shiro a desperate glare that signalized ‘help me this is really fricking awkward and I don’t know how to do this.’ He sent those glares to his brother a lot of times so it wasnt weird that his brother understood them. 

“Hey Coran, do you think you could go get some water from the stream?” Shiro interrupted Keith and Corans awkward tension, and lucky for Keith, Coran applied happily and soon he was on his way towards the stream nearby. Keith seated himself beside Shiro with a relived ‘tank you’ and it wasn’t long before Shiro started talking. 

“It’s no problem, so did you talk to Pidge then?” Shiro asked looking up at Keith with hopeful eyes. His brother really wanted him to socialize a bit to much for his liking, and it would probably disappoint him to know that Keith, in almost a whole week, had barely talked to anyone, except for Lance who was now mad at him because he had talked shit about his love life. 

”What did you talk about?” Shiro asked again right after the first question, not noticing how Keith had opened his mouth to answer, but Keith just brushed it off.

“Not much - just that I’m lucky to be here I guess - and she also, thinks Lance is an asshole at times wich he is” Keith answered casually, smirking at the Lance-part. Shiro just smiled.

“Have you talked to him?” Shiro asked, looking over to Hunk and Lance who were trying to set up their tent on the other side of the camping spot, they couldn’t hear what they were saying but it looked like Lance was mad at Hunk for placing something wrong.

“I haven’t really talked to anyone, Shiro” Keith muttered to his brother in a quiet tone as he, as well, glanced over to Lance and Hunk, Lance now doing all the work and Hunk walking off to his backpack seated against a tree nearby to pick up two chocolate bars. Then he went back to Lance, giving him one, he took it with an irritated facial expression but he clearly appreciated it since he soon started smiling again.

“But you do what you always do don’t you: avoid everyones questions and don't involve yourself in conversations, but examine everyone, and you see how they act and what they think?” Shiro questioned with concerned eyes, trying to catch Keith’s eyes but not getting a hold of them. Shiro was right, Keith knew that, but he didn’t mean to be that way, he just was, it was like he was going on autopilot constantly, not talking to understand, but spectating instead. He was too scared to trust and love and be a part of something that he would rather be the spectator, the lone wolf. It hurt, but it would hurt more if he opened up, Shiro was the only one that understood him and it scared him, Shiro could manipulate him whenever he felt like it, but the reason Keith loved him was because he never did. 

“-yeah” Keith answered, feeling too guilty to look at Shiro, he shouldn’t be like this, he wanted to be a part of something, just for his brother. 

“Please, now you can do what you want but could you pleeeease hang out with us tonight? We’re going to have a fire, roast marshmallows, tell horror stories-“ Shiro tried to convince him with a hopeful tone, gesturing with his arms trying to make Keith exited and up for it.

”-there will be alcohol?” Shiro said more as a question to Keith, tilting his head and raising his eyebrows trying to get a reaction out of his brother. Keith finally turned his face towards Shiro, looking like he would consider it.  

“Fine - but don’t expect to much” Keith answered, reassuring Shiro not to get too excited since he probably wasn’t going to talk that much, listening more, drink from his bear, and maybe, just maybe, tell a horror story so scary Lance would dream a nightmare about it. The thought made Keith smirk, the fact that Lance had been so angry had had a negative affect on his mood, and it was time for him to go back to his usual self: irritated, stubborn, cold and absolutely-completely-not-giving-a-single-fuck-Keith, he was going to be that guy. The mysterious bad boy (with amazing grades though) who had every girl running after him, trying to open him up and make him theirs. Of course they never succeeded since not one of them knew a shit about him having a cat, nothing about his interests, and the only thing they knew about his childhood was rumours going around the school. Everyone thought he had this cool life outside of college, but really he was just some nerd playing FPS games and exercising only because he thought it was fun and not for muscles, sure, sometimes he would go out and find a nice one-night-stand but really, he was lonely. The thing was that Lance had hurt him when he had gotten sad and Keith knew it was his fault, wich was not a good sign for Keith’s well-being, it was not a good sign when someone he just knew off of analyzing made him lose his game. And it honestly had just made him even more closed off to the people here, and it surprised him they were still being nice and considering his opinions even if he almost hadn’t said a word to any of them the five days he had hung out with them. It was time to actually make an impression.

***

It had been about two hours or so when Keith was pulled out of the tent (Pidge had fixed it all, Keith avoiding work completely) to go sit by the fire that was already burning: hot and red against the dark shadows. Keith had talked a bit with Shiro and when Hunk came up to them (Lance gave them glances but didn’t end up joining Hunk, instead he went over to Coran and Allura) he had had a pretty nice conversation with both of them, but when both Pidge and Coran had joined he had left with Ruby (discreetly) to go sketch on a cliff nearby, not to far away from the others, but he couldn’t hear or see them.

The cliff there truly had been something though: a perfect view of the forest they had walked through to their way here, the pine tops looking like small, individual mountains on their own, the lake they had been staying beside the previous days shining in the sunsets light, the whole scene orange and yellow and the sky painted with pink clouds, like someone had splattered cotton candy over the sky.

Keith had drawn an enormous monster surrounded by cotton candy clouds, placed like a mountain on the ground, it’s feet covered by pine trees. He liked it.

And Coran had been right about the sunset, it truly had been beautiful, especially from where Keith had been sitting on a cliff without anything in the way of the amazing view. But whilst he had enjoyed it he had also, in the back off his mind, thought about how it would have been to enjoy the sunset with all the others who had probably been looking at the same view as him in that exact moment. Would he have enjoyed it? He didn’t really know, these people seemed a lot nicer than the people at his college who only saw him as an object, they weren’t bullying him, but it tiered him to always have people looking up at him like he was some god when he really wasn’t, it felt nice to get a break with these people, and honestly, it made him want to hang out with them more, take advantage of the camping trip, but did he really want to, or was he just confused? He didn’t know, but right now he couldn’t care less, as Shiro dragged him out of the tent’s safety to the dangerous social people around the fire. 

“Mullet, you decided to join us, how amazing” Lance uttered in an ironic voice holding up his bear in Keith’s direction to greet him. Keith gave him a deathstare as he sat down beside Shiro, Pidge handing him a bear from the other side of the fire. Keith took it happily. At least Lance seemed to be in a good mood, like he had completely forgotten about the incident three days ago. 

“Nice to see you man” Hunk said in Keith’s direction with his signature Hunk-smile (tm) and a friendly tone like, he also, had forgotten about the fact that Keith had fought with his best friend. Everyone else also seemed to be fine, all their eyes were happy and commforting and not at all like Keith had ignored them all from the start of this trip. Except for Lance’s of course, he looked like his normal ignorant self with his signature Lance-smirk and his Lance-pose with his Lance-clothes. 

“Okay so look buddy - I don’t really know you so it’s not okay for me to be angry with you, and yeah, I might have, maybe, even if it’s super unusual, acted wrong. So we cool?” Lance asked like it was no big deal at all, his eyes locked with Keith’s, raised eyebrows and tilded head, wanting to hear what Keith had to say about it. 

“Yeah - we’re cool” Keith answered seriously, but soon got a smirk pasted on his face. “Although that doesn’t mean the game is over, you’re still obnoxious” Keith stated with raised eyebrows and a smirk, looking up at Lance through his bangs as he was sitting tilted over his thighs with his elbows placed on his knees. His smirk showing teeth as Lance’s mouth turned thin and his cheeks turning a light color of pink, his eyes averting trying to recover by laughing it off. He was cute. 

Everyone else seemed to relax immediately after the tension between Lance and Keith disappeared, finally it seemed to settle, Keith finally felt like the awkward tension between them all disappeared so that he didn’t feel as uncomfortable and outed as before. Now he was _finally_ a part of the group, a little at least. 

“So okay, it’s finally time for the annual marshmallow-grilling-competition - and yes - we all know Allura won last year but let’s forget about that because it’s time for me to kick your guys asses”  Lance said to break the silence and bring them all back to reality, pointing at them all indicating that it was their asses that would get kicked, he pointed at Keith as well. 

“Oh hell no, it’s my time to win okay” Pidge uttered like she was offended by Lance’s words. 

“Guys, guys chill, no offense - but we all know I’m the one who’s gonna win” Hunk stated confidently, Pidge huffing in response and Lance giving an ‘oh yeah’ as he reached for the plastic bag containing the marshmallows, but Coran got a hand on it before him. 

“I have learned the specific way to get the perfect marshmallow during years of training, you amateurs know nothing” Coran stated with even more confidence than Hunk as he opened the plastic bag to take out a marshmallow, inspecting it closely. 

“I’ll just do what I do best” Allura said as she stole the bag right out of Corans grasp, Coran yelping at the unexpected loss. She took out her own marshmallow and put it on the stick that she had already prepared. 

“I love you Allura but it’s seriously time for me to show off ma skills if you know what I’m sayin’” Lance declared with a smirk winking at Allura, who only rolled her eyes, passing the bag to Shiro next, who took it with a smile. 

“Let’s not get too riled up should we? It’s just a game after all” Shiro uttered as he calmly grabbed a marshmallow for himself. 

“Excuse e moi? This is life or death Shiro, you should take this as seriously as it is” Lance said with a fake-offended tone, putting one hand on his chest to really show off how ‘hurt’ he felt.

“Well in that case, I’m winning” Shiro chuckled, putting his marshmallow on his own stick, then passing the bag over to Keith, who was taken by surprise but took it happily, reaching down in the bag.

“Well, I ain’t backing down from a challenge”

***

By the end of it all, Allura won, Hunk came second, and Coran third, both Lance and Pidge managed to burn their marshmallows whilst arguing about who’s marshmallow was going to be the best one, and Shiro’s and Keith’s turned out fine. The sun was now completely gone, the sky a dark shade off blue and the night air a bit chillier than before, they all knew the sun would come back in just a couple of hours but for now only the moon and the fire lighted up the place. Although that was not the only thing different: during the marshmallow-competition everyone around the fire had had their own fair share of alcohol, Shiro, Allura, Coran and Hunk a bit less, but still affected by it. Lance and Pidge though, had maybe had a bit more than they could handle; both of them with big grins and flushed cheeks, slurring out words and babbling on and on about nothing in-particular. It was quite a sight for someone like Keith who hadn’t seen any of them like this before. 

Coran was having an energetic conversation with Hunk about space theories -like aliens-, Shiro was sitting next to Allura with his arm around her and a blanket covering them both from the chilly air, both of them flushing madly, Keith was flushed as well but because of the alcohol and not young love, enjoying the company a lot, and Pidge was telling a horror story. Allura, Hunk and Shiro had already told one of their own. 

“And after that - uh - he was never found - haha-he - just like Lance’s non-existing girlfriend” Pidge ended her story with, grinning at Lance who was frowning at her like ‘did you really have to say that’ but after that he smiled as well, not able to not appreciate the joke. Keith chuckled, bringing his hand up to his forehead to rub circles at his brow, not knowing if he had a headache or was just overwhelmed, overstimulated, maybe he was _just_ _drunk_. 

When he tilted up his head again Lance was looking straight at him with a smug smile, showing his perfect teeth, his legs crossed and elbow resting on his knee, hand on his chin, on finger playing with his bottom lip, still staring at Keith. Lance seemed like one of those people who were happy while drunk, but of course he was, how else would he be. 

“Okay, mkay - I think ’s time foa me to tell a howor story that all of you guys have heard bu’ since Keith ‘s new he need ‘o hear it” Lance slurred out, still with his eyes pasted on Keith, his grin never faltering. 

“What story are you referring to?” Shiro asked with a confused smile, giving Lance a questioning look, it didn’t seem like anyone had any idea of what story Lance was talking about. 

“You don’ remember, well lemme tell you then” Lance started, turning to Shiro and Allura, giving them the same grin. 

“Well - hmrg-“ Lance coughed “-Once upon a time there was a boy, his name was Lance - yeah, that’ his name - and this Lance - all you guys-“ Lance pointed to them all, everyone looking equally confused. “-Lance had a secret -Okay- Lance had a secret that was bad, it was not a good thing, that his secret was, it was not -cool- it was weird - and once upon a time, last Christmas actually-“ Lance continued, Keith didn’t know what the story was supposed to be about yet but it seemed like everyone else did, but it didn’t seem good, all their expressions turned worried, just like when Lance had been upstairs alone for some reason. “-Well, last Christmas Lance was found in an -hm- awkward situation with a person and his dad -yeah he’ dad- walked in at that -and you wanna know what he did- he-he yelled - and he got mad-“ the smirk from Lance’s face disappeared and was replaced by watering eyes trying to hold back tears, everyone else was frozen, Keith still didn’t get what was happening. “-And then -even worse- his dad talked shit behind his back -ya know- things Lance wasn’t supposed to hear- but he did, in that fucking grocery store, and it hurt, so bad. And at dinner that evening -oh, that’ when shit happen- at dinner, Lance’s abuela tells him he’s sick -and he is- Lance is sick - and it was wrong- but he won’t stop -it won’t stop!” Lance’s cheeks was now covered in tears, new ones falling from his eyes repeatedly. And he opened his mouth to say more but before he could Hunk and Allura had raised themselves from their places, walking over to Lance, Hunk putting his hands on Lance’s shoulders to then close them around his trembling body, hugging him tightly, whispering something in his ear. Then him and Allura brought Lance away from the scene, both of them with one of their hands placed firmly on one of Lance’s shanking shoulders. What had happened, Keith was speechless, what had Lance been talking about? 

“Uhm -Katie could you- could you put out the fire and I’ll go see how it’s going for them” Shiro murmured quietly, rubbing his forehead like he was also trying to take in what had just happened. Pidge quickly nodded and grabbed one bucket to go off to the stream, Coran looked concerned and told them all that he was going to bed, not wanting to disturb Lance since he probably wouldn’t want to much attention. 

“You can go sleep Keith, we will - we’ll take care of it okay?” Shiro told him with a confused and tiered voice, and Keith didn’t want to disturb Lance either so he just nodded, standing up on wobbly legs to start walking back to him and Pidge’s tent. 

***

What had happened, why had Lance started yelling, crying? What had he even been talking about? Keith didn’t get it, maybe he was too drunk, or maybe he was just stupid, but he just didn’t get it. Lance had seemed so happy and then poof: crying, yelling, emotions overflowing so much it hurt Keith to watch, it had made his eyes water but right now he didn’t know what it meant, if it even meant anything. He just wanted Lance to be okay, he wished - he wished Lance was happy-drunk.

He wished he had Ruby here comforting him but he knew she couldn’t be in the tent, him and Pidge wouldn’t be awake if she wanted to go out an take care of her needs, and she sure as hell wasn't going to do it in here. But he still wished she was purring by his side.  

Keith jumped as the zipper started moving with a - loud sound for his sensitive ear cells - Pidge crawling inside to then turn around and bring the zipper down to the ground again. Keith, who was laying on his back, eyes staring up in the ceiling of the tent (?) propped himself up on his elbows to look at Pidge, his facial expression stale but his mind scared, and confused. 

“What happened to Lance?” He asked before Pidge could do anything, not wanting to wait for her to say something or even worse, go to sleep like nothing had happened. She let out a sigh and started talking. 

“Look, I wish I could tell you - but this is something Lance is still dealing with so I don’t want to say something on his behalf, if he doesn’t want you to know, I shouldn’t tell you. And if he does -well- then he will tell you” Pidge assured him with a tiered tone, her eyebrows furrowed and expression serious, she was squatting in front of him with her hands hanging loosely over her crouching legs. She looked tiered, he should let her sleep. 

“Okay” Keith simply said without any special meaning behind it, no secret message, just reassuring that he understood, that it was at least okay. 

“Night”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just to explain if you guys didn’t get it: what Lance was talking about was when (in the dirty laundry fic) his dad was talking shit about him behind his back, saying how it was wrong with a bi son, in this fanfic though, Lance isn’t bi, he’s gay, but you get what I’m sayin’. Lance also mentioned his homophobic grandma. And the whole deal with why I took the Christmas scene from that fanfic is because when Lance, that Christmas, had to deal with both his dad and his grandma, he had to do it alone since he didn’t know Keith at the time. I just wanted to point that out there for the people who haven’t read the dirty laundry fanfic. (Read it, it’s good)


	8. Birthmark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there’s a bit of angst in this just so you know, but not to the point were it like literally makes you feel down yourself.

Keith had fallen asleep pretty quickly, after Pidge had turned off the lamp, he had been out.

Then he had been too out of it to understand or care about what Lance had said around the fire, he hadn’t thought about what Lance had been meaning with his words, but as Keith had woken up with a horrible hangover, he remembered what had happened, and now he was actually starting to _think_.

 _Shit_ , his head was killing him, was he dying? No, no it was just what happened when you drank too much, why did he drink so much? Oh right, he needed to handle anxiety in some way, alcohol was one way. But there was more to is wasn’t it? _Lance_. What was it with Lance? Shit, the sun was too bright, he needed sleep. 

Keith stretched his back as he sat up in his sleeping bag, his eyes groggy, hair even messier than normal and his movements lazily, he had a hangover, a bad one. Keith turned his head towards his side and picked up his phone; 8:46, jeez, why hadn’t anyone woken him up, from how early people got out of bed on this camping trip it surprised him he wasn’t up yet, cooking food, or maybe having a boring conversation with his brother, pissing off Lance. 

 _Lance_ , he needed to speak to Lance, about what had happened last night, he had to tell him something. Or maybe he should leave it, he couldn’t decide, he didn’t even know what it was all about. First, he thought it was some kind of diagnosis like adhd or autism, but then he remembered how Lance had mentioned there had been another person that had pissed off his dad. On that note Keith figured Lance’s dad had probably caught him doing something sexual with a girl and thought of it as sinful, I mean if it is Lance you’re talking about, it was probably something with a girl. Maybe he’s parents were religious? Maybe they didn’t believe in sex before marriage? Well it barely mattered anyways, Keith and Lance weren't friends, they didn’t tell each other things, and Keith was not the type of person to try and win over people who didn’t want to get to know him. That was stupid, Keith wasn’t stupid. 

With another stretch of his back, Keith started changing out of his sleeping attire and putting on his normal outfit, it was hard since his head was pounding and he could only lay down or sit, but he managed. The sun was shining bright and hurt his eyes as he crawled out of the tent, placing a hand on the ground to keep himself steady, fuck. He was gonna fucking faint because of this fucking shit. 

“Morning sunshine -you look- Uhm” Shiro stuttered, looking away with furrowed brows trying to find an appropriate word to describe the situation.

”-shit” Pidge declared as she walked past them, no hesitation in her voice at all. “Language Pidge” Shiro said irritatedly with a pout, Pidge not caring as she walked away from the scene, Shiro turned to Keith again. 

“You look -kinda tired yeah, you’re pretty hungover aren’t you?” Shiro asked with concern, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, I -I probably shouldn’t have drank that much -Uhm- why didn’t you wake me up?” Keith slurred out, trying to make his mind up, it was working, but it was a slow process.

“We thought you could use the sleep” Shiro answered with a smile, hinting to the fact that Keith not just ‘could use it’ but fucking needed it with his whole body.

“Thanks” Keith said with a smile as well, his brain starting to get used to standing up, on solid ground. 

“Where’s Lance?” He asked without thinking. Shit, why did have to do that? Asking would just sound desperate, ugh, he was such a idiot. He could see it again Shiro as well with the way his brothers smile faltered and his eyes started wandering. 

“Lance is -Lance isn’t okay- but it doesn’t help him trying to feel concern, do you-?” Before he could even finish the sentence Keith had interrupted him. 

“Yeah, no I get it -it’s- I get it. I’ll just leave it” Keith reassured his brother with a smirk and hand gestures, it seemed to calm Shiro down. 

“Okay... well now you have to help Hunk with breakfast” Shiro said before he started walking away, but Keith took ahold off his arm stopping him.

”Why, can’t you just let me go this time?” Keith asked with pleading eyes, trying desperately to get his brother to spare him. 

“No Keith, you need to fucking socialize, I’m literally just helping you here” Shiro whispered with his I-Don’t-Give-A-Fuck voice in Keith’s face, not caring if he swore or not. 

“I know” Keith answered with a sour face, well, it was just to fucking socialize now wasn’t it?

***

”Keith, what are you doing?” Hunk asked with raised eyebrows as he had realized what Keith was doing and stopped with his own things. Keith didn’t know, he was trying to start a fire, it was going... less good than he probably wished. 

“How am I supposed to know how to do this -I’m not an outside person” Keith muttered back knotting his eyebrows together with a frustrated sigh. It was a lie, he loved being outside.

“Can you just -lemme’-Keith” Hunk tried to get Keith away from the disaster in front of him, Keith avoiding eye contact because of how useless he felt, but fuck it, he was gonna make it work. 

“No, I’ll get it” Keith assured Hunk whilst trying even harder to get it right, pushing Hunk asside with his elbow. 

“Fine, just don’t burn up the whole camp, would you?” Hunk asked from behind him. 

“Sure” Keith answered with a focused tone. Come on -Just fucking light. 

Keith knew Hunk was behind him, just waiting for Keith to give up, but Keith did not want to give him that satisfaction, nope, not happening. Keith was too stubborn for friends, never giving up... but maybe it was time to loosen up a bit, to give up for others? Maybe Hunk wouldn’t mention it? Maybe -maybe it’ll go smoth and he can just play it off? 

Keith pretended to try his hardest a bit more, but really he was trying to find the perfect moment to tell Hunk he’d given up. But apparently it wasn’t needed since the paper in the fireplace caught fire, he hadn’t had to tell Hunk anything, it actually felt kind of disappointing.

“Told you I’d get it” Keith exclaimed with a sideways grin, confident with the fact that he’d been right once again.

“Yup you did, now you can go get some water” Hunk said as he himself walked over to the fire, poking around in it with a stick to try and get some air into it.

Keith stood from his crouching position to go grab the big empty bottle standing beside Shiro, Allura and Corans tent. In there he knew Allura and Shiro were sitting, probably talking, but it was awkwardly quiet. Keith slowed down his steps when he got closer, trying not to make a sound so that he could here what they were talking about, because Shiro seriously needed to tell this girl about his feelings, or Keith would fucking lose his faith in humanity. 

Although when Keith was standing just outside the tent, it was still as quiet as before, no sounds at all. For a while he thought they were finally kissing each other like they should but there wasn’t even any movements from the tent, what were they doing? 

Keith crouched in front of the entrance: slowly, as to warn the people inside the tent, dragging down the zipper. When he could finally glance through into the small space where two people were sitting, a small smirk pasted itself on his lips. Shiro and Allura were sitting just inches apart, faces pink and lips parted, their hands were connected, fingers laced over the others. 

“Hello there brother, I was just gonna go get some water but it seemed weirdly quiet so I thought I’d -‘check in.’ Now that I see everything’s fine I’ll just -leave you two to it.” Keith said innocently with a constant smirk, enjoying the faces of the people before him; pink, embarrassed, completely avoiding the awkward eye contact, wishing they weren’t even there in the first place. 

Shiro opened his mouth to say something to defend himself and so did Allura, but before they could say anything Keith waved his hand in front of himself, stopping them with small ‘no no -just continue like nothing happened’ and went out closing the tent behind him. The smirk never faltering. When he was standing straight again he chuckled slightly, smug smirk still playing on his lips, he loved being an irritating brother, oh this was something he would tease Shiro about for the rest of this camping trip, probably when it was over as well. 

Keith easily flipped the bottle in his hand whilst he started walking away from the tent, still no sound from inside of it. He could only imagine Shiro and Alluras pink faces and awkward movements now that Keith had interrupted them and then left, god it was hilarious. 

The boy started jogging a bit as he placed his focus on the stream in the forest instead of embarrassing moments, and it was going good, no one near him, trying to talk to him, no one irritating. Hunk was by the fire, Pidge was scaring a mouse she had found by their tent, Shiro and Allura was doing -their thing- Coran was reading in his cool, self folding chair, and Lance was... 

“What the heck man!” Keith could hear someone shout from in front of him as he had stumbled back, and whatever Keith had ran into was mad, and looking at him with furrowed eyebrows and a questioning facial expression.

“Should you say -why were you in the way?!” Keith shouted back as he got back to a balanced posture, staring back at Lance with the same eyes even if he knew it was his own fault they collided, but right now he didn’t care because Lance was being rude. 

“You were the one who ran into _me_ , you dipshit mullet!” Lance shouted back as he gestured with his hands towards Keith, trying to make him understand how ‘stupid’ he was. Keith snorted as his arms fell slack at his sides. 

“Do what you have to do to make yourself feel better” Keith declared crossing his arms, his eyes wandered away from Lance’s face and settling on the ground, not wanting to have an angry attitude or look at Lance when he remembered everything the boy had gone through the other day. If he just kept it down maybe he’ll end what he’d started, he didn’t want to be offensive. 

“Yeah sure” Lance snorted as well as he right after started walking past Keith, their shoulders brushing. 

“Hey Lance” Keith called out, turning around on his feet to meet Lance’s eyes. Lance stopped in his steps but didn’t turn to face him, leaving Keith wondering if he would even turn, but he did, with his signature smile showing glittering teeth. 

“Yeah?” Lance asked with raised eyebrows, looking as confident as ever. Keith opened his mouth but closed it again, but it was stupid to not say it, he shouldn’t hesitate, he should just ask, it’s not that big of a deal. 

“About -Uhm- yesterday nigh -about what you were saying?” Keith tried to get out, but it felt like it got stuck in his throat, like he choked on the question to Lance asking if he was okay. It didn’t get better the way Lance’s smile faltered a bit, his face going a bit blank, but it was only for a faint second before his dazzling smirk was back. 

“Ah, wondering if I’m okay? I’m completely fine although it amazes me the mullet actually cares about people, I honestly thought you were dead inside” Lance said Keith with a teasing voice, it was obvious he hadn’t actually thought that was what Keith had wanted to ask, but it was, and the teasing didn’t make Keith feel outed at all, he wasn’t ashamed for wanting to ask Lance that after what the boy had said the other night. 

“Good” Keith said with a serious tone, a small, genuine smile on his lips. He knew it wasn’t really true, especially not by the way Lance’s smile disappeared completely and was replaced by furrowed eyebrows, avoiding eyes and pink cheeks. That was obviously not the answer Lance had anticipated. 

“‘M gonna go get water, catch you later loser” Keith declared with his normal tone and waved Lance off, turning once again to go off to the stream, but not turning quick enough to miss Lance’s change off facial expression. 

“Hey! Who’s the loser, you ran into me idiot” 

***

After Keith had gotten water he had joined the others for breakfast, feeling more settled in with the others it felt more natural to not just listen but also contribute to the conversation, and it hadn’t gone terrible, he had had a nice time. Of course he hadn’t been as passionate as Coran or as loud as Lance, but he was still a part of it, sitting down beside Pidge in a conversation about different games, going over Overwatch, Keith mentioned what he liked about Mirrors edge and FPS games. And then out of nowhere Pidge had taken up Life is stange and they had talked about that for a while, Keith like ha hadn’t played it and cried for the last hour of the game and basically sobbed, loudly, when he had chosen the town over Chloe. Yeah, those were hard times. Although breakfast had been good, it had felt nice to talk to Pidge, to tease his brother with irritating smirks... smiling at Lance’s jokes that shouldn’t have been funny, but they were. 

After breakfast, Shiro, Coran and Hunk had gone fishing, Keith didn’t have the patience, and turns out (not surprising at all) neither did Lance. Pidge Just didn’t want to and was happy hiding under a tree, trying to build a rocket prototype made off  sticks, and Allura basically got forced to stay by Lance telling her he needed to talk to her, that they needed to play a game or some shit, Keith was convinced it was just lame excuses for Lance to get Allura alone to flirt. It pissed Keith off but knowing Allura and her obvious “thing” with his brother it was probably gonna be fine... Although it still made Keith pout and the ugly part of him wanting to grab Lance by the wrist and tell him to stop. 

Keith himself had gone off to the same cliff that he had been on during the sunset the other day, seating himself with Ruby in his lap to read a book, one about a zombie apocalypse and a girl trying to survive it. After a while he went back though, dehydrated  since the water from his own bottle had run out. But when he came back, hoping to just be able to get some water and then go back, the others were back from their fishing with a big ass fish, and before Keith could protest, he had been forced to socialize and cook lunch/dinner with the others. 

After they had eaten, people started walking off on their own, Hunk and Pidge going to play chess, Allura, Shiro and Coran to do -Keith actually didn’t know they just went back to their tent, and Lance, Lance went on a mission on his own, at least that’s what Keith thought as the boy walked off alone. 

Keith himself had gone off to the stream to then follow it upwards to explore the place a bit more before they were gonna have to walk down the mountain back to the cabins. Of course the forest was the same as in the valley, but when tall steeps had come up in front of him and he had had to climb a bit to get higher, he could easily look out over the landscape beneath him. The forest, the tents on the camping spot, and the stream like a blue string running through the trees, glistening in the sun. And at one of those places, when the sun was close to the horizon and the sky pink and orange, he decided he wanted to stop and enjoy the view. 

Keith stared out on the painting in front of him and sighed happily, yup, this was what made him relax for real. His hair was blown out of his face by the calm wind, but it was still forcefull enough to bring tears to his eyes. 

After a moment of just enjoying the sunset and the fact that he was alone and could do so in loneliness, he turned around to face a huge pine tree. It almost made him jump the way it was so directly in his face, tall and proud swaying peacefully in the calm wind, yellow at its places from the warm sun. 

It didn’t take long for Keith to decide that he would climb it, or at least try to. He did have a lot of muscle and he was pretty strong, he had also climbed trees before so it shouldn’t be that hard right? Well it had been pretty hard, and had took a lot of tries, but after about half an hour he was sitting on a branch. Not at the top, but high enough that he could feel the tree swinging slightly.

It was truly beautiful, everything he was looking down at, the way the wind made his eyes tear up, it _felt_ so _beautiful_. Whenever Keith got these moments he felt unbreakable, like nothing and no one could ever hurt him, like he didn’t need others to love him because he had himself, but he also felt so vulnerable, because he knew that the moment would be over ones the sun was gone, and then he knew he would be cold and scared ones again, and the fact that the tree was swinging would freak him out, and the height from ground would make him terrified, and all those years of loneliness would come back and he would get petrified. And it scared him so much to know what would happen, and sometimes it ruined the moment all together. Although now he just wanted to stare in to the sky and think about how lucky he was to be here, to be apart of his brothers life, for the fact that these people accepted him so far, that he still hadn’t fucked up, not even Lance hated him for all the shit he said, and that Keith was, in fact, not alone at all. 

Keith cleared his throat that had suddenly gotten thicker and making it harder to swallow, ignoring it he blinked his eyes dry, breathing out a shaking sigh. It was time to get back, the sun was almost completely gone and he knew that tomorrow was a new day were he was gonna have to get up early. It was time to pull himself together.

The boy slowly started climbing down the tree, looking carefully before putting down his foot on branches, checking first if they were safe and wouldn’t break under him. Eventually he was down on solid ground, the moment was gone and only the tip of the sun was still up over the horizon. All the sounds got back as he snapped out of himself, trying to get himself back to reality, it was easier than it normally was since he knew that he wouldn’t wake up alone tomorrow, there wasn’t any exhausting anxiety waiting for him when he was finally gonna be back at the camping spot. And with that he started walking. 

***

When Keith got back to the camping spot everything was dark, the fire from before was out, all the food was gone and probably packed in carefully so that no animals could get a whiff of it, and there was no one outside, it seemed like everyone had gone to their tents to sleep. And Keith probably should want to, but he didn’t, he was barely tiered at all, and from the walk he’d just taken his body was filled with leftover adrenaline, he knew for a fact that he wouldn’t be able to sleep even if he tried. 

Keith picked up his phone from his pocket, 23:12, damn, it was pretty late, he should probably just crawl into his tent, read a little until he got sleepy enough, but he didn’t want to, he just didn’t feel like it. So without thinking more of it, he started walking off towards the path going to the cliff, Ruby, who had been sleeping whilst he’d been out on his little tree-climbing-adventure was now following behind him. 

He felt weird, not in a weird way but in a... good way, he felt kind of good-weird, it was weird. He didn’t feel like this that often, like the moment he had experienced was still hanging over him, and he felt, happy? Yeah, he did. It scared the shit out of whilst he was walking down the path in the dark forest with a genuine smile pasted on his face, but it felt good to be here, not like how he’d felt the first day, not at all, he felt like he could keep calm and trust these people would respect him and his needs, wich didn’t happen often. It’s not like he trusted these people, he wasn’t that stupid that he’d just show them all his fragile sides, the anxiety, the hurt, the trust-issues, no, he wasn’t that stupid. 

Although, last night, when his mind had been blurred out by the alcohol, when Lance had yelled and cried and been completely _wrecked_ , all Keith had wanted to do was to tell him it would be okay, that he shouldn’t care about his parents and his grandma since they seemed like idiots, even if Keith understood after, this morning, that Lance felt guilty because it was his family and they were obviously disappointed with him, Keith still had just wanted to hold him and rub his arms around his shaking body and whisper calming words in his ear and kiss his head and his eyes and his cheeks and his mouth—

keith shook his head and tried not to care about the blush now creeping up his face, trying to stop thinking about the embarrassing thoughts he’d had the other night, he got really protective when he was drunk... 

keith kept walking with Ruby strutting close behind him, enjoying the quiet and peaceful crickets singing for him —until he stopped, listening to the faint sound of something in front of him, and then when he had walked a bit more to see what that sound was coming from, he stopped ones again with mouth hanging slightly open from surprise, eyes wide.

 _“When your name doesn't hurt to say_  
_And I think about you less each passing day_  
_When I can't feel your weight_  
_Will I miss the way it feels to miss you?_  
_Missing you, missing you, ooooh oh”_

Lance was turned towards the drop, singing out to the scenery in front of him, his back towards Keith who was standing in the forest, slightly hidden by bushes and trees, stunned, frozen, with his jaw slack. Lance, was singing, and it was beautiful, and passionate, and so not the normal Lance that he normally saw who irritated him and made him weird. This Lance was more in the way of the drunk Lance last night, not as wrecked but the exact same amount of feelings, making Keith shudder. 

“What’s that song?” Keith blurted out before his mind could catch up with his gut, and he mentally slapped himself when Lance turned so fast it almost made him fall over. 

“Keith!” He exclaimed loudly, eyes scared from the sudden sound of the boy he hadn’t even known had been there. 

Unfortunately Keith couldn’t say anything else, his mouth not willing to open now that he realized he’d just interrupted Lance in his private time, he should just walk away right, he’ll just excuse himself from his own embarrassment and leave Lance to himself. His eyes not meeting Lance’s as he tried to look as small as possible. 

“No nothing -Uhm- sorry -I’ll just-I’ll just leave” Keith said quietly, shifting weight between his feet as he looked back up at Lance meeting his eyes, who had now become soft, just like the rest of Lance’s face. 

“Birthmark” he exclaimed just as quietly as Keith, with a small smile pasted on his lips, making Keith furrow his eyebrows. 

“What?” Keith asked whilst taking a step forward, coming a bit closer to Lance, eyes connected. 

“The song, Birthmark” Lance repeated, not breaking the eye contact. 

“Oh” Keith said, now standing right in front of him, their height difference really showing the way Keith was standing on a bit lower ground, looking up at Lance. 

“Yeah -Uhm- did you, want anything or?” Lance asked with raised eyebrows, eyes averted and face a little bit pinker, or maybe that was just Keiths imagination. 

“No I just -I couldn’t sleep and- yeah... how did you learn to sing like that?” Keith tried to get out as he bent down on his knees to pet Ruby who was meowing beneath him, mostly to hide his slightly red face, why did he think it was a good idea to try and have a serious conversation with Lance? Alone

”What? Bad?” Lance asked sarcastically with a chuckle, making Keith stand again. How could he say so? He sounded amazing.

”No, good” Keith said seriously with furrowed eyebrows, looking straight at Lance, not stuttering even a bit. And Keith could see it made an effect on the boy in front of him who's smirk disappeared and was replaced with red cheeks, god he was adorable, even if Keith would never admit it out loud.

“Uhm -Well- my sister taught me -but that was a long time ago and I don’t -I just do it privately -I’m not that good” Lance’s words got tangled up in each other as he tried to get them out, his eyes avoiding Keiths as they were so close, closer than they’d ever been before. 

“You should sing more often” Keith said confidently, not embarrassed at all now that Lance was actually opening up a little, and right now, when he felt as tired as he probably was, like he was drunk and dizzy all over again, he wanted to make sure the boy in front of him knew he was a good singer, because from what Keith heard; he was. 

Lance’s eyes got wide as he looked up at Keith again, face flushed and one hand over the other arm, locking eyes with the boy. 

“Lance?” Keith said hastily before he could stop himself, his gut was taking over now, his brain was completely turned off. 

“Yeah?” Lance asked quietly, eyebrows high on his forehead, looking like an excited kid waiting for Santa Claus on the night before Christmas. 

“What were you talking about last night?” Keith asked, his face caring and voice soft, really wanting to know the reason why Lance wasn’t okay, so that he could make him feel better. 

Lance’s smile disappeared, his eyes averting once more, his arms going slack by his sides and his facial expression loosing hope. Shit, Keith had said something he shouldn’t have. But before he could say sorry, Lance had turned towards the horizon and walked a bit furder out on the cliff to then seat himself on it. 

Keith followed and seated himself beside Lance, and when he’d found himself a comfortable position he looked over at Lance, who was still staring out over the view in front of them. 

“My grandma and my dad got -mad at me for what I did and I know I didn’t do anything wrong really but -I- I shouldn’t have done that towards them I mean -I like -Made fun of everything they believe in” Lance said with furrowed eyebrows like he was trying to figure out himself what he meant by the words, like he didn’t even know. 

“What did you do?” Keith asked impatiently, he needed to know what was the cause of Lances dads hate, it wasn’t fair towards Lance. 

The boy beside him shifted uncomfortably, bringing his knees up towards his chest, daring a look at Keith to then avert his eyes again, his face was red again. 

“Something sexual?” Keith asked with his eyebrows raised, the boy next to him stiffening, his blush getting more intense. It was totally something sexual. 

“Yeah, you could say that” Lance muttered into his knees, gaze avoiding Keiths completely. Keith smirked slightly wondering if Lance was thinking back at it, him also looking out over the scenery for a bit, before he decided it was time to open his mouth again. 

“Don’t ever hide yourself, not even from your family. No matter what you did, your family doesn’t have the right to judge you for it, not even a little” Keith stated plainly, his eyes fixated on the forest, focusing on it instead of Lance trying to keep his gaze away from him, not wanting to show himself too vulnerable for Lance. 

Lance himself turned his head up, looking directly at Keith, eyes wide and eyebrows slightly furrowed. 

“Trust me, don’t let anyone judge you even if you feel week and guilty, they don’t have the right to, even if they’re your family. I know what happens then, you fall apart, and no matter how much you play along with their game, you’ll always just be you, and it will cost you to try and be someone else” Keith said quietly when Lance hadn’t responded to his other comment. And when he dared to glance at the boy beside him he had to look away fast, Lance looked so fragile, his knees tight against his chest, his eyes blank, and his face red and flushed deep. It made Keith want to hold him once again, just like he had wanted to when he’d been drunk, hold him tight, and he was sober. What the fuck was happening to him?! 

“Okay” Lance whispered with such a vulnerable voice it made Keiths heart squeeze, and he couldn’t dare himself to look at Lance the way he felt he would attack Lance with comforting arms even if the boy wouldn’t want to. And he couldn’t risk that, not now. 

And then they just sat there, quiet, enjoying each others presence. And Keith didn’t know it, but Lance was feeling the same weird feeling as he was, and that he hadn’t really told the whole truth about what he had done, and the actual reason to why his dad and abuela were acting the way they were, and the fact that  Lance had felt so surprised, still, by the time he’d gotten back to his tent, was because Keith had said the exact right thing even if he hadn’t known all the facts. 

Keith was killing him the way he was, and Lance hated that he was starting to fall back in his old ways, he shouldn’t, but he did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CAN YOU FEEL THE GAY, I can because, my dudes, shit’s goin down.


	9. Hot chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so yeah a new chapter, I wanted there to be more in this but school has just started and life as well. So it’s harder to find time but also creativity. Although this chapter is kinda necessary because Keith gets a bit of information.

After his and Lances little moment, they had walked back to the tents, together, side by side, it had been a bad idea. Keith had avoided looking at the other boy for as much as he could but he hadn’t been able ignore the fact it had been hard, especially when Lance had chanced small glances at him, and when Keith had seen the other boys blushing face and unsteady posture in the corner of his eyes, that’s when it had been terribly hard. But soon enough the two of them had gotten back to the camp, ignoring each others eyes like their lifes depended on it. Back in the tent Keith had had a pretty hard time falling asleep, not able to ignore the fact that Lance hadn’t argumented back, he hadn’t tried making it a competition like the other girls and guys Keith had been with. Lance had just said okay, with such a sincere voice it had made Keith wonder where this person had been all his life, he still wondered. Keith hadn’t fallen asleep until three. 

***

”Hey, don’t hit so hard would you? It actually hurt sometimes you know” Shiro uttered with puppy eyes, trying to convince Keith to say sorry. 

“Oh shut the fuck, we both know that’s bullshit” Keith then said hitting his brother again, this time hard enough to pull an ‘oof’ out of Shiro, but it still made him smirk. 

“Well, if you say so, should we start?” Shiro muttered happily but with a serious tone, smirk fading. Keith raised his eyebrows, face turning sarcastic. 

“After you ma’ ladie” He teased with a serious facial expression but with an overly sarcastic tone. When Shiro just rolled his eyes at him he smirked, evilly. 

Shiro though, didn’t waste time saying anything else and turned away from Keith, starting a steady jog into the woods. Keith followed suit. 

The woods were quiet, almost no sound, just the faint rustle of leaves, the few birds deciding they wanted to sing a tune, and the small sound of water moving nearby, probably because of the fact that they were running on a track beside the river, but far enough from it not to be able to see it. Keiths pulse was high, but steady, his breathing was pretty fast, but controlled still, his brother, running in front him, seemed to be in the same state. Although it didn’t matter to Keith that he was tired, because he loved it, right now he was wondering how he could have managed without running for this week, it was like, his big addiction. And yes, Keith didn’t prefer running with others, but it was his brother, and he could give up one run for his brother, especially in this place, he felt so secure, almost as secure as when Shiro first had taken him on a trap to the desert house where he’d later on spend so much time, because he felt secure with these people, with the forest. They’d had a tuff start, especially him and Lance, but now he felt like he could trust him, especially Lance... well, that was probably because he’d spent the most time with Lance, he’d barely spoken to Allura or Coran, but Keith still felt like he trusted Lance more than he’d ever be able to trust them, and he didn’t trust Lance that much. He knew it was probably just his mind playing tricks on him, but it still made an affect on him. 

“You wanna stop?” Shiro shouted from in front of him, a lot longer away from Keith than he expected, he must have zoomed out, probably slowed down his pace. 

“Nah, lets find a nice place first” Keith yelled back, out of breath, his hands clutching his sides, he always forgot how much it hurt to stop.

“Well, I mean, there’s a nice place right here” Shiro said casually in a normal tone ones Keith had walked up to him, pointing to somewhere over Keiths shoulder, behind him. Once he’d turned to see the place Shiro was pointing at, he mentally slapped himself. How could he have zoomed out so much that he’d just missed the fact that there was a stunning waterfall from a cliff on the other side of the river.

”how could you even miss it?” Shiro asked with furrowed eyebrows, meeting Keiths eyes.

”No fucking clue man” He answered simply, jogging away from the forest path and on to the the stony cliff on their side of the river, who now had turned slim so you could easily see the waterfall and hear it loud in your ears. Soon after his brother jogged up to him, seating himself on a loose stone, grabbing his backpack, that Keith had wondered why his brother had taken with him, and dragging it off of himself to place it in front of himself. Then he opened it and took out a thermos and a bag with -was those cookies- with cookies in. 

“Why the fuck did you bring cookies for?” Keith asked critically, eying the cookie that Shiro was holding in front of him. Shiro didn’t answer and just waited for Keith to sit down on one of the other loose stones. 

“What’s in the thermos?” Keith then asked again as he’d, skeptically, excepted the cookie and sat down. Shiro gave him a short glare before he answered, focus back on opening the thermos. 

“Hot chocolate” he answered simply, like it was completely normal to bring fucking _hot chocolate_ on a simple jog, wich it most definitely wasn’t. 

“ _Hot chocolate_ ” Keith stated blankly, meeting Shiros eyes with a skeptical look, eyes dead of emotion. 

“Yeah, what else you dip shit” Shiro muttered angrily, turning his focus to pouring into a cup instead of Keiths judging eyes. He probably knew this was the reaction he would get out of Keith, but he wanted his hot chocolate mkay?

”You want?” Shiro then asked, completely ignoring Keiths tone and putting the mug in front of his brothers face, his own skeptical look, daring Keith if he could stand for his word or not. 

“Sure” Keith gave in quietly after eying the mug for a good five seconds in disbelief, he took the mug and put it to his lips, the welcoming smell of hot chocolate hitting his nose.

Shiro avoids making a comment as Keith closed his eyes with a sigh after his first gulp, although he was smirking like an idiot, making Keith smile himself.

“You wanna say something or not?” He asked with a smirk and Shiro just raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

“No no, I’ll be fine” Shiro answers as he took his own gulp of the liquid, enjoying it as well.

Then it got quiet, they just sat there, looking out over the waterfall, Keith soon laid down on the hard surface to paste his eyes on the treetops, enjoying the sound of the waterfall. He closed his eyes for a moment, just listening, and ones he opened his eyes again he had secretly been hoping for Lance in his face, grinning down at him, making fun of him for resting his head against the cliff. 

“What’s the deal with Lance and Allura?” He asked before he could stop himself and shut his eyes tight whilst giving himself a mental slap, because _why_ would he ask that. Shiro _loved_ Allura, and he just blurted it out, he was such a fucking stupid _idiot_. But instead of awkward silence from the other side of the conversation, came a small chuckle. 

“Don’t worry, Lance and Allura are nothing, it’s just him trying to make a scene, trust me” Shiro answered carelessly and Keith opened his eyes, looking up at Shiro the best that he could from his laying position, he looked careless as well, a smile on his lips. 

“Well... then what is the deal -with like- when Allura got so worried once he was upstairs alone -abd like- I don’t know- When they always walk off together?” Keith tried to get out with a low voice, wanting to seem as careless as usual but his eyebrows were still furrowed deep in confusion, his eyes avoiding Shiros. What if it upset his brother? What if his blush was obvious? What if he was imagining things?

”you’re really interested?” Shiro asked, not angry, nor irritated, just curious, hopeful? Keith locked eyes with Shiro. 

“Well, yeah” Keith answered with furrowed eyebrows, why wouldn’t he be, these people were good to him. Shiro smiled a big smile at him as an answer, making Keith kinda uncomfortable. 

“I didn’t expect that of you -thanks” Shiro uttered happily, making Keith feel proud, he felt so happy to be able to be apart of _Shiros_ life. But before Keith could answer, Keith started talking again. “Allura and Lances families are close -or were- and they’ve been really good friends since kindergarten -just like Lance and Hunk I may ad- and they’re just really close” Shiro said like it was nothing, staring out over the waterfall. “And -you know- when Lance was on the second floor alone?” Shiro asked Keith, looking back into his eyes. Keith nodded. “He and Allura used to stay here over the summers with each other when they were kids as well, it’s not just now, so both of them has a lot of memories. I think -I don’t know that much since Allura hasn’t told me everything- but Lance has a lot of sadder memories stacked here too, I think that’s what he was -I don’t know- looking at” Shiro gestured with his hands, trying to find the right words. “Like he was, reliving old memories” he finally settled on. 

“Oh” Keith said after a while, he’d tried to process his brothers words and not say anything stupid, but honestly, there wasn’t much to say, it was just kind of a fact, not amazing, not to sad, not to happy, it just was. He didn’t feel like saying anything else than ‘oh’ to his brother, he just felt like talking to Lance, know about this fact that he’d just heard so little off from Shiro just now, he wanted to know everything, and be a comforter, and helpful. Most of the time Keith didn’t like waisting time on people because what if they hurt him? What if his trust made him to weak? What if everything fell apart and he would end up alone again? But with Lance he just wanted to be there.

”Lance -Lance said his parents didn’t understand or respect who he is and what he did, do you -do you know... what he did?” Keith asked after a while of silence, he really didn’t want to be one of the nosy ones because really he should be asking Lance and not Shiro but _shit_ , he _needed_ to know. 

“I’m sorry Keith but... if Lance didn’t tell you, there’s probably a reason for it” Shiro answered guiltily after thinking for a bit about what he should say. Keith wasn’t surprised about the answer, his brother had always been good at holding secrets and holding on to trust. 

“I know I know, I just -nah nothing” He muttered quickly, not wanting his brother to feel guilty about something he shouldn’t. Although the end of his sentence had been a bit unsteady, he knew his brother would pick it up, he needed to say something.

“So you wanna keep running or what?”

***

It was about 7 pm when Keith and Shiro had gotten back to the big cabin, Hunk was almost finished making dinner with Lance on the side, dancing to the catchy music in the background while cutting tomatoes and a cucumber for a salad. Allura, Coran and Pidge were playing poker, Allura obviously winning if the look on her face meant anything; excited, a shit-eating grin pasted on her lips since Pidge had an angry pout instead. 

“It smells amazing Hunk” Shiro exclaimed happily to announce their presence, everyone in the room noticing them, Ruby walking up to Keiths side, curling up against his leg to say she’d missed him.

“Hey, I’m helping too” Lance said, turning around to look at Shiro with a faked angry expression. Suddenly though, Lance looked over to Keith, who was standing a bit behind Shiro, and they made brief eye contact before Lance quickly turned back to the bench instead, focusing on cutting the greeneries ones again, but Keith hadn’t and missed the small blush that had showed itself on Lances face before the boy had turned. Cute. 

“You’re literally just cutting tomatoes Lance, it’s not like you were apart of anything” Pidge said irritatedly from where she was sitting in an armchair, voice tainted with frustration as she stared over her cards like they were one of the guys trying to pick her up with hideous pickup lines, un-ironically. 

“Well you didn’t do shit so I’m better anyways” Lance said with spite and pointed the knife in Pidges direction, and even though she was sitting on the other side of the room Hunk reacted. 

“Lance! You can’t just wave around knifes like that!” He exclaimed with a high pitched voice, gesturing with his hands like they were burning.

”Hunk, my man, I won’t hurt anyone -unless she makes me!” Lance said with a louder voice at the end, turning to Pidge again, who only gave him the finger back. 

“Jesus Christ...” Keith could hear Shiro mutter quietly from in front of him, his hand on his forehead, like it was physically hurting him that the people around him were so aggressive.

It made Keith chuckle slightly, right after, he went further in to the room to ask Hunk if he needed any help. He ended up setting the table.  

 


	10. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second week: Monday—Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter took a while but I promise, this one’s a goodie, and, as you can probably guess, pretty gay.

The second week, just three more to go. Monday, or as most people referred to as hell in 24 hours, fuck, you could even call it the ninth circle of hell, betraying your trust and love for life, and as a college kid Keith knew that Mondays could even be classified as the devil itself, the big E in evil. Although, this time a year, Mondays were just like any other day, Keith wouldn’t even have known it was Monday unless he’d kept count on the days left for the shit-show-trip (that was actually kinda nice, just a little) to end. And because of who he was, how he acted, he should keep to himself, that had been the plan, but somehow he ended up enjoying walking with the other guys to take showers, he liked hanging out with them even if he hadn’t contributed that much to the conversations; loved Alluras stubbornness (he could relate a lot to her he realized after they’d hung out a bit, especially when they’d played monopoly with each others since there hadn’t been enough figures for everyone;) he could laugh until he cried at Pidges jokes and dares and challenges and her sarcasm really made a bit of Keiths days here; Hunks cooking and pureness was amazing, both of them, Keith would tease the broad-shouldered guy til his cheeks would be red as a tomato; he wouldn’t even had survived the first day unless his brother had been there for him, protecting his lone wolf nature, be there for him, just in general; and well, he could put up with Coran, he hadn’t thought that he would have been able to, but, you never know what happens when you come along on a camping trip with a bunch of people you don’t know, besides, if you wanted to discuss science or conspiracy theories with anyone, Coran was the man. 

And then there was Lance, his jokes made Keith roll his eyes or furrow his eyebrows, but he would never be able to hold the poker face for to long as he would start smiling eventually, stupidly like some teenager, and the way Lances cheeks would get a little flushed if no one else had noticed Keiths smile, but making fun of him if others pointed out Keith was laughing at one of _Lances_ jokes. Keith really couldn’t get enough of the boy, although it did feel he was holding back. 

Well, Monday went by just like any of the other days he’d spent here, Keith had eaten with the others, went on a jogging trip with Shiro and (surprisingly) Allura, but for most of the time he’d been alone. Then it had become Tuesday, just the same as Monday, Lances jokes had been the same, irritating but funny... kinda cute. He’d gone for another jog but only with Allura that time, and they’d had a conversation about life in general, Keith had also gotten to know a bit about her childhood, about her and Lance playing there as kids. She’d also told him about what was actually happening with her and Shiro, wich made Keith happy since Shiro would only get flustered every time he brought it up. 

Although, most importantly, she’d told him about what they were going to do the next day (going to a lake) and she’d told him about how beautiful the lake was and how he should come with them the next day to the special beach where they would always swim and eat lunch, like a yearly tradition for when they went to this camping spot. Apparently they would have to walk for an hour or so but the view would apparently be worth it. Keith had been... skeptical, but since it was Allura, the girl who owned the whole camping spot, and just as stubborn as he was, he felt like he couldn’t say no. Also, he knew what his Brother would say if he didn’t come along, and ya’know... it would be fun, to socialize, and to see Lance... in only bathing shorts, you know, just casual. 

So that was how he ended up here, on an unexplored path, apparently going to some amazing water-place-shit ugh who knew. It was supposed to be super cool and some place they all adored. And yeah, sure, Keith had thought he should talk more to these guys, hang out more with them, you know, it had sounded great. But now, when he was sweating, and dying, and he could already feel the skin on his bare neck, exposed since his hair was in a small ponytail, burn up, knowing it would get an unbearably ugly red color, he did not feel up to talking and being happy and shit. He felt like drinking a huge glass of cold beer in a cool bar at winter times, or like getting to this damn place so that he could take of all his clothes and drown himself in fresh, cool water. Fuck, he hadn’t swam in a lake since about- two years? It had been a long time ago, he didn’t even remember the last time. 

“How much more is it? I think I can feel my throat crumpling” Lance broke the silence with a grueling breath, everyone else looking back at his flushed face.

Keith wanted to chuckle at how extremely Lance that was, not being able to ask how long there was left without being his typical drama queen, but the truth was, if Keith wasn’t so stubborn, he would have asked a long time ago. 

“Lance, you know the way, you know exactly how much more there is” Pidge answered irritatedly, obviously not up to dealing with Lance in this heat. Keith could relate.  

“We’re almost there Lance” Shiro answered, his voice full of bite, but the man was known for his patience. They had been walking for about forty five minutes, and Keith could sense it was affecting not just him but everyone, even Shiro. God he wished he could get there soon so that Ruby would stop meowing in discomfort because of the heat, and so that he could lay down under a tree and pretend that they didn’t have the long walk back left. Also, he was not feeling for hot chocolate, no matter how much his brother would try to force it on him. 

“Speaking of the place, we’re here” Allura exclaimed from where she was standing in front of them, looking out into the distance, over the lake visible trough the woods, to a huge cliff wall and a beach right under it. You couldn’t see much of it but Keith could see enough to know that he was easily going to fall asleep under one of those trees. 

“We’re here?!” Hunk yelled excitedly from behind everyone, his face filled with bliss, like he’d found water in a desert after days of searching.

“Yup” Lance said happily from Keiths side, how did he end up there? It didn’t matter as he then leaned in close to Keiths ear and whispered in his ear. 

“Last one there loses” he said before he was sprinting off, past Allura and on his way towards the cliff in a fast pace with his long legs. And sure, Keith didn’t have any energy left in him, at all, and sure, Lance was being childish and Keith shouldn’t take this challenge, but was he going to? Why wouldn’t he. 

With all the power he had left in his legs, he picked up the pace of his walking to running, sprinting, he could here Shiro chuckle behind him. His lungs started to work faster, his mouth falling open to take in more oxygen, his legs hurt, but he was closer to Lance now, almost right behind him, all those years of jumping around in the forest pretending to be a cool parkour-guy paying off. Lance turned his head in one fast movement as Keith could guess was because he’d heard the other guy closing in on him. Keith smiled as he could see the panic in Lances eyes as he got even closer, and lucky for Keith, it made him lose his focus. 

With all of the power left in his body, Keith reached out to grab Lance by the arm, yanking him backwards so that Lance ended up behind him as Keith kept running, not looking back at the boy he knew would have an utterly surprised face. 

In just a few moments without any competition, Keith reached the beach placed under the cliff, putting his hands on his knees for balance, his breaths fast and sharp. He won, he was better than Lance, it felt good, damn he was such a stubborn guy. 

“What the fuck man, you cheated” Lance exclaimed from behind him, the boys voice breathy and high pitched from running. Keith chuckled and turned towards him with a wide grin on his face, god Lance looked so cute when he was irritated.

”I would have won anyways, you’re to clumsy” Keith said with a serious voice, trying to hold back the grin, once he stood right in front of Lances face, back straight and chest out. 

“Ex-no-what?! I have skills! You just decided to cheat you cheater” Lance tried to convince Keith, his arms crossed over a chest and a pout on his face. This guy. 

“Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better” Keith answered easily, voice full of pure teasing, arms relaxed on his sides, not even a drop of anger in his blood. 

“Pfft, cheater” Lance muttered and looked away, but there was no spite in the words, Keith could here it. He was going to answer but before he got the chance, the others came up to them, Hunk throwing off his backpack, then collapsing on the soft sand under the trees shadows. Pidge on the other hand, started taking off her clothes as fast as she could, and as her shirt was off you could see she’d had a bathing suit under it. 

“Last one in is a rotten peanut” she exclaimed with a breathy voice as she started taking off her shorts. Lance quickly forgot all about Keith and their competition to go over to the next one, hastily stripping himself of his shirt. Keith couldn’t stop himself from sneaking a glance at him.

”Pidge what the hell is a rotten peanut—“

“C’mon Hunk!” Pidge tried but Hunk didn’t move a muscle, didn’t even open his eyes.

”I’m not going anywhere, I can be a rotten peanut for all I care” he groaned as an answer and then he got quiet again. Pidge and Lance just went with it as both of them started pulling of their socks. 

“You’re not going anywhere without sunscreen Pidge” Shiro warmed but before he could grab her, she was running off towards the water, Lance just behind her, and in just seconds they were splashing around in the water, both of them had forgot the childish challenge as they started chasing each other in the water.

Keith couldn’t help but smile.

“Sunscreen Shiro?” Hunk asked from his place in on the ground after a moment of silence, a smile on his face as well.

“Yeah, I’m on Hunks side with this one” Coran turned in with saying and Allura couldn’t help but chuckle discretely behind her hand. Shiro on the other hand, got a frustrated facial expression and furrowed eyebrows.

“What?! She’ll burn, her skin is fragile” he answered like it was completely obvious. Keith huffed in response and then went up to his brother to pay him on the shoulder.

“We all love you Shiro, but sometimes” he pretended to be looking for words but really he was teasing the shit out of his brother, whos expression turned emossionless.

“Oh haha, very funny”

*** 

Okay, so here was the thing, Keith had seen Lance shirtless like -what- two times before, but never, had he noticed the huge ass scar over his stomach until now, when the boy was splashing around in the water. Sure, he’d noticed there was something there but the first time he’d been... obviously distracted -and the second time he had almost ripped Lances head from his body, so there had been reasons for him to just completely forget about seeing the scar in the first place. Although now, there were no distractions, right now he was sitting under a tree, Ruby sleeping on his left side and Shiro sitting just as quiet as him on his right. He had his sketching book beside him, pen laying over it, he had started to draw something but in this heat, his brain just seemed to fried to get creative. So instead he sat there in silence, watching all the others -except for Shiro- playing in the lake. Shiro had actually just gotten out of the lake to seat himself beside Keith, his hair wet and dripping. The others were having some kind of water war, Allura and Coran on one team: both of them energetic and screaming, on the other team there was Lance, Pidge and Hunk: not as serious, more laughter and tactic than frantic yelling.

Although that wasn’t important to Keith, what was important was the fact that Lances scar was fully visible, and he was so careless, what had happened to him? Had someone hurt him? What was it from? And it was obvious everyone else knew since they didn’t even care a look at it. Were they scared to look at it? Or was it something Lance had gotten over? Or... something else. It seemed like Shiro noticed his struggle though. 

“Haven’t you seen Lance shirtless yet? I mean, you shower together” Shiro uttered from Keiths side, obviously not thinking twice about what he’d said: _shower together_. God, his brother really needed to understand how dirty he sounded from time to time. 

“Geez Shiro. But yeah of course I have, I just... I haven’t ever taken notice to -to that” he answered, making a small glance towards Lance, but mostly his scar. 

“Yeah cuz you was staring at his abs instead” Shiro stated matter of factly, making Keith bite the inner wall of his cheek. What was his brothers deal, it was like: you thought he didn’t know anything dirty and then boom, he hits you with ‘that’s what she said’ or ‘I could beat my meat to that’ straight out of nowhere, and you wonder: “where is Shiro and what have you done to my brother.” 

“He was seventeen -when he got it” Shiro said before Keith could open his mouth, a much more serious tone. Keith started drawing circles in the sand at that, trying to make his body as small as possible. He wasn’t supposed to hear this, he really wanted to and he knew he wouldn’t stop Shiro if he continued, but this was not something he should hear from _Shiro_ , especially since Lance was just about a dozen meters away from them, peaceful and not deserving someone bringing up his past without him wanting them to. 

“His brother got cancer, Lance was just a teen, and-“ Shiro had kept going when Keith hadn’t said anything, but was quickly cut off by Keith, not being able to deal with it. 

“It’s okay Shiro -I got it” In normal cases, he would have kept listening, happily even, wanting to know every little secret about his said peoples dirty pasts, but now, with Lance, with that boys insecure, and fragile, inside, he just felt _too_ guilty. 

Then it got quiet, Shiro seemed to get it, shutting his mouth to not say anything else, making Keith feel even worse.

”Hey Keith, what you drawing?” Shiro asked after a while, probably wanting to forget he even brought up Lances past, his eyes seated on one of Keiths hands, one of his fingers drawing lines in the sand, mostly to calm himself and look busy, not paying much attention to what he was drawing. “Nah -it’s nothin’- just a lion” he answered carelessly, making Shiro humm as an answer. It was the lion he always drew, the one that reminded him slightly of Ruby, but bigger and stronger, the one on the cliff. Keith didn’t look up at his brother more after that, not saying anything either, knowing Shiro would get the hint and leave, wich he did after another minute or so, knowing the difference between Keith wanting him to leave or Keith having a hard time getting something out.

Yes, Keith had wanted to hear more, from Lance, and sure, the mentioning of Lances brother having cancer had flipped Keiths stomach around, making him think of many possibilities to what that had to do with Lances scar. Had his brother died, making Lance so sad he’d done something stupid, tried to hurt himself maybe? Had his brother blamed Lance for the sickness or maybe Lance had been absent during his brother getting better and maybe his brother felt left out, so left out he’d hurt his own brother? He just wanted to know, was Lance okay? 

His train of thought was suddenly caught off. 

“Hey Keith! Get in here you peanut!” Lance shouted from the water, it looked like everyone had stopped what they were doing just to stare at Keith, had he done something weird?

“Come on man!” Pidge then shouted when Keith had just raised his eyebrows at them.

”hey guys, let’s not push him to-“

“Get in here!” Hunk was cut off by another shout from Pidge.

Sure, fine, you know what, yeah, he was gonna down down in to the water, and then he was gonna shove Pidge and that smirk of hers under the waters surface, rub it right of her smug face. 

Without more hesitation he stood up, everyones eyes on him, Lances stare a bit more intense than the others, as he placed his hands over the hem of his t-shirt to then drag it over his head, leaving his hair a bit messy and his torso undressed for everyone to see. It all seemed to be a bit much for Lance since he visible blushed. Keith chose not to make a big deal about it, just smirked confidently in the honey skinned boys direction. Yes, Keith was aware of how he looked, and yes, it was a bit of an understatement saying he just ran for exercise. See, Keith had a brother, a brother who loved gymming, and you see, when you had a brother who loved gymming, he -most of the time- would drag you with him to train. So yeah, Keith did have a six-pack, not as visible or as eye grabbing as his brothers, but still enough to make the girls in his neighborhood ‘waow’ when he walked by in a tight shirt, and enough to make the twinks in the clubs swoon after him, all the way to his home, to his bed.

And it sure as hell made Lances eyes widen before the boy looked away, probably remembering the first time in the showers when he’d (of course intentionally) showed of his own muscles in the region, but now, when he was looking at Keith, realizing Keiths was looking a hella lot better than his own, especially when it was on Keith of all people... he wasn’t thinking straight (hehehe.)

Keith dragged of his shorts next, him as well with a pair of swimming trunks underneath, the socks and the shoes he’d already taken off since he would never, ever, even consider sitting in hot sand with something else then sand touching his feet. 

When freed from his clothes, Keith started a confident walk towards the water, not like Lance comfident, more like a subtle “look at me I don’t care”:comfident, all those years of both girls and guys swooning over him making him feel completely fine with his body, making him not care about it as much as he used to. In middle school wheb he’d been the lone wolf everyone got freaked out by just looking at. 

In the heat of the sun, and the way Keith had adjusted to it by now, the water first made a chill move its way down his spine, making him hiss slightly, although soon enough the cold turned into a fresh calmness.

”I gotta say Keith, we did know your brother is buff but, shit man, I never knew you’d be the same” Pidge said with an impressed voice, her eyes first fixated on his stomach, then his chest, and then his face, her arms placed firmly on her hips. 

“Yeah? well I gotta get the girls somehow” he said teasingly with a smirk, not realizing how Lance he sounded before it was to late, Pidge obviously picked up on it, trying to hold back laughter. 

“God dammit Keith! You’ve been hanging out to much with Lance” she stated between laughs, making Keith take a step forward towards her. In the corner of his eye he could clearly see Lance being very little Lance and a lot more flushed, a tiny smile on his face and a hand scratching his neck awkwardly, What was up with him. 

Keith didn’t think more of it since he was now running after Pidge in the water, trying to catch her so he could splash water in her face ‘cus of her comment.  

*** 

After the whole water-war-splashing-thing they all ate lunch together, everyone still in their bathing suits, Lances scar open to see and closer, making Keith glance at it discreetly from time to time. It had been nice, getting to talk to everyone, he was starting to open up a bit more, not about anything too personal but he was starting to joke with them, laugh with them, argument with them, basically talk to them, and it felt good. During lunch, Lance had been good old Lance, no blushing, no hesitation, he was obviously happy, or hiding? Keith just went with it, although throughout the whole lunch he’d given himself mental slaps for caring so much about the boy he barely knew, and it was literally embarrassing how little how little he did know. He didn’t even know Lances age! Or where he studied, or where he lived. What if he lived in California? That was too far away for Keith.

What was he thinking? Nothing was too far away since he didn’t care, but he should probably ask sometime. 

The only problem was that they were at that stage when it would be weird to ask the simple questions since you should know the answers but didn’t because they’d hung out for more than a week, and not asked them. It would be awkward as fuck, but Keith hated not knowing all the information about people he could potentially enjoy talking to in the future even more -or you know, like anyone. What if it turned out Lance was super sketchy and weird. No, Shiro was friends with Lance, and Shiro would not hang out with a psychopath. That just wouldn’t happen. 

After lunch, they’d played a couple of games in the sand, also a bit of hide and seek since the place apparently had so many good places to hide at. The problem was that Keith had lost the previous game and had had to be the one trying to find people instead of being the one getting found, it had been boring and nerve-racking. Although it had made him smirk once he’d found Lance right after Hunk; the boys face had screwed up into an angry expression with his arms crossed tight over his , _tight_ , chest. 

Then the sun had started to go down and people had actually started paying attention to what time it was.

The answer was: pretty late. 

So when everyone had gotten patched up and all the things were in backpacks or hanging by the sides of your trousers, they all started walking back to the camp, and the so-hot-you-die sun had actually turned to more of a: not-making-you-sweat-so-fucking-much-you-want-to-kill-yourself sun. Wich was quite nice. 

After that, Keith felt it had been a bit too much socializing for one day and went back to the smaller cabin with a thermos of tea and Ruby right behind. When he got there he settled down with his sketching block and Ruby beside him, but his plan quickly got ruined by lack of inspiration and annoying built up frustration for some reason, he’d had it all day actually, he had to ask Lance about his scar. It was like he had that itch on that particularly hard place on your back to reach, and it made him angry. 

Without anything to do about his frustration he laid down and eventually fell asleep, really stupid idea since he later on woke up, at three am. Shit. 

Keith opened his eyes in one swift moment, not really knowing where he was or what he was doing there, he just felt warm and tucked in, but was he tired? No, no he was wide awake. 

Keith let out a sigh as he remembered he was on a camping trip with his brother and his brothers friends, and that it was morning? No, it was dark outside, how much was the time? He reached out a hand to the nightstand next to him, grabbing his phone. 03:13. Why in the heavens was he awake now? Wait, he’d went to bed at like... seven pm, it wasn’t even weird he had woken up now. Although it was still irritating as shit. 

Not wanting to get out of bed, Keith started turning around, trying to find a comfortable position so that he could fall right back to sleep. The only problem was that his body was not cooperating, his body was awake and not planning to go back into unconsciousness anytime soon. So without thinking more of it, Keith sat up, looking around the room, it was quiet, just the peaceful breathing from the other two people in the room as sound sources.

He didn’t know what he was thinking, or what he was doing, or what he wanted at that moment, but without any hesitation, at all, he climbed out of bed and started putting on his clothes. It had been a bit hard in the dark, especially with his jeans, he’d ended up banging into his bed with a silent ‘ow’ before he was finally fully dressed, on his way out the door. 

Keith knew where he was going, he was on his way to the cliff that he’d gone to the first night, he hadn’t been there since then and he felt now was a good time to go there again and enjoy the view... at three am. It was completely quiet as he walked down the path next to the lake, the water silent with a smooth surface, you could see the big moon clearly in the black water, the only sound hearable the cracking of sticks or dried leaves as Keith stepped on them. He didn’t feel like parkouring today -tonight?- but it didn’t bug him, he didn’t even have Ruby wich made it seem like something was missing since hed gotten so used to her being with him everywhere, but that made him completely alone, he had no one to do anything for, just himself. And he himself didn’t feel like jumping around, because that was something he did when he had a bit of anxiety bugging at his thoughts, that’s something he did when he wanted to focus on something else, on something funny, comedic, _careless_. But now he just felt good. 

Keith slowed to a stop as he stepped on to the cliff, seating himself against the big rock wall, eyes droopy but mind alert. It had been a good day, it had been nice swimming in the lake, it had been nice playing games with the rest of the guys. The only thing that was bugging him was that scar on Lance, it was big and obvious and just there. It was making him anxious, knowing Lance had probably felt extreme pain from it, physically obviously, but Keith was wondering if there had been any physiological pain in there as well. And that was bugging him. A lot. 

“Whoa, you really like stealing all my spots don’t you?” Keith was interrupted in his thoughts by a familiar voice speaking to him, it surprised him so much it made him turn his head to quick for his own good, almost loosing balance and falling over in his sitting position. A couple meters away he could spot Lance between the trees, his face half hidden by shadows, but his grin and crossed arms fully visible in the moonlight, making Keith huff out a sigh of relief. 

“I thought you were some psychopath here to kill me” he breathed out as an answer, turned towards the water again. It was a lie, he’d known that it had been Lance all the time, that was exactly why he’d jumped. This was gonna be awkward. 

With his eyes at the water again, he couldn’t see Lance but could clearly hear him as the boy walked over to him, crushing a couple sticks on his way. Then he was seating himself beside Keith, not looking at him, his eyes stuck on the water as well, he was completely silent, but he still had that fucking _grin_ , making Keith want to throw him in the lake. Lance placed his arms behind his body and leaned on them, his head leaning back as well, now staring up in the sky and the few pine trees in his view. 

“It’s way past midnight, why the fuck are you still up?” Keith asked after the other guy hadn’t opened his mouth -almost like he was _enjoying_ the silence- and leaned back his head against the rock so that he could also look at the stars, but instead he looked at Lance with raised eyebrows. 

“Couldn’t sleep” the boy answered simply, like Keith was supposed to be done after that. Not gonna happen. 

“Huh, wouldn’t take you for a guy with sleeping issues. What was it you said? ‘I’m always here if you need to talk about your problems Keith’” Keith said with just a tint of sarcasm as he started stating Lance’s words from the second day, making Lance chuckle a bit  but there was no way in hell that Keith was able to miss the sadness creeping in the brunettes eyes. Luckily enough he knew teasing in a loving manner would get him his answers, because right now the other persons downy mood was making his skin itch with pity and frustration. 

“You know I also have nightmares sometimes, and then I mean actual nightmares but also when you just can’t wrap your head around something and call it a nightmare to explain the rings under your eyes to people. Wich one of the cases are you dealing with now?” Keith asked with a quiet tone as his eyes started wandering over the waters surface ones more. He couldn’t see Lances reaction to the question, neither could he hear anything, but he didn’t dare to look. 

“Not wrapping my head around something was the issue yesterday, tonight I had an actual nightmare, just needed some air” Lance answered after a while, and to his disappointment, Keith could still hear the smile in his voice. Why couldn’t Lance just become a little serious, Keith knew he had it in him. Was he not good enough for answers?  

“What was the dream about?” Keith asked, knowing that he was risking rejection, that he was getting too personal, but he didn’t care. 

“It was -it was about my little brother” Lance muttered quietly, and Keith could hear him shuffling uncomfortably beside him. This was hard for him to talk about, Keith should stop asking questions, he shouldn’t push the guy to something he didn’t want to talk about, he really should, but he really wanted to know.

“Did... did dream have anything to do with the scar?” Keith then asked with hesitation, eyes still locked on the surface, he didn’t want to look at Lance now, he couldn’t show pity towards him, couldn’t hold him and comfort him so that he’d forget about the dream because Keith wasn’t enough for that, he was just some basic playboy who had had the luxury of getting to go on a camping trip with his brother and a bunch of nice amazing people. Why would Lance even want to tell him. 

He could hear Lances breath hitch from beside of him, could feel eyes staring at him, burning holes in his skull, but then Lance answered. “How’d you -Well, yeah” he answered with a confused tone, making Keith feel obligated to explain himself, letting Lance know he wasn’t just pulling facts out of thin air. 

“I saw your scar when you were in bathing-shorts -I mean- I’ve seen it before but never really thought about it. Then when you were all having fun in the water I -I asked Shiro and he said that you brother had cancer... he didn’t say more because I stopped him I -I didn’t need to hear more of someone else’s story” Keith answered through gritted teeth; he’d dared a look at the boy beside of him and found him with furrowed eyebrows and flushing cheeks, making it even harder for Keith to restrain himself and not just leave, especially since the boy looked like he was gonna cry, was he okay?

”Oh” was the only thing Lance managed to answer, making Keith both frustrated but also exposed. Lance could say whatever he wanted now, and Keith would listen, he would care about the words. 

“It’s, I don’t -I don’t really talk about it with people -it’s just” Lance started mumbling, gesturing with his arms with a pained facial expression, like he wanted to say something but something more important was stopping him. 

“No -you don’t have to say anything you don’t wanna say -I mean- we’ve only known each other for a week, I don’t even know where you live -I shouldn’t expect to get to know about your personal experience” Keith interrupted Lance by saying, not wanting the boy to feel sorry over something that wasn’t his fault. Although it still hurt, like ha wasn’t good enough, like how it always felt. Normally he would get mad, pretend like the other person had offended him, made him feel uncomfortable, so that Keith himself could just flee without feeling bad for leaving, because he had already made the other person angry with him -but right here, with Lance, no one else around, he could actually try being a nice guy, just for _once_ , he could stay for a little longer, because Lance seemed like the person who would easily get hurt and blame himself. Keith didn’t want him to blame himself.

Lance seemed taken aback by the answer but after a while he instead got a small grin on his face. 

“Shiro seriously haven’t told you where I live?” Lance asked, Keith gave him a small glance and then shook his head as a no, making Lances grin bigger. 

“What a fake friend - _how_ can you not _know_ that?” Lance then interrupted himself by asking, his voice in a disbelieving tone and his upper body entirely turned towards Keith, who was still wearing an emotionless facial expression. 

“Because he hasn’t told me you dumbass” he answered with furrowed eyebrows, like Lance was stupid or something, really, he thought it was kinda funny. 

“We literally met when he bumped into me at the bus stop, and when he said sorry like a thousand times I eventually got enough of it, asked him if he wanted to grab a cup of coffe later on, and we met at the local cafe. Like, we literally live in the same neighborhood, two blocks away from each other. Why don’t you know this?!” Lance stated with an excited but irritated smile and eyes, the last part more directed at Shiro who wasn’t even there, making Keith huff out a chuckle and a small smile, trying to stop it even if he knew it wasn’t working. Although it was weird he didn’t know this, but wait, didn’t that mean that Lance lived in—

“Why haven’t we met before then, my college is just a twenty minutes car ride from my brothers place... he really is a shit brother isn’t he” Keith said, muttering the last part so that Lance wouldn’t hear it, but of course he did anyways and chuckled slightly. 

“Really, What the -I met Shiro three years ago, although he did mention that you weren’t the talker type, more the: sit in their room and play games and get perfect grades anyways-type. Maybe that’s why we haven’t met huh” Lance said with a teasing tone, the part about Keith being a special _type_ obviously a bit more of his own judgment. Nonetheless it made Keiths eyes wander, his fingers fiddling with each other. 

“I’m not -I just don’t- I’m not that social, I don’t really visit my brother that much, that’s probably why we haven’t met, the closest you’ve seen of me is definitely my motorcycle, if you’ve even seen it” he muttered as an answer, his eyes in his lap, eyebrows furrowed, trying to figure out how to get out as much as possible but not too much, he didn’t want Lance worrying about him, that was just a waste of time. But he wanted Lance to know some things, at least a little, even if it made him a bit uncomfortable talking about his social life with someone that didn’t see him as the mysterious playboy that he was most of the time. Although Lance seemed to care less about Shiro and more about his vehicle.

“You have a motorcycle! What the fuck that’s amazing, picking up all the girls with that huh?” Lance exclaimed with an excited voice, leaning back a bit more on his arms, signature smirk on his face, but it felt very forced, very out of place, like when Lance had started talking about Rachel and how much he’d missed her and had even made Hunk feel uncomfortable. Was he trying to -was he trying to make Keith believe he was this way, always? because that ship had sailed.

“I mostly go to forests, or the gym with Shiro -although I pick up girls from time to time” Keith said with a plain voice, but then hesitated for what he was planning to say, see how Lance would react “and cute guys” he added, glancing at Lances face for some reaction, wich he got. He didn’t say anything, but Keith could see how he got tense, how the smirk turned into a visible blush and averting eyes. Cute. 

“Oh -so you- Uhm- you- hehe -you go for both sides then?” Lance got out awkwardly, although Keith would give the boy probs for trying to make it seem casual. It made him smirk. 

“Yup, problem?” He asked with a comfident tone, the one saying: I don’t give a fuck if you think it’s weird because I don’t give a shit about your opinion on this matter, looking over at Lance with raised eyebrows, smirk forcefully wiped away from his face and replaced with serious eyes, making Lance visible gulp. 

“No! Absolutely not, it’s completely normal -I don’t- if you like guys and dicks and things like that I am -I’m fine -with-with that” Lance stuttered out, arms frantically moving around.

Keith chuckled slightly and then turned back to the water. “It’s cool, you can chill” he said calmly, smirking before adding his next words. “Besides, I’m more of an ass-man actually” he added with a casual voice, almost _feeling_ how Lances blush had gotten redder. There was no secret to people that were actually Keiths friends -or the copious amount of people he’d hooked up with- that he wasn’t ashamed to talk about sexual stuff. He didn’t think it was holy, he didn’t think it was ‘making love’, he saw it as a pleasurable thing that you did because you wanted to, and he had no problem talking about it, hell he was joking about it on a daily basis with his brother, wich was even funnier since his brother did see it as ‘making love’. It was also no secret that he had a reputation of being good in bed, it was no secret he’d made both girls and guys scream, it was no secret that people were talking about it, that people were whispering about how it was spending a night with him. And it didn’t bother him that people were whispering about his sex life, what bothered him was when people were stating that they knew about his secrets, that they knew him better than anyone else, it bothered him when people were lying about him, when they were spreading rumors, because Keith would never trust hookups with his feelings. But even though he didn’t like sharing with people, he was with Lance, he had now, two nights, and even though he now knew Lance could actually spread rumors -that would be facts- in his neighborhood since he was just twenty minutes away, he trusted Lance wouldn’t, he trusted Lance would keep everything he’d said locked up in his brain, not for anyone else but him to know about. Lance just seemed like that type of person, the type of person that made Keith feel safe.

Preffering that it would be quiet from now on, Keith let his smile fall a and his face turn back to emotionless, but Lance didn’t seem to like that idea as he opened his mouth again, finally with a serious tone.

”I was only seventeen, and my brother was diagnosed with cancer” Lance said, making Keith turn towards him fast, wanting to see Lances emotions mirrored on his face, and he sure sees them, the way Lances eyes has started watering. And Keith thought he was done, so he was trying to come up with something good to say, but Lance beat him to it.

”I was just a teen, I was supposed to be worrying about girls, and college, you know, the things you’re supposed to worry about as a seventeen year-old. I was definitely not supposed to be worrying about my brothers death and my mothers face on his funeral, I wasn’t supposed to worry about how much the medications would cost, but-” Lance has to stop himself to let out a sigh, hunching over his knees as he let out a breathy laugh. Shit, was all Keith could put in as an opinion. Although it did make him irritated that Lance was laughing, it was obviously something he cared deeply about, and Keith understood it was just Lances lifestyle, but sometimes you had to let it go or you’d end up getting an unexpected panic attack. And Keith had plenty experience with that.

”-heh, look at me huh, I’m such a fucking pussy ain’t I -always fucking crying” Lance chuckled whilst wiping his wet eyes, only to have small tears running down his cheeks a second later, smile as bitter as it could be. God, Keith didn’t feel good, he did definitely not know what the heck to do, he never ended up in these situations, what should he say?! Keith, as discreetly as possible, leaned his body in Lances direction to then move a bit closer to him, eyes averting Lances face, instead he was focused on his hand that had gotten a lot closer to Lances. 

“So the scar?” Keith asked with a monotone voice, trying not to evoke any emotions of his own, even though he could already feel his eyes starting to water and the lump in his throat getting more noticeable. 

“My brother needed a kidney -and I just- I didn’t want to go to a funeral with him as the main subject” 

With that everything clicked for Keith as he finally understood what Lances brother had had to do with the scar; Lance had been his brothers doner. Lance had given up a part of himself for his little brother, Lance had suffered through the fear of losing something so precious to him, his family. What if Lance hadn’t been able to save him -was all Keith could think about. How sad Lance would have been, how he would have felt so lonely and angry and sad. The thoughts made Keith grit his teeth and his body tensing unintentionally, he could never wish that on anyone, especially not someone like Lance. Yeah, he was obnoxious and oblivious and an irritating shit but he was just so, innocent, and vulnerable. 

“You were his donor” Keith stated, one single tear making its way down his cheek, he quickly wiped it away with his hand and hoped that Lance hadn’t seen it. But when he finally looked over at Lance after the silence had lasted for a bit to long, the other boy wasn’t even paying attention to him, he was staring out in the distance, his cheeks were stained with tears still coming and red from embarrassment. When Lance finally realized Keith was looking at him his cheeks got even redder as he put on a small fake smile.

“Heh -I’m- I’m sorry for just -like- I just cry a lot and I don’t -I just” Lance tried to get out but failed miserably when he looked back into Keiths worried eyes, that caring stare making him go weak and even more crumbled up as his voice started cracking and more tears made their way to his eyes. 

Keith couldn’t take this anymore, it was painful to watch. Without thinking more of it, so that he could change his mind, he crossed that small distance between them and put his arms around Lances now shaking body, his hand locking a strong grip on the other boys shoulder, trying to get as close as possible so that he could somehow give Lance the warmth that Keith couldn’t put into words. And he expected Lance to push him away, or at least have some type of reaction, but instead Lance crawled closer into his grip, putting his own arms around Keith and eventually his face into Keiths chest as he started crying more violently. He needed to cry, both Lance and Keith understood that, everyone needed to cry eventually. Even Keith as he rested his chin on Lances head, small tears making their way down into Lances brown hair. He wasn’t making any sound, he wasn’t shaking, but it felt good to get it out, and it felt good to have Lance in his arms. 


	11. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second week: Thursday (Friday night)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING, there is some sexual shit in this and I hope you are prepared. And even more WARNING, there is some violence and blood as well.

Heat. 

So much heat, so hot, burning, burdening heat, and fuck it felt so fucking _good_. So deep inside and heat. No, not inside, _around_. Around him and in front of him, squirming, quivering, pleading, whining, shaking, moaning, screaming and burning up around him, _so_ hot, making him thrust forward so hard the body under him screamed and made him burn with fire and pleasure and oh. _Oh_. It was gonna make him explode, thrusting and breathing, _breathing_ , deep and oh he was so deep in the heat, so fucking hot and - _shit_ , he was _so close_.

“... _Keith_ ” 

 

Keith flung himself into a sitting position, eyes wide open and no sign of sleepiness left in him. His body was drenched in sweat and his hair was a mess, he could _feel_ it, and... oh, oh _shit_.

His breath hitched as he gripped his cover and pulled it away in one swift move to expose his overheated body, and making him gasp as cool air hit his erect cock, standing big and proud in his boxers. Keith put a hand over his face as he leaned back on the bed with the other, he had had a _dream_ , a very _specific_ dream. He took away his hand from his face to try and stare down his erection, trying to force it away with frustrated eyes and gritted teeth. Although all it did was kind of giving him a headache. Keith brought his free hand down towards it and slightly brushed over it with his tumb, making him gasp and shut his eyes closed, tight. 

Fuck, he was so hard, and god, it fucking _hurt_ when he touched it, it was so sensitive and just waiting for someone to touch it, or more specifically, someone to jerk it hard and fast until it came hot and white all over him. 

Keith puffed out an annoyed sigh as he leaned his head back to look at the ceiling, before realizing he wasn’t alone in the cramped house. Directing his stare at the other two beds on the other side of the half-wall he was happy to see that the other two people were sleeping peacefully. When his eyes stared over Lances sleeping body though, he could feel his dick twitch, seeking warmth and heat and something to satisfy it, and Lance seemed to be exactly what it wanted, lusted for, all long legs and smoth inner thighs and perfect lips to be wrapped around his cock so deep it’d make him gag. 

Keith wanted to hit himself for what he was thinking, longing after _Lance_ , yeah the guy was pretty -and hot... and really cute- but that didn’t mean some dream or his aching cock would make him want _Lance_. Although, even if he was thinking like that, it didn’t change the fact that the dream had been very specific, nor that his dick was still hurting and waiting for _anything_ , so he obviously had to do something about it, he was too awake now to be able to fall back to sleep anyways. So with a sigh and some inner strength; Keith pushed his tiered body out of the bed, reaching for his clothes in swift moves, trying to get them on as fast as possible so that he could get out of there and go somewhere more private, because he really needed a cold shower. Whilst trying to drag on his pants on though, it couldn’t go so swift since he had to get them over his boner without hurting it or making too much sound, which was obviously very difficult. 

“Ff-uck” he uttered through gritted teeth as he stuffed his erection in his pants, carefully looking over at the other bodies to see if they’d started moving. To his liking they both seemed very unconscious still. 

Without wasting anymore time, Keith went out the door to step out on the front porch, taking in the chilly air. God, that had been one dream. 

He walked all the way to the showers, trying to go as fast as possible but unfortunately that wasn’t really an option since he had a fucking painful hard on that was making it _very_ difficult to even walk. Although when he got there, he couldn’t have worked himself out of his clothes any faster. And soon he was standing in front of a mirror, trying to stare himself down. 

What was his deal? Why the hell would he have that dream? Did he have fever or something else weird? Keith couldn’t find any explanation to why he had had that dream, and why it was still haunting him and making his dick stirr and awoke.

He gritted his teeth as he looked down at his bare dick in the mirror, all his clothes laying abandoned on the hard floor. He really needed to take a cold shower and will his erection down but still he couldn’t resist to touch it, long fingers creeping closer to it. 

Keith connected eyes with himself through the mirror as he closed his hand in a tight grip around the base, and - _fuck_. He tried to stare himself down as his hand started moving, slow and tight. He shouldn’t be doing this, especially not while thinking of _him_. The guy had cried in his arms just a couple hours ago for Christ sake. And here Keith was trying to stop himself from cumming at the thought of him... his smooth skin, his toned abs, and arms, and legs, and - _fuck_ \- that tight ass in those swimming trunks. 

“ _Shit_ ” Keith grunted softly as he moved his thumb over the tip, collecting the pre-cum for use as lube, spreading it over his length at his next slow stroke. He _needed_ to _chill_. 

After another string of curses, he stepped away from the mirror, letting go of his cock to turn towards the showers. In about five seconds he had decided that he, in fact, needed to take a shower and get rid of his _problem_ because it was pissing him off. And no, he would -definitely not, never, no _way_ \- _take care of it_ because he would feel too guilty after finishing to the thought of _him._ Nope. 

Keith stepped into the second stall, the one the furthest away from the door, and turned on the cold water. First it made him gasp as a cold shiver went down his spine and up again, but soon enough he got used to it, and then he closed his eyes to rest his head on the wall in front of him. 

He was so fucked: why had he had that dream, he wasn’t lying when he thought it was hot... really hot, and all that heat had made him so excited it wasn’t weird he’d been rock hard when he’d woken up but _still_. It was a dream about _Lance_ , about annoying, obnoxious, oblivious Lance, that he’d only known for _two weeks_ -no; less than two weeks! And yes Lance was cute, especially when he blushed, and when he bit his lip because he was focused, and the way he just _lived_ in the water, like he couldn’t get enough of it, like he’d swim ‘till his fingers looked like raisins... that would never change the fact that he was Lance, Keith knew that. But he still couldn’t stop himself from turning up the heat of the spray and move his hand down to his still pulsing member. 

 _Lance_ , Lance was Shiros friend, and straight, and like _painfully_ straight. Sure Lance seemed pretty up tight about talking about girls and the flirting with Allura was obviously just childish teasing, but still, Lance didn’t even _react_ when it came to Shiro shirtless. Like, even _Pidge_ got flustered looking at Shiro. Keith knew his brother was one hot piece with that perfectly symmetrical face and that extremely buff and muscular body but Lance seemed unmoved by it, like Shiro was just his _bro and they were bros and broing all the time because they were bros_. And it pissed Keith off because that only proved Lance was so undoubtedly straight. And that sucked because, with his grip around his shaft under the stale water spray, he really wanted to fuck Lance, _hard_. Pound him into the showers tile-wall and turn that smug smirk into a lewd expression with scrunched up eyes and a wide open mouth screaming for release and _dammit_ —

Keith grunted frustratedly as he started stroking his dick with a tight grip once more, closing his eyes to try and ignore all the guilt flowing his veins. It was _wrong_ , he shouldn’t be taking advantage of just a thought because he knew jerking off and cumming was gonna make everything on the camping trip harder, he knew he wouldn’t be able to look Lance in the eyes without seeing a naked, honey brown body splayed out under him, begging for cock. 

“Stop it” he tried telling himself through gritted teeth as he started moving his hand faster, harder, imagining that tight heat that he’d felt in his dream around him. It would feel so good to be inside someone right now—to be inside _him_. 

Keith wanted to hit himself for the way he was thinking, kick himself in the balls so that the pain would stop his stupid erect penis from existing. But he just couldn’t do anything as he started moving his hips, one arm supporting him on the wall and the other to be fucked into by his swollen dick. 

What if he went back to the cabin and revealed Lances sleeping body to then enter him with ease, trying not to wake him. Lance would surely enjoy it way more than that goddam Laurel or Allura or any other girl.

Keiths dick twitched at the thought and he couldn’t help but let out a quiet whimper as he fucked his fist.

Lance would be so loud Keith would have to push his head down into the mattres, that pretty mouth not being able to create sentences whilst being fucked into oblivion. Only moans and spasms as he would cum hard by Keith hitting his sweet spot. _Shit fuck_. 

“Fuck-fuck-fuck—nghh” Keith moaned as he could feel his legs starting to quiver, his head starting to spin, opening his eyes to be met with the sight of the head of his dick going trough the hole of his fist to then stand red and proud as his hand gripped tightly at the base. God he wouldn’t be able to hold it in much longer, he was getting so _fucking_ close. 

“ _Yes_ -fuck, I’m gonna cum” he all but whined as his thumb went back over the wet head, his index finger rubbing over the sensitive slit. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking of Lances face then, as he was closing in on the finale, that beautiful face all flushed and embarrassed and _hot_. He had to brace himself against the wall at that thought, eyes closing tight as his stomach started to spasm, his head rolling back, his wet hair falling down to stick to his neck, moaning deeply as he could feel the first rope of cum come out of his dick, followed by three more powerful cumshots. All that white hottnes that had been boiling inside of him finally getting free, his spent dick sensitive and still slightly twitching with post-orgasm. Fuck, that had felt so amazingly _good_. 

But so terribly and unacceptably  _wrong_. What the fuck was wrong with him?! 

Keith was fast with drying himself, dressing himself, getting back to the cabin in a hurry. All whilst flushed red on the edge of which he looked like tomato, and avoiding looking into the mirrors at himself as he had tried to get dressed. And then when he got back to the cabin, Lance was just laying there as peacefully as ever, like nothing had happen. What the actual fuck was Keiths problem. 

***

”KEITH, WAKE THE FUCK UP”

Keith sprung out of bed into a sitting position for what felt like the hundredth time in the past twenty four hours, a strong pain hitting him like a truck in the head as he had head butted Lance on his way up. His body felt spent and sore and like he’d only slept for ten minutes and not a second more. 

“What the fuck Keith!?” Lance yelled as he stopped from his stumbling back from the hit to the head, his hand over his face to try and locate the damage. 

“It’s not me going around screaming in peoples ears you dipshit” Keith exclaimed as an answer as he also brought his hand up to his forehead to soothe the pain. 

“Hey guys, chill-“

”yeah well you wouldn’t wake up god dammit!” Lance uttered irritatedly as he brought his hand away from his face to stare at Keith with irritated eyes.

Keith tried to focus on putting on some clothes as fast as possible, but it was hard to ignore the eyes on him, although when he looked back up at Lance all he could see was naked skin and he immediately looked down in his lap again. Why did he have to think like that. 

“If you’re gonna scream then scream from a bit away at least” Keith muttered quietly as he started packing up his shower supplies with swift movements. _If you’re gonna scream then scream under me as I fuck you_ : was what Keith wanted to answer, but bit his lip to stop it from coming out. Lance snorted and walked over to his own bed to pick up his own bag. 

“Jeez mullet, waking up on the wrong side of the bed? Having some bad dreams?” Lance said in a baby voice as he walked to stand beside Hunk in front of the open door. The sun light was shining in through the gap, giving the room a pleasant warmth that Keith could appreciate for about a second before he went back to his signature frown. 

“Fuck off Lance” he answered even though all he could think of was: _I couldn’t sleep because all I dreamt about was fucking you senseless_. But he kept those thoughts to himself as he continued on.  

“How much ‘s the time?” He asked and pointedly looked at Hunk for an answer, ignoring Lances huff of disbelief. 

“Seven dude, you were sleeping pretty deep” Hunk answered and gave him an understanding smile, like he understood Keith was having a hard time waking up early even though he’d been there for almost two weeks. 

Keith nodded as a thanks and grabbed his bag to then go out the door with Hunk, Lance already on his way towards the showers, his hips swaying like he was made to walk that way.

***

“Hey Keith, could I talk to you for a moment?” Shiro asked in a quiet tone from behind him. 

Showering had gone great, ‘till the point where Lance had come out of the shower, wet, dripping, pink cheeks, honey skin, all naked legs and just a small towel around his waist, nothing to hide _anything_. And after the awkward moment of Keith ignoring Lance, and his comments, they all walked to the big cabin. Allura and Shiro had had a food war with Coran and Pidge standing in a corner, giving each other looks saying “I can’t belive they had to be this obvious,” so when they’d gotten there they’d been met by very happy (and very messy)  Allura and Shiro, and very pale Pidge and Coran. Then when they went to clean up the kitchen, Lance had picked up a still whole egg and tried to throw it at Keith to then miss by just an inch, making Keith push him up against a wall with, just maybe, a death threat flying out of his mouth. After cleaning up and eating breakfast, Lance, Hunk and Pidge had gone off on a mission to look for a perfect place to put up a tent (they were apparently not going to sleep there that night but they were just supposed to find a nice place by the water and with sun.) Keith had caught Lance opening his mouth to say something to him but then he’d also seen it close in the last second. Keith had just smirked back. So when they were gone, him, Allura, Coran and Shiro had seated themselves on the beach to just take it easy. Keith, with Ruby purring in his lap. Although it seemed eventually Shiro had gotten enough of Keith just sitting there like nothing was wrong. 

“Yeah sure, what’s up?” Keith answered as he stood up from his sitting position in the grass, looking up at Shiro with a small smile. He had just been reading a book to make time fly, plus it was an interesting book from a guy in a zombie apocalypses perspective, Keith thought at least. 

“Ah it’s not that much, I just wanna check how you’re doing” Shiro answered as he led the way away from Allura and Coran, towards the fireplace with the dream catchers that Keith had noticed on the first day. They hadn’t actually spent any time sitting there, at least not when Keith had been around... the rest of them probably had without him. 

“I’m—I’m good, it’s good” Keith clarifies and seats himself besides Shiro on the wooden stock, he looks at him with a hum and then starts again. 

“Is everything, good with Lance?” He questions and Keith could feel his cheeks starting to redden: _Lance, under him, covered in marks, bottom presented, cum leaking out—_

“I was just thinking, you two kinda had a... rocky start. I just want to know if you’re getting along. You two are, quiet the opposites when it comes to personalities” Shiro continued on and Keith was happy he had stopped his stupid way of thoughts. He really should just grow up and stop thinking of that fucking dream. 

“No it’s fine actually, I mean he’s still an annoying fuck but you don’t have to worry”— _moaning like he had dick all the way in so that it was showing on his stomach, crying out so that everyone would hear_ —

“Okay, well good... then I just wanted to ask you -Uhm-“ Shiro stuttered like he wasn’t really sure how to get whatever he was gonna say out loud, looking away from Keith with furrowed eyebrows. “Has he told you anything? About like... like what his dad said or you know... Uhm, what happened?” Shiro continued on as he looked up at Keith again, who was utterly confused. 

About what? Saying what? About why his dad had been yelling at him that Christmas? Lance barely knew him so why would he tell him?... Was Lance going to tell him?

”... No?” Keith answered more like a question after a while, looking at Shiro with a confused look. 

“Oh, okay. Well I just figured he would’ve by now” Shiro said with amusement but kept going before Keith could react. 

“Anyways, you are going with Hunk, Pidge and Lance out to set up tents in the middle of the woods because you can’t just sit around here all the time that is left of this camping trip” Shiro said with his typical dad tone, making Keith roll his eyes. 

“Why do I have to do that?” He asked with an unamused voice as he picked up a stick from the ground and broke it in small pieces even though he knew the answer.

“This is your opportunity to make friends and actually go away from your ‘I am a cool mysterious guy on a motorcycle’ shit because seriously Keith—“ Shiro leaned over to put a hand on Keiths shoulder—“you need to have fun -real fun- and here’s your opportunity” Shiro ended the sentence with and looked back at Keith with such a friendly smile it made the boys stomach grumble with guilt. That was right, this was for Shiro, he was here, for Shiro. Not to sit lonely in some corner and not do anything but tell people to go away, he had to just... open up a little bit at least. It was gonna be over soon, he just had to have... fun. 

”I know— it’s just” Keith started but quickly got interrupted.

“I know why, but I also know it’s hurting you” Shiro mumbled with a smirk and Keith smiled back, his brother was such a huggable big floof of cuteness... even though he looked like he could kill someone. 

***

It was six pm, and everyone had gotten back to the bigger cabin. Lance, Hunk and Pidge had come back with exiting news: Pidge had of course said it had been fun and then seated herself in a corner (stealing Ruby for a moment as well, the cat seeming pleased by her company) but Lance and a Hunk, especially Lance, had talked on and on about that cool place they’d found and how creepy and fun it was gonna be to sleep there. And all Keith could think about whilst helping in the progress of making dinner was that he should ask to come with, say that he would also enjoy creeping out into the woods, instead he just stood there in front of the counter, frustration seeping through him, and getting out on the paprika he was cutting.

”Keith, you have to treat the paprika like a baby, you need to care for it” Hunk said in a concerned tone as he noticed Keiths tense hold of the kitchen knife. 

The sentence made Pidge snort from the other side of the room: “care for it? Are you saying that you care for babies by cutting them in pieces and then cooking them?” Pidge asked and looked up at Hunk who rolled his eyes as an answer. 

Keith loosened his grip on the knife and looked over at Hunk with reasureness. 

“Yeah sorry— I’m just a little tired” Keith muttered quietly, hoping no one would catch that last part. But of course Lance always heard everything. 

“Yeah you are. You guys should have seen him this morning, he fucking flew out of bed and head butted me” Lance exclaimed as he  pointed his hand towards the barely visible bruise on his forehead. Keith rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but find the boy cute... shit. 

“Yeah well you were yelling right in my face” 

“it’s not my fault you never wake up mullet” 

“Hey, stop bullying my mullet, it’s better than your whole outfit”

”Exuces me. This is—“

”okay we get it guys, hey Lance? Didn’t get a new skin product before you got here?” Allura interrupted the two boys by saying, making Lance forget all about Keith as he whipped his head her way. 

“Yes, yes I did. It’s for your hands and face, and as long as you keep yourself hydrated it’ll make sure your skin stays soft, very good for cold winters since your skin always gets so dry, oh, and it smells of peppermint” Lance exclaimed in a fast pace, making Keith wonder how much of a life the boy actually had, if some girl was enjoying his soft skin on the weekends... also how soft his skin would be.

“As we’re talking about Lances beauty, he wouldn’t even let me enter McDonald’s on our way here, and I’m not that big of a McDonald’s fan but I almost starved to death in that car” Hunk said as he looked accusingly at Lance, with his own knife pointed at him.

“Greasy food isn’t good for your skin! Or your health either for that matter” Lance squeaked with an overdramatic tone, making Keith chuckle.

“And what are you laughing at mullet?” Lance muttered with his arms crossed over his chest. Keith couldn’t help but turn around completely to see Lances expression, leaning against the counter, smile on his face and an open expression. He wasn’t afraid to smile in front of them, something Shiro obviously noticed the way he was looking at him.

“At you being such a drama queen, what else would I laugh at?” Keith chuckled and couldn’t help but love the way Lances face scrunched up even more as he stood up to stand with his whole body length on display. And Keith really hoped Lance didn’t notice how he checked out his legs. 

“At least I don’t just sit inside all day playing video games, I also keep a check up on what I eat because McDonald’s is nasty... not as nasty as you though” Lance said and paused a bit to get back with the comeback and a smirk. Keith rolled his eyes and smiled. 

“You don’t even have all your facts right, how do you think I got my abs Lance? By sitting inside all day?” Keith said with raised eyebrows, looking like he felt sorry for Lance... who was blushing... he was blushing?

”yeah well -I’m- I’m better at -at picking up girls!” Lance stuttered, trying to come up with something with his face beet red of embarrassment. Keiths mind instantly wandered back to Laurel but he didn’t want to mention her, he knew Lance was embarrassed and sad when it came to her and Keith didn’t want to spray salt in his wounds since they were actually, finally, having just a friendly bicker. He was gonna say something else back but was interrupted by Pidge. 

“Sure Lance, even when it came to Laurel huh?”— Pidge said with ease, surprising Keith but making Lance blush instead, his eyes wandering away from Keiths face to instead turn around to look at Pidge with irritated eyes. Why hadn’t he gotten mad at her? Keith wondered with furrowed eyebrows before Pidge continued. —“sorry Lance, I had to”— she uttered with meaning eyes directed at Lance, like they were having a conversation through eying each other.—“But what I was gonna say is that Keith has to come with us out to the place we found tomorrow because if Lance sleeps alone in a tent he’ll end up shitting his pants even if he says he isn’t scared, and I wanna play a board game with Hunk in our tent so you’ll have to sleep with Lance” she continued on to Keith like it was the simplest thing ever as she petted a purring Ruby in her lap. Keith didn’t think much of it but it did make him happy the way she gave him an extra glance like it really was just an invite without a stupid reason behind it, although his cheeks got a little red at the thought of sleeping in a tent with Lance. Not as red as Lances though as the other boys cheeks had gone full tomato. 

“Why do I have to share a tent with mullet?!” Lance exclaimed with a far too serious tone. It was making Keith confused to why Lance was so irritated and... embarrassed? Since he hadn’t been before. 

“You already know the reason, I have to play games with Hunk and I’m not gonna do that outside”— Pidge explained before muttering—“also I’m tired of being the one that always has to sleep alone” 

“Well Pidge, that is because if Hunk slept alone he would surely have a heart attack... and cry a lot” Lance muttered back at her, his face not as red anymore but his posture still stale. Keith could feel something was off but he couldn’t figure out what. When he’d gotten to this place, Lance hadn’t been acting like this, Lance had been much more confident and even angry. Now he just seemed to be squirming in his place. 

***

Dancing shadows surrounded him, they were small and barely visible but they were there, on the walls, singing for him even though there was nothing that would be able to create that shadow. He knew this, he knew _this_ , he was in his first foster home, he had only been ten years old back then. He was ten again, his body felt small and thin and powerless and of course she had to take advantage of that, of course _Marnie_ had to take advantage of that. 

Keith turned to all the shadows, trying to escape, but they all just kept dancing, making his heart beat like a locomotive as they suddenly started to close in on him, leaving the walls to start dancing on the floor. He tried to yell for help for he knew what was coming, but his voice wouldn’t make a sound, and so he couldn’t move, petrified, standing still on the concrete floor as the dancers consumed him.

Suddenly he was tall again, looking down at his arms he could see he was his own size.

 _No scars_.

The dancers were gone and as he looked around he could see he was in a completely different place, in a house, _her_ house. To his right he could see the stairs going up to the second floor but he couldn’t see it, it was like if you went up the stairs you would end up in this black void. To his left were the pictures of her and her family, but now it was only her, big smile and terrifying eyes, staring Keith down. In front him, down the long corridor leading to the kitchen and the bathroom, was now void instead, black oil thick and consuming. 

Keirh wanted to run, he wanted to flee and never come back but the front door was out of sight, and his body was stuck again as soon as she made her appearance. Marnie stepped out of the void in front of him, a couple of meters away but still it made Keiths head stirr, he knew what was coming, and he knew he shouldn’t look but he couldn’t look away as her eyes rolled back in her head and the whiteness of her eyeballs made there presence. She laughed heartedly as Keith could feel himself start to hyperventilate. 

“I wish I could just throw you out you know, and if this wasn’t my home I would leave you just like your mommy— just like your daddy” She chuckled, picking up the kitchen knife from her pocket and dragging it against the wall, ruining the wallpaper, coming closer.

Keith wanted to hit her, to take the knife and throw it down on the floor and run but he just... couldn’t. 

“You’re so irritating, and _not_ a good boy, you were supposed to wash the dishes Keithy” she kept going, coming closer, stopping right in front of him and grabbing his left arm to then hold it in a tight grip. 

“It’s time for your punishment” and with that the blade cut through the skin of his arm, red streaking down his arm to his hands and fingers.

***

For the third time on the trip Keith flung out of bed, tears streaming down his face, his bangs sticking to his forehead with sweat. He was shaking, his right hand was squeezing his left arm and the scars in a tight grip. He didn’t wanna look at it, he didn’t want to see his childhood on his arm, he didn’t want to remember, not now. He just wanted it to be over, wanted to be able to sleep and not wake up until Lance and Hunk would wake him up to go to the showers. He wanted to just...

Eventually his body calmed down, his tears stopped coming, but it wasn’t over, he knew that, now it just felt empty with that uneasy feeling underneath. He felt sick.

With quiet movements Keith slipped out of his bed like everything was slow motion even though everything was going in normal time. The cool floor (that really wasn’t that cold) and air was making his wet body shiver, he wanted to shrink in on himself. He wanted to get to Shiro, he had always found comfort in his older brother, every time he’d had nightmares when he’d first gotten to Shiro and his parents, he had always gone to Shiro. When he needed a hug Shiro had always been there.

Sure, it was weird when you were supposed to be a grown up to go cry in your older brothers arms, but Keith really didn’t know what else to do because he had the opportunity to go to Shiro. When he didn’t have that opportunity and had a nightmare, he ended up having the most brutal panic attacks.

Keith slipped on his clothes with shaky fingers, the sweat on his body making it hard for him to get on his t-shirt. When his clothes were on he looked over to his bed ones again to see Ruby sleeping, god would it feel good to cuddle with her now, but he just couldn’t wake her up the way she was laying on her back in a peaceful slumber. So without any more hesitation, he opened the front door to step out on the porch. It wasn’t cold, it was hotter than he had expected, but still the slightest puffs of air made him shiver. 

Keith started walking, his arms crossed over his chest, bare feet colliding with the ground. He didn’t want to look, he didn’t even want to _think_. This was what happened when he thought she was gone, when he thought he had gotten over his childhood, and he knew that he would be okay the next morning, but it still hurt and frustrated him and he just... he just wanted to be able to live like a normal guy. That he was social, and fine, and could trust people, trust society. 

Soon Keith was standing in front of the big cabin, everything quiet and still, like the house could be apart of a horror movie. He didn’t know what the time was, he hadn’t brung his phone. With shaky legs he went up on the porch and, as quietly as possible, opened the door. 

It was dark inside, but the moonlight that was shining in through the windows lit it up enough for him to see where he was going. He went up the stairs. Finding Shiros room, he needed to find Shiro. 

And he was planning to, until he stopped abruptly at hearing a soft sniffle from behind one of the doors that he went by. And he couldn’t help but lean in closer to the door, listening for more sings that someone was in there, trying to be as quite as possible so that he wouldn’t disturb whoever was there. After a couple seconds of having his ear closely pressed to the door, he could hear a small chuckle. _Lance_. 

Why was Lance awake? Why was he -crying? And... laughing at the same time?

Without being able to stop himself, Keith took a hold of the door handle and carefully opened to door. Lance jumped at the sound of the door opening and quickly stood up from his sitting position, wiping his eyes before realizing Keith had been the one to open the door, and then blushing slightly, avoiding Keiths eyes. 

“Lance?” Keith asked in a confused tone, he was too disoriented for this —why was Lance awake at this hour? 

“What do you want?” Lance asked as he clenched his fists and pointedly stepped in front of a box placed on the floor, trying to hide it from Keiths searching eyes. 

“What were you looking at?” Keith asked with a dry throat as he stepped closer, Lance giving him a warning stare that Keith ignored before he was standing in front of the box. There were pictures, in frames, a photo album, it was open at a page with two lookalike boys running around in the sun, and small stuff such as a doll with long dark hair and a detailed blue dress.

”Nothing” Lance said silently, looking down at Keith as he sat down in front of the box. Keith wasn’t convinced. 

“Is this -is this you?” Keith asked quietly and pointed at the bigger boy in the picture on the photo albums page, looking up at Lance with furrowed eyebrows, not knowing what he was expecting or what he was saying but just knew that he needed human contact to forget about his stupid dreams. And it had actually seemed to help a little because he had stopped shaking.

“...yep” Lance said with a gulp as he sat down next to Keith, trying to look unbothered but Keith could see that was not the case. “I was ten” he then continued, staring down at the picture with a small smile, making Keith smile. _Ten_ , Keith was ten when _it_ happened, what if he would’ve known Lance at the time, Lance probably would’ve been the one to make fun of him the most but what if little Lance would’ve noticed the wound on his left arm and wondered where it would’ve come from. 

“Is that your brother?” Keith asked again and pointed at the other boy, that was looking up at Lance like he was a god. Lance shifted positions and leaned in a little closer, avoiding Keiths eyes still. 

“... yep” he said and Keith couldn’t help but try to end that sentence. 

“The one that got—?” 

“Yeah” Lance interrupted him by saying. 

“Lance” Keith muttered and looked down at the picture again, looking at how happy and innocent Lance was there. Looking at his little brother that obviously looked up to him so much. 

“Why were you crying?” Keith asked with a monotone voice, feeling his body getting tense at the thought of Lance being sad, he didn’t want Lance to be sad. He wanted him to be as happy as he’d obviously be in the picture. 

Lance didn’t say anything, and when Keith looked at him he looked away, cheeks flushed. He was embarrassed. 

“Why are you ashamed?” Keith then asked, he was confused, he didn’t get it. Crying was natural.

That’s when Lance finally looked at him, eyebrows furrowed and mouth thin. Keith could see his body was tense, but he still didn’t get it, Lance hadn’t been this way the other time he’d cried in front of Keith. It almost irritated him the way he didn’t understand Lance sometimes, right now. He didn’t understand the change of attitude, was there something he had done to piss Lance off?

”I shouldn’t cry! I’m a grown up, I’m -I’m a guy!” Lance exclaimed with red cheeks, eyes watering ones again, he was looking like a baby according to Keith. And Keith really wanted to say that, to tell him he was being childish and stupid and of course guys were allowed to cry as well but he gritted his teeth and ignored all this thoughts. There was no point in getting mad. 

“Why do you say that?” Keith asked with confusion, eyes pleading for an answer, searching for Lances answer by looking at his face. 

“It’s not —it’s not natural— and it’s bad for your skin, I don’t”— Lance tried to get out like he knew himself that he was being silly, but still it seemed the words were affecting him. Someone had told Lance that, someone like his family. Keith clenched his fists with irritation. Lance and his stupid family. Why did Lance have to have such a _stupid family_. 

“You know that’s just silly” Keith said as he stood up, ignoring all his thoughts telling him he shouldn’t have said that. He was looking down at Lances flushed face looking up at him, suddenly a picture from his dirty mind flashed by of Lance on his knees in front of him, staring up at him with hooded eyes whilst sucking on his tip— _fuck you take cock so good_. 

Keith flushed at the thought but ignored it as he stared Lance down.

“Yeah well I’m sorry for being so silly” Lance uttered through gritted teeth, obviously getting enough of it. Not looking at Keith, not even wanting to know that he was there, but Keith could still see the sad features in Lances face and posture. So he cleared his throat and corrected himself.

“You’re not silly Lance, but it’s silly to think you’re not allowed to cry. You need to cry and you know it”Keith said with a much more calmer and soothing voice, reaching a hand down for Lance to grab. A non-shaking hand.  

“Let’s get back okay, we have a big day tomorrow and we both need all the sleep we can get” he said and stared down at Lance, looked at his blank eyes, his slightly open mouth, his innocent facial expression. So _cute_.

“‘Kay” Lance whispered and grabbed Keiths hand to then pull himself up to a standing position, just a couple inches away from Keiths intense face. Keith clutched hard at Lances hand before letting it go completely, taking a step forward to start walking towards the door but getting stopped by Lances hand grabbing his again. Keith turned around to see desperate eyes and then red cheeks as Lance let go as fast as he had reached out. 

“Sorry” he said quietly. 

“It’s okay” Keith murmured and reached out his hand again, waiting a moment until Lance let go of his hesitation and took his hand in Keiths. 

“Was that why Allura and the rest of the guys got so quiet when you went upstairs the second day here?” Keith asked after a while of walking, they were on their way back to their cabin, still walking hand in hand. Keith couldn’t really care and played it cool even though he was pretty excited on the inside, Lance on the other hand seemed to never stop freaking out according to Keith: his face was constantly red, he kept quiet and seemed to stumble a bit with every step he took. It was so darn adorable Keith was having a hard time suppressing laughs every time he caught Lance glancing at him, god he was acting like a school girl trying to read for the class. 

“What?” Lance asked with surprise, looking up from their connected hands to stare at Keith with confused eyes. Lance really was so not-smooth.

“You went upstairs the second day from when we got here and everyone downstairs at breakfast were acting like it was a fucking funeral”— Keith said and then added; —“even Pidge got quiet” Keith then added and looked at Lance with a smile... shit he was starting to feel like Shiro the way he was acting. He never got like this with anyone, he picked fights, he was annoying and irritating and quiet, he didn’t hold hands and asked about peoples personal-life. 

“Oh... yeah I was just —reliving old memories, I mean I love it here but I mean this place is basically my whole childhood and I —I can never get back to that you know, it can never be that way anymore” Lance explained with his eyes in the ground, hand gripping onto Keiths in a tight grip. 

“Because of what happened to your brother?” Keith asked before he could stop himself, he could see the cabin in the distance and he didn’t want this moment to stop, wanted to know what Lance was gonna answer before it was too late. Wanted to hold on to his hand. 

“Well I guess -but I mean- just life and hormones and relationships ,and shit, in general” Lance mumbled quickly, and Keith couldn’t help but wanting to point out the elephant in the room. 

“... like, what happened that Christmas?” Keith asked with the most peaceful voice he could manage, and looked at Lance with hopeful eyes. Lance bit his lip at that question and his hand suddenly started to slide out of Keiths, his hands searching their way into his jeans-pockets instead. Shit.   

Lance didn’t answer, instead they both just made their way up the small amount of stairs and quietly stepped inside their cabin. Avoiding each other’s eyes (and just each other in general) as they undressed and got in bed. 

“Night” Lance mumbled quietly. 

“Night” Keith answered just as quietly to then quickly fall asleep. 

He didn’t have anymore nightmares. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY IT WAS SUCH A LONG TIME AGO I POSTED A CHAPTER, but I hope you don’t hate me and I hope you liked reading this one.


	12. Truth or dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday—Saturday

Keith didn’t flung himself out of bed—again—but he did wake up sweating like a polar bear on a sunny beach. It was hot, hotter than usual, and he could barely breathe as he slowly opened his eyes, body completely drenched. 

“Shit” he sighed and drew back the covers so that he could sit up, his body felt sore and his head dizzy, and once again it felt like he hadn’t slept at all, brain all groggy.

”You’re up, I was just about to wake you” Hunk uttered with a smile from where he was standing in the doorway, clothes on and his backpack thrown over one of his shoulders. Keith whirled his way and rubbed his eyes to then look up again, looking around to try and find what he was searching for: he had expected to hear some kind of snarky comment from Lance but none came. Lance was still in bed, laying on his back, his peaceful expression and slightly ajar mouth exposed to the beautiful sunlight. He looked just as peaceful as he had in that picture of him and his brother. 

“He didn’t wake by the alarm clock and that’s a sign to let him sleep in... at least for a little bit” Hunk answered to Keiths unasked question, obviously noticing Keiths eyes on Lances sleeping body. No wonder he was tired, it had been late when they had gotten back... hand in hand (Lance had really soft hands Keith had also noticed, that skin product really was doing a good job.) Keith swallowed. 

“You can go now if you want, it’ll take some time getting fixed and then I can wake him up, so that he at least gets a little more sleep. I’ll wait for him” Keith muttered to Hunk without taking his eyes off Lance (...soft hands.) Hunk only nodded before making his way out, leaving the door open to let some fresh air come in. Good idea from Hunks side, Keith thought, since Lance must’ve been just as sweaty as he was. 

Keith got out of bed, got dressed, packed his things, and drank some water from the small fridge they had placed in the corner of the room. After that he had to enjoy the beautiful sunlight (and the beautiful Lance) before waking up the other boy in the room, making sure to enjoy the quiet air before it was filled with the most annoying (read: prettiest) voice ever. 

“Hey Lance, wake up” Keith said in an almost whisper as he shook him slightly, Lance not even flinching. _Fucking Lance, did he take pills before going to bed?_ —Keith thought as he shook the boy again, a bit more violently. Lance did move and groaned quietly but didn’t wake up, making Keith wonder if he was gonna have to slap him. _Slap that cute little ass_ — _shit_ , _stop thinking like that_. 

“C’mon Lancye-Lance, it’s time to show the world your greatness and let them hear your annoying voice” Keith muttered in a careless tone and tapped Lance on the nose, making the boy smile. Cute. Was Lance ticklish? There was only one way to find out, Keith thought with a smirk. 

Keith started by bringing his hand down to Lances neck, dragging his fingers over the skin, making Lance flinch and shudder, the smile growing bigger. Keith smirked, and before he could stop himself, he dug his fingers into Lances stomach with only the thin covers between, making Lance spasm and laugh uncontrollably until he woke up, confused, but still laughing and breathing hard. 

“Oh my god Keith stop— stop! Ke-e-ith, stop!” Lance laughed as he tried to get the hands away from him but Keith was stronger as he put one of his knees on the bed and leaned over Lance to reach his hands over the whole of him, capturing Lance under his body. Lance couldn’t open his eyes until Keith finally stopped and instead let one of his hands rest on Lances abdomen, the other beside the boys face. 

Keith couldn’t help himself as he stared into those blue eyes, the sea, blue, the sky, the water, the dress his mother had worn before she left him, blue. Blue. Beautiful. And Lance... and awkward. And flushing. And stuttering? He was staring! _Why was he staring_!?

”Uhm” Lance coughed awkwardly when Keith hadn’t let him go yet, his eyes anywhere but Keiths face, cheeks flushed and body tense. Keith quickly retreated his hands and lifted himself of off the bed, eyes wandering away from Lance as he could feel himself starting to redden just like Lance.  _Who the hell just stares at someone like that? And why did he have to tickle him! You don’t just tickle people like that— that’s just weird!_ Keiththought, too caught up on his own hate against himself to notice Lance getting out of bed. And when he looked back all he could see was Lances toned stomach as the boy clothed himself. _Fuck_. 

“Hunk left a while ago, said I should let you sleep since you hadn’t woken by the alarm” Keith uttered awkwardly, trying to stare at Lances eyes and hair instead of his pink nipples, looking delicious against his tan skin. They were probably just as soft and smooth as the boys hands. 

“Well, smart move on Hunks end” Lance sighed as he dragged on some pants (over smooth thighs...) and looked at Keith with a ‘I-probably-would-have-killed-you-if-you’d-woken-me-up-any-earlier’ glare.

”So, ready to go?” Keith asked as Lance quickly pushed down the stuff he needed in his bag, his own backpack thrown over his shoulder. 

"Yeah, how about you _dulce_?" Lance shot back with his signature smirk, like he was so fucking proud of that comment that he had to throw it in Keiths face... or maybe he was insecure, and was trying to compensate in masculinity since he had cried in front of Keith last night (again)? Keith didn't know, he was just speculating, so of course he rolled his eyes at Lances nickname anyways. Lance threw his backpack over his shoulder and turned away from Keith to go open the front door, turning to Keith right before he walked out and gestured with his hands for Keith to go first. Keith gave him a quizzical look and Lance shrugged with a I-didn't-do-anything look. 

"I just thought ladies first ya´ know" He muttered and, okay, he was getting on Keiths nerves. Keith took one big step towards Lance and gave him a death glare. He did not have the energy for Lances bullshit right now, he was tiered and still dealing with the fact that Lances ass looked so goddamn _tight_ in those shorts of his. 

"Oh you're a guy! I just thought with the long hair and everything" Lance continued with a sarcastic tone, biting his bottom lip when he was done talking, the action stealing Keiths eyes only for one second too long. Next he brought his hand up to Lances shoulder and gave it a hard squeeze, and oh, it seemed that Lance had finally realized how close they were to each other since he first blushed and then put two hands on his chest to push him away, expression irritated and... frustrated, embarrassed? 

"Stop getting so close to me dude" Lance said harshly, looking at Keith like he was trying to stare him down, of course without any success. Keith snorted and looked back at Lance with a ‘seriously’ look on his face, but the intensity of Lances voice still made him put his hands in his pockets and stay in his place. 

“So now you don’t want me close? you weren’t complaining last night when we held hands all the way here” Keith exclaimed with an irritated tone, looking at Lance with his signature glare. Lances eyebrows knitter themselves so close together that Keith thought he’d might have gotten a unibrow, and took a small step back, out on the porch, with a disgusted look in his eyes.

“That’s not the same thing!” He yelled, mad, angry, was he really angry with Keith because of that? A simple touch to his shoulder? 

“So you didn’t want to hold hands?” Keith asked with a skeptical tone. Lances face blushing but still hard and irritated.

“Look Keith”—he started, eyes staring into Keiths, his face not as red but his posture as stale as ever. —“I get your lifestyle, and I respect you, but not every guy you meet is gay and I don’t wanna be with you like that, ever, okay?” Lance said, fast but calm, like he was trying to get it all out even though he was choking on it, and even Keith could hear the unsureness in the boys voice but he just couldn’t care less. Lance had officially stepped over a line. 

Keith snorted, trying to stare Lance down so that the guy would say sorry, or say it was a joke, or break eye contact, but Lance stood still, mouth thin and hands in a tight grip. Keith realized Lance hadn’t been joking, that had been what Lance had meant, Lance had probably been wanting to say that since Keith had told him, waiting to tell him how weird he was, how wrong it was, how he was sick. What a fucking asshole. 

“Okay, thanks for your opinion” Keith shot back with a calm smile, walking past Lance, pushing him to the side with his shoulder, making his way to the showers and hoping Lance would just shut up for once. 

***

Lance didn’t hold Keiths hand on their way to the showers, Lance and Keith actually didn’t even talk. Keith had obviously gotten there before Lance, and made sure that he had showered quickly. And once he’d been done, that’s when Lance had gotten there, so it was obvious he had been waiting at the cabin to make sure Keith had gotten time to shower alone. _Like he was scared he was gonna fucking kill him. Or worse: be gay in front of him_ — Keith had thought whilst walking to the big cabin. Once there, Keith had sat himself down on the table, making sure to sit in between Pidge and Shiro so that Lance wouldn’t come near him. 

“Morning Keith” Shiro exclaimed dizzily, usual kind smile on his lips, as he gave Coran the yogurt he had asked for. Keith gave his brother a small smile as an answer as he started to pour some tea into his cup. Eating breakfast at this place had become a routine long time ago for Keith, and now it didn’t even feel off that he was eating with a group of people. 

“You look like you haven’t slept at all, basically you look like shit... but so do I so it’s no big deal” Pidge muttered tiredly from beside him, her face looking kinda dreamy like she didn’t really know what she was doing.

”Thank you Pidge, I appreciate your honesty” Keith chuckled back as he took a bite of Hunks pancakes that he’d made before Keith had gotten there. And they were still fucking delicious. 

“‘Well, as my mother always told me, you have to be honest’ said my mom never, she literally didn’t give a shit—anyway, what I wanted to ask was, Keith, are you ready for our adventure out in the wild jungle?” Pidge asked after her sarcastic muttering, looking over to Keith with raised eyebrows. 

“Pidge-first of all: no”— Keith answered bluntly before continuing—“secondly: how could I be ready? I don’t even know what I need to bring or what I have to do” he then said with as much feeling he could put into his words. Pidge then started raising fingers on what to do, counting down the different things needed.

In the end Keith knew that he basically wasn’t gonna have to do anything, which was fine by him, as long as he could chill with Ruby and drink his tea then life would be great. What Pidge did say though, that caught his attention, was that he needed to; be prepared for sudden climbing adventures in trees (which he was absolutely loving btw),know that Pidge were going to be talking to Hunk about sciencey stuff so that Keith would be left with Lance for socializing (that part he loved a bit less), that he had to bring swim shorts since they were gonna go somewhere near water, and that all the other stuff, such as tents and water etc, Hunk would take care off (in which Pidges words lead: “It started when Lance hadn’t taken all he needed with him, so that Hunk had had to share a bunch of stuff, and ever since then Hunk has been dead set on keeping everything in check. Don’t even try to talk him out of it, he won’t listen.) 

Keith had merely answered with an “okay” and then getting interrupted by the front door opening, a flushed Lance stepping inside, not even giving Keith a glance. 

“Morning Lance” Hunk, Allura and Shiro announced, Pidge was still looking at Keith to keep the conversation running, but Keith ignored her to stare at Lance instead, because... he couldn’t help it.

“Morning my fellow dudies’, and hello Pidge to you too. That statement meaning ‘how could you be so occupied you can’t even say good morning to your best friend?’” Lance exclaimed with a faked hurt tone, looking at Pidge as he squeezed his shirt to show just how _extremely_ discriminated he felt. Keith realized Lance wasn’t going to look at him, just be the normal funny Lance that everyone could laugh at, not even sending a glance Keiths way as he put on his signature smile. Although... the guy did look kinda stale, kinda super stale, but still his cheeks were flushed an obscene amount of red. Did that have anything to do with their argument? Was he that angry? 

“So you care that I didn’t say anything but Keith gets a free pass? Man, now I’m jealous” Pidge answered, muttering that last part, and making Lances posture turn even more stale. He gave Keith a look, it was pretty empty and filled with something looking like disgust, but also a bunch of other feelings, panic, sadness... regret? Keith wasn’t able to really understand Lance during that short time of eye contact but he was truly acting weird. 

“Well yeah, Keith isn’t my ‘best friend’ Pidge” Lance looked over to Pidge, putting his hand on the table and leaning over it and then spitting it in her face with a sarcastic tone. When he was gonna stand straight again he made a face of discomfort and all Keith could think was: _that’s gotta be because he came so close to me again, thinking I’m so disgusting he can’t even be near me. Asshole_. 

“Meh, think what you want but you and Keith are kinda close, but I don’t really care”— Keith could feel his breakfast getting stuck in his throat, coughing uncontrollably, and he could see Lances cheeks turn red as his eyebrows knitted together at her words —“what I do care about is if you are ready to start walking when we’ve finished breakfast?” Pidge questioned with a dead set tone, Hunk shouting out a small: “I’m so proud of my little Pidge that makes sure that Lance is ready” in a much happier tone, making Pidge fake gag in remark. Hunk sighed like a parent irritated with their childs behavior, and asked Lance the same question.

”Uuuuh... shit—I might’ve forgotten something I’m sorry guys I’ll go get it!” Lance stumbled on his words, turning to the door to walk out and go get his things, but got stopped by Shiro putting a firm hand on his shoulder. 

“Breakfast first Lance, or, I know that, you’ll be complain to them that you’re hungry and I don’t want to bring them that pain” Shiro said with a kind smile (that everyone knew was really seeping with sassiness.) Lance frowned but turned to go sit at the table, on the other end of the table so that he could look straight into Keiths eyes without turning his whole head and looking suspicious. That was something he took advantage of during the whole meal, glancing at Keith with a thin mouth, and honestly, it was pissing Keith off to point were he thought he’d might snap. What had he done?! If Lance was so cool with him being gay then _why_ was he staring so obsessively at him? 

Keoth didn’t get an answer to that question and was left completely alone with his thoughts for the rest of the meal. 

***

After the meal, and after Lance running to get his stuff, they all said goodbye to Shiro, Allura and Coran, and started walking. First they were just walking on a trail beside the shoreline, but after about thirty minutes the trail changed direction and they started walking into the forest instead. Obviously Hunk and Pidge (not so much Lance since his sense of direction was literally shit) knew the way, Keith just had to walk, which was easy enough, except it was so fucking hot they all ended up sweating like polar bears on a sunny beach, (writers input: I had to use that joke again I’m sorry I know it’s shit.) After two hours of walking, Hunk and Pidge had taken off at least one piece of clothing, Hunk walking around barefoot, Keith staying strong in his shorts and T-shirt even though he was dying, and Lance with nothing but his swimming trunks, his shoes in hand. And even though they had all stripped down to almost no fabric on, they were still dying of the heat. They really had to take a swim once they got there. 

“Is there any type of lake where we are going?” Keith asked since he had to know so that he wouldn’t get too disappointed. 

“Yeah there is actually, it’s like a small lagoon, and I seriously can’t wait to dive into it” Hunk answered with a dreamy expression, glancing up at the sun shining through the tall trees. Pidge grunted in agreement and Keith breathed out a relived sigh. 

“Heck yeah Hunk, I’m going with you on that one” Lance exclaimed with a smirk as he jumped a few steps at the thought of cooling water against his skin. Keith couldn’t help but think about that as well, cooling water againts Lance skin. _Yes_. But as soon as he glanced over at Lance, all he could think of was that disgusted look on his face when Keith had put a hand on his shoulder that morning. 

Keith muttered quietly for himself,   irritated at the fact that Lance would act like that, annoyed that he just couldn’t do anything about it. He was so out of control it was painful to look at Lance, especially when he had such dirty desires including the guy. 

Suddenly, Lance slowed down with a pained grown, and it obviously he hadn’t wanted anyone to hear but it was loud enough for everyone to spare him questioning glances. 

“You okay Lance?” Hunk asked with a worried tone, slowing to a stop, making everyone stop in their place as well, Lance turning around so he could face the three of them. Lance was quiet, and so Keith could hear and appreciate the birds concert for them, echoing through the trees. Lance was so quiet you could even hear the wind, his face was painted with furrowed eyebrows and biting his lips nervously. He really didn’t want to answer that question, and so Keith wanted to know the answer much more. 

“Yeah, you look like you’ve got something stuck up your ass?” Pidge deadpanned more like a question, ignoring Hunks glare of disappointment because of how blunt she was, but Lances face instantly heated up like Pidge had told him his eyes were beautiful, in a non ironic way. 

“Wha— come on guys I just—I-I just twisted my foot. I’m fine!” Lance exclaimed whilst bringing his hands up in front of him like he was trying to defend himself. His cheeks were crimson, and his body even staler than before, did he really just twist his foot Keith thought. No. No there was something else. Although Hunk and Pidge seemed happy with the answer like it was completely normal for Lance to be that weird without any context, so they all just decided to keep going. 

“Sure buddy, lets just get there so we can chill in the lagoon” Pidge muttered whilst she wiped off the sweat from her forehead with her shirt, looking completely drained. 

After just ten minutes, all of it was forgotten, from time to time Lance would slow down to something looking like a limp, but it was such small things no one but Keith noticed. Lance had not just sprained his foot, it was obvious. But what could Keith do about it, he shouldn’t be nosy, he shouldn’t ask. He’s not gonna ask, no.  

Keith grumbled quietly and glanced over at Lance with a frown, the boy jumping around with his shoes in hand, his honey skin shining in the sun, a thin sheen of sweat on the back that Keith was walking behind. He really was beautiful.

***

At five pm, they were finally there, and Keith could honestly admit that it looked amazing. The place was just an average glade, but you could see the lagoon, that then poured out into a small river, from where the fireplace where. The reason to why you could see the whole lagoon in it’s full beauty was because the camping place was on, a bit of, a cliff. It would be easy to fit in two tents a bit away from each other as well. 

As soon as they got there, Hunk, Pidge and Lance changed to swimwear and jumped into the water, or, Lance and Pidge jumped from the cliff, Hunk walking down a bit so he wouldn’t have to jump from such a big height (it wasn’t that high but Hunk was gonna make sure he wouldn't die but to take it easy.) Keith wanted to as well, but his introvert got the best of him and so, he instead started on a fire, to then start making dinner. 

After just fifteen minutes, Pidge came back to help Keith with the food, but instead went on to setting up the tents since Keith convinced her he knew what he was doing, and that the food wouldn’t turn out shit. Hunk and Lance stayed in the water a little longer, looking like they were deep in conversation about something, but Keith couldn’t care less, they were probably just talking about how disgusting he was for being gay anyway. 

After a while, the tents were up, the dinner was done and both Hunk and Lance was out of the water, Lances hair sticking out in weird places after he’d dried it a little bit. They ate dinner with interesting conversations rolling around between them, Hunk, Lance and Pidge were all three talking enthusiastically about different things, whilst Keith kept quiet, focusing on his food. He wasn’t sad or anything, just confused, but mostly frustrated... but he also felt like a burden. Should he even be here? Lance obviously didn’t like him and did the others feel the same? Was he just there because he was Shiros brother? Yes he was but was that the _only_ reason to why they all were being so _disgustingly_ nice? He felt like such a... substitute to his brother, a substitute to a new friend in the friend group. 

What was he doing there? 

When Keith has eaten up his food he couldn’t have left faster, crawling into his tent to pack up his things and fix with his sleeping place. Whilst doing so he remembered he was supposed to share the tent with Lance. Would Lance even want to sleep in there with him? Could he really sleep with such a _dirty homosexual human being_? Maybe Keith was going to _sexually harass_ him? 

Keith chuckled at the stupidity of that, but then sighed as he thought about the fact that Lance might actually be thinking like that. Like Keith would actually be able to that just because he’s gay and Lance is an individual with male genitalia. 

After he was done with fixing up in his tent, he went outside to be met with a beautiful sunset, and all the three of the other people there sitting on the cliff, looking at it. They all looked like little kids Keith realized and quickly took out his phone to take some pictures of them, the beautiful sunset in the background. When he was done he went to sit down next to them. 

“Man, _this_ is the reason why I’m here” Lance sighed happily after about a minute of silence, making Pidge snort. 

“So it’s not because of your amazing friends? Thank you Lance I really appreciate that” Pidge scolded and rolled her eyes at Lance. Keith chuckled slightly while Lances grin turned into a pout. He shifted his stance a bit to seat himself with his arms around his knees, putting his chin on the right one. Cute. 

“Well... I mean I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you guys so like—I wouldn’t be happy if I was here alone because then I wouldn’t— uh” Lance mumbled against his knees, eyes stuck on the water below them. It was obvious he felt safe here Keith concluded, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to say any of that, if hadn’t felt safe he would’ve joked and shot Pidge finger guns. At least he was great full... to Pidge and Hunk. Keith shifter away a bit awkwardly and gritted his teeth. 

“Aww, no problem bro. You know we wouldn’t be here without you either” Hunk exclaimed with a heartfelt smile, giving Lance a clap on the back. 

“Thanks Hu—“ 

“Please stop being cheesy in presence, I will gag” Pidge muttered with a stale figure, but you could see that even she wanted to join in on the conversation and say something cheesy.

“Oh come on, you know you love us” Lance said with a ‘really-bitch’ tone, letting go of his knees and going back to comfortable, loud Lance in seconds. Pidge snorted but kept quiet.

After a while, the sun had gone down, and there was just the moon light and the fire Pidge had done left to light up the forest. They had all gone back to the tents and the fireplace after the sun had completely disappeared, and by the time that Pidge was done with the fire the air had gotten a little chillier and the sky a pale color of dark blue. Small, dark clouds floating on the sky painted with white, glistening stars, no sound but their steps and talking to fill the quiet forest. Lance had brung out the beer they had taken with them, so now they were sitting around the fireplace, eating s’mores and drinking. It was now eleven pm and it had been quiet for a while since Keith had seated himself with the others and grabbed a beer to sip on. They were all quite drunk by this point but it was obvious Lance was the most affected one. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were dizzy, he was grinning and laughing hard, not afraid to say what came to his mind, and changing his sitting position way too often to be sober. He was really adorable was all that Keith could think, the thoughts had gotten worse the more he had drunk, now he wasn’t just flushed from alcohol but also from just, watching Lance. 

Suddenly, Pidge stood up from her place, making everyone quiet down and look at her. She raised her arms over her head, beer in one hand, declaring: 

“It is time for: truth or dare” she exclaimed whilst just a moment later finishing her beer in one swoop, then putting down the empty bottle on the ground to then knock it over with her foot. She seated herself again, and without anyone’s agreement, spun the bottle.

And so the game begun. 

“Soooo, Hunk. Truth or dare?” Pidge asked the flustered Hunk. He was seated like a big dog wanting to take up as little space as possible, he was drunk as well, overly affectionate and happy, but also like a little boy since all his cover up was gone, giggling at all the dirty jokes Pidge and Lance had told during the night so far. Keith liked drunk Hunk, he was a nice happy drunk which Keith couldn’t complain about. 

“Uuh—Uhm... truth” Hunk answered quietly after a while of thinking. Pidge rolled her eyes with a ‘booooring’ but went with it anyway.

”okay. When are you going to stop being a pussy and ask Shay out?” Pidge asked, making Lance spit out his beer with laughter and Hunks cheeks blossoming into a pink mess. 

“Yo—You can’t just ask that!” Hunk yelled with his body rigid. Keith couldn’t help but wonder to himself who Shay was and why the topic seemed to have so much tension around it but was answered quickly by Pidge. 

“Hunk—first of all this is truth or dare I can ask fuck I want. Second of all, you’ve been pining for months bro, you gotta do something about it” Pidge nagged on. 

“I will! Just... I have a plan okay, I will—I’ll ask her to just a casual dinner and it’ll just be a get to know each other,.. thing” Hunk stuttered, obviously not sure what to say. Pidge though, did not look happy with that answer, humming sarcastically. 

“Look it’ll be a cozy movie night at my place, I will cook! I don’t really know what yet but definitely apple pie as dessert” he exclaimed to try and satisfy Pidge. 

“When?” Pidge questioned. 

Hunk shifted weight awkwardly, staring down in his hands, playing with his fingers. All Keith could conclude to was that Shay was some chick Hunk knew and obviously liked, as he took another sip of his beer. 

“...I was planning on doing it after the bakery has opened” Hunk declared quietly, both Pidge and Lance cheering him on with ‘good lucks’ and ‘she totally digs you’. 

After that Hunk spun the bottle, happy that his turn was over. After a couple seconds it stopped on Lance, who giggled excitedly and gave Hunk an anticipated glance. 

“Truth or dare?” Hunk asked with a small gesture of his hand. Lance nodded his head sideways for a while whilst tapping his finger against his chin, pretending to having a hard time choosing. 

“Truth” Lance answered with a bite of his lips, making Keith stare at them for a bit too long, and for Pidge to mutter a quiet ‘pussy’ disguised with a cough. 

“Okay... how was your relationship with Laurel, like, how was she?” Hunk asked shyly, scared to make Lance sad. Pidge sucked in a long breath between her teeth like an ‘ouch, you shouldn’t have said that’. Keith as well, felt a bit uneasy by the question, scared that Lances good mood would suddenly get ruined.

Hunk was obviously very interested but seemed to have not had the courage to ask earlier since everything with Laurel had been hard on Lance—with the cheating and all, and Keith could only assume he was asking now because Lance seemed so happy at the moment.

“Heh, it was hella boring—“ Lance chuckled before taking a sip of his beer, bringing everyone’s attention back to him “—I know she’s your cousin and all but man, she was just kinda annoying, or I mean—I guess she was nice but she just... really couldn’t satisfy me if you know what I mean” Lance cut himself of by winking at the very confused Hunk and Pidge. “She was really boring in bed, I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy she moved on to left her” Lance continued with, nothing but a casual smile on his face. 

“Uhm... wow, you really moved on huh?” Hunk stated more like a question, a bit confused about that answer, just as confused as Pidge as her eyebrows were high up on her forehead, a confused laugh exiting her mouth.

”Yeah dude, you weren’t as chill with this before” Pidge exclaimed with a uncomfortable smile. Lance just shrugged and looked back at the two with a unbothered look.

Keith on the other hand, was not unbothered: Lance didn’t... care, like, at all? The way he was talking it sounded like Laurel was nothing to him. Keith felt himself getting riled up at that, the thought of Lance not caring about her and saying she had been _boring_. All he could think was that there was a chance Lance could like him because he was obviously over his ex, he knew it wasn’t true, but he couldn’t help but wish. 

“Meh I don’t know—well, my turn” Lance shrugged and brought his hand out to spin the bottle, bringing Keith back from his thoughts, looking around him to see if any of the others had noticed him zoning out. They hadn’t.

Hunk just nodded in affirmation and moved on, Pidge doing the same.

The bottle landed on Pidge next.

”Ha! Pidge, my cute little pigeon—“ (She definitely frowned at pigeon) “—truth or daaaare” Lance sang out to Pidge, smirking evilly at her.

“Truth” she muttered quickly.

“Booooring, who’s a pussy now huh?” Lance laughed.

”Just get on with it you prick”

Lance brought his beer to his lips, tilting it just slightly, but not enough that the liquid could get into his mouth. 

“Who was the last person you had sex with?” 

Hunk started spluttering weird noises that didn’t sound like anything near words, Pidge started coughing violently until she stopped and just blushed, and Keiths eyebrows shot up to his forhead in surprise. All while Lance just sat there, looking like an innocent child as he stared at Pidge with a smug grin. 

“Uhm—“ Pidge stuttered, her whole posture stale. 

“Come on, you have to say it” Lance poked her with. 

“Uh, it was... it was Emma” Pidge admitted, defeated, as she right after looked up at Lance with an angry pout. 

“I knew it! I knew there had to be a reason to why she was staring at you like you were a hot piece of cake—so who topped and who—“ 

“Wait! Emma? Like, chemistry Emma?!” Hunk exclaimed like if his mom had told him where children came from, interrupting Lances inappropriate questions and statements. 

“Yes okay! That Emma” Pidge muttered, eyes sharp on Lance. 

“Come oooon, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, although I do want to know who ‘took it’ still” Lance said with a flirty tone, and oh, he was moving in a special way, Keith concluded, while looking at Lance in this new state of... drunk? (Probably drunk.) Lance was rubbing his thighs together, sitting on his knees but from time to time going into half laying down, like a mermaid on a beach with his legs on the side of him... rubbing his things. To Keith it seemed to be some kind of after effect of Lance getting drunk, he got extra feminine. 

“No one of us was... ‘taking it’— you know you can do other things in bed” Pidge said, making Lance bite his lip to stop a giggle. Hunk and Keith changed looks, saying that they both knew what Pidge was talking about. 

“Well then tongue master, it’s your turn to spin the bottle”  Lance uttered loudly, Pidge grabbed the bottle, spinning it. 

It landed on Lance. 

“Karma’s a bitch” Lance muttered quietly before taking a sip of his bear. Keith chuckled; this boy.

”Truth or dare Lance?” Pidge snickered with a much more confident face. 

“Dare” Lance breathed out after a while, licking his lips like he owned the place at Pidge. 

“Reenact you cumming” Pidge deadpanned, making both Hunk and Keith stop breathing for a second. 

“PIDGE!” Hunk exclaimed angrily, his face looking like a sunburned tomato. 

“What!? He started!” Pidge tried to put the blame on Lance but her smirk told everyone she knew exactly what she was doing and how sneaky it was. 

“That doesn’t mean you—you know what, fine” Hunk gritted through his teeth, taking a sip of his beer, getting ready for what to come (cum heh.) Keith could only sit still and wait for that as well.  

“No no, it’s all good Hunk, I can do it—do you want me to do something special while you’re at it as well?” Lance questioned Pidge, looking at her like he would do anything she asked of him. 

“Yeah I thought, since Keith is a newcomer. Why don’t look at him while you’re doing it too” Pidge uttered. 

Keith felt something get stuck in his throat, probably. He hadn’t been talking a lot since this thing started and now suddenly, he had everyone’s eyes on him. His posture was stale and his arms tense, was this really happening? He soon after got his question answered when Lance sat up on his knees and spread his legs, seating himself on the heels of his feet. Keith almost laughed at the obscure situation, but he went completely quiet when Lance locked eyes with him, his eyebrows raised up to his forehead and his eyes getting dim. This was really happening huh. 

“Ngh!” Was the first thing Lance got out of himself, biting his lip. His hands were placed in front of him, and he was leaning slightly on his arms like he was trying to look as submissive as possible—for Keith, who could feel his heartbeat raise. 

After that Lance started panting, hard and fast, tilting his head back but still with his eyes on Keith, who couldn’t do anything but stare back, his eyes intense, cheeks red. Why was Lance actually doing this like he didn’t care? Like he liked it? Lance had told him off just this morning, had said he was disgusting, but now he was moaning and panting whilst looking at him. 

Keith got snapped out of his thoughts by a loud groan, followed by a couple high pitched whines and moans, Lance almost looked like he was gonna scream when his whole body tensed, but it was silent. Then after followed some quiet groans to then just be a long breathe in through the nose and out the mouth. Then Lance was done, looking back at Keith like nothing was wrong, like everything was completely normal. 

Keith coughed silently to get rid of the lump in his throat, his eyes finally averting from Lance, feeling lucky that it was dark and that he had black shorts on so that no one could see the half-boner he’d gotten. 

Hunk was sitting with his head on his kneees, making frustrated sounds like he was in pain. Pidge on the other hand was looking impressed, like she hadn’t actually thought that Lance could do it. 

“Well if you make that much sound when you cum I don’t think it’s that weird that Laurel dumped you” Pidge muttered before drinking from her bottle. 

“Oh no, I never came when I was with Laurel, that’s why we broke up” Lance chuckled like it was the most natural thing in the world. Pidge and Hunk looked at him like it wasn’t. 

“What?!” Pidge exclaimed. 

“What what? I told you. She didn’t satisfy me” Lance answered, and then continued. “Who cares, it’s my turn” he muttered before spinning the bottle. 

***

They played for a little while longer. The bottle had landed on Keith next, and Lance had asked him, completely without shame, how Keith had gotten ‘that killer body.’ To which Keith had answered that he trained taekwondo and went running sometimes, not questioning Lances boldness or his... Uhm, earlier actions. When it was about one am, they decided to go to sleep, figuring that they would need it for the day to come. Pidge had put out the fire and then she and Hunk had gotten into their tent, leaving Keith alone by the dying glow of the fire since Lance had already went into the tent. 

It was dark, pitch black like his own mullet, only the moon to light up the places visible for it. Keith was standing over the dying fire still, telling himself it was too watch over it, but deep down he knew it was because he was scared of going into the tent where Lance was. 

He glanced at the tent, light glowing from it. What if Lance would be uncomfortable with him? What if he would say he was disgusting again? Keith usually didn’t care this much about what people thought of him and it was making him mad that he did when it came to Lance. What was he so scared of? Lance was just a person, who cared that he was uncomfortable with Keith? They were just gonna sleep in a tent, not cuddle. Lance could go fuck himself if he thought that was weird. 

Keith clenched his fists together and started walking towards the tent in a fast pace, and when he was there, sitting down and crawling into to the small space. 

Of course Keiths things were all in order, his sleeping bag out and his  stuff laying against his side of the tent wall. Lances stuff on the other hand, was barely even taken out of his backpack; his clothes were not organized, at all, his skin products even less so, his sleeping bag was out but it was not very pretty. And in the center of the mess was Lance, short halfway off, and the shirt he’d taken on when he’d gotten cold outside halfway over his head but seeming to be stuck. 

Just when Keith was about to say something Lance fell over, hands still trying to get a grip of the shirt but continuously failing to.

“Keith, help, please” Lance muttered, muffled by the fabric of the shirt. 

“Okay, just. Sit up” Keith uttered quietly, he wanted to laugh at the situation, but he was way too tired and he knew how Lance had acted the other time he was drunk. He didn’t want him to break down again, because even though he seemed to be happy right now Keith couldn’t be sure.

Lance managed to get up enough for Keith to grab the end of the shirt and pull it over his head. He let go of Lance so that the boy could pull the shirt of his arms himself but quickly took a hold of him when it seemed like he was going to tip again. 

It was awkward, but only for Keith, Lance was way too drunk to care about the fact that they were basically hugging when Keith dragged off his shirt and put it too the side. Keith should’ve let go of Lance, he was going to, but then he looked up at Lance, into his deep blue (groggy) eyes. His hair was messy but his face was as pretty as ever, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol and the freckles on his nose more visible than before. He was so pretty. 

“Keith” Lance breathed out, not angrily, not questioning, just saying his name.

”What Lance” Keith asked, wanting to know what the boy was thinking. 

“Did you... did you think I did good? I’m sorry Keith— I shouldn’t have said so much shit to you...” Lance slurred out, swaying in Keiths grip that only became stronger the longer they spoke. 

“It’s okay Lance” Keith whispered, trying to calm him down enough to get him to sleep instead of muttering coherent things. Keith was happy Lance was forgiving him, at least when he was dunk he wasn’t an asshole. But he still couldn’t understand why Lance had been so homophobic in the first place, since he obviously hadn’t had any problem with Pidge having sex with that Emma. Did Lance feel he threatened him? Was Lance scared of him? Was he—

“No! No it’s—it’s not, I shouldn’t have said all that crap it was mean and—and not true” Lance started by yelling in Keiths face, to then slow it down to slur again, startling Keith in his thoughts but also making him smile. Lance was just—just Lance. 

“Okay” Keith muttered before laying Lance down on his sleeping bag, taking off his shorts and putting them aside. After that he took of his own shorts, but he was a bit too uncomfortable to take off his shirt so he left it on. He crawled into his sleeping bag and turned of the lights, but his thoughts of sleep got pushed aside as he felt Lances hand on his chest, his fingers gripping the fabric. 

“What is it Lance?” Keith asked, sounding annoyed when he really was just freaking out a bit over the fact that Lance was touching him. 

“‘S cold” 

“Then get in your sleeping bag” Keith stated. 

“Nooo, Keith is warm” Lance whined and suddenly Keith could feel the whole body of Lance closing in on him, Lances arms wrapping around him and capturing him.

Keith could feel himself stop breathing, his heartbeat raising to max, but he couldn’t bring himself to move, to say anything. Lance was hugging him, he was hugging him like he was a body pillow. This was going to be so awkward in the morning and Keith knew that, he knew that there might be a chance that Lance wouldn’t speak to him again but he couldn’t bring himself to push the boy away. Especially not when he could hear the faint snores coming from the warm, soft body beside him.   


	13. Forest apologizing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday

“Yo Keith, it’s time to wake up. It’s breakfast. Also, I know Lance is sleeping since he always is when he gets this drunk, ain’t nothing that'll wake him up”

Keith slowly opened his eyes from hearing someone saying his name to him from outside the tent, he was dizzy and his head certainly hurt, he shouldnt have had that much. Although he couldn’t care less about that when he realized Lances arms were still around him and morning wood was pressing against his hip. Keiths eyes shot up compleatly at that realization and quickly went from laying down to supporting his upper body on his forearms, trying to get some space between him and Lances snoring (beautiful) face. 

“Uh—yeah, okay Pidge, I’ll be out in a minute” he stuttered with his body rigid and eyes stuck on Lances peaceful face, then suddenly he had to look down at the hard-on pressing against him, looking at it making him even staler. Damn, it was barely hidden since Lance was just wearing underwear, smooth thighs and soft chest open for Keiths eyes to look at and all but—god forgive him—Lance dick, pressing against him. He could feel it so perfectly, so hard. Shit. He had to stop. This was just Lances body reacting like any boys body, getting hard in the morning was just a natural thing since it was just the body making sure it was working and able to... well, impregnate. Nothing weird, not because Keith was there, he seriously had to look away now. 

“Okay buddy, oh, and don’t wake Lance please, he’ll be seriously pissed and I can’t handle his bullshit right now” Pidge said to him, tearing him away from his thoughts and also making him tear away his eyes from Lances... well, issue. 

“Yeah yup—I get what you mean” Keith muttered quietly, swallowing and continuing to try not getting turned on, which he was failing, he already had a semi. 

“Stop it” he whispered to himself before sitting up completely, Lances arms falling to his lap, which he quickly moved so that he wouldn’t start imagining Lances hands in his lap because of other reasons. Shit, God. Although he really was lucky Lance was asleep wasn’t he, what if Lance had been up? Then he’d definitely gotten mad at Keith for HIM having his arms around him, like it was Keiths fault he’d decided to be all clingy and shit when being drunk, idiot. Well at least he wasn’t up, and Keith could just not tell him and pretend it never happened, Lance had been so drunk that he could either tell Lance that what he’d done must’ve been a dream or maybe Lance had just forgotten it all. 

Once Lances arms were off of him and he’d gotten dressed, he grabbed his phone and pulled up the zipper so that he could walk outside. It wasn’t cold but since he’d been sleeping with Lances body heat against him and in a cramped tent the slightly chillier air made him shiver. The sun was up, lighting up the place after a cold, dry, night, Pidge and Hunk sitting in front of the fire place eating of the food they’d taken with them. Of course there wasn’t a fire though, no need for it since it already was starting to heat up outside. 

“Yo” Keith yawned, itching his neck like a mosquito had bit him, and seating himself next to Hunk. 

“Morning. So, I have to ask, was he really clingy? And if he was I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you” Hunk asked before Keith could even find a comfortable position to sit in, a look of worry over his face. Keith opened his mouth to say yes; Lance had been clingy as hell and yes; he would’ve probably been happier gotten it told to him beforehand, but did he really want to bring up the fact that Lance had been clinging all over him? 

“No, he wasn’t clingy, he was asleep when I went to bed, and asleep when I woke up” Keith answered deadpanned, getting a knife to cut himself a piece of bread. 

“Oh, okay then, good” Hunk uttered with a relieved smile, getting back to eating... whatever it was he was eating. To Keith it was looking like some kind of baked thingy with cheese and... berries? He really had to look at it for some time to try and figure it out but since he wouldn’t ask Hunk he just decided to not care about it. They ate sat in silence for a minute or two before Pidge showed up with wet hair and shivering in her bathing suit. 

“Keith, you wanna come into the water? I know Hunk won’t because it’s freezing but that’s kind of the point, you know, dealing with the hangover” she tried to tell him between gasps of breath, cold but more alert from her earlier state of having a headache. 

Keith thinks about it for a second or two before realizing that he would probably fall asleep and wake up with an even worse headache if he didn’t agree to just jump in. He nodded quickly before going back to the tent to get his swimming trunks. When he opened it up though, he had to stop and stare since Lance was awake and struggling to put on his shorts. A short amount of eye contact and then Lance was sighing irritatedly.

“The fuck do you want mullet?” He asked with an annoyed tone, like he hadn’t been humping Keiths hip just five minutes ago. Although Keith couldn’t care less about Lances irritated tone since that meant Lance wasn’t uncomfortable with him which meant he probably didn’t remember anything about last night which meant he was just being normal, stupid, cute Lance... minus cute.

“Uh, I’m just getting my swimming trunks, chill” Keith answered honestly before digging around in his bag to quickly find them, showing them to Lance as evidence that that was why he got there, and then left.

Keith joined the waiting Pidge and they made their way down to the small, grassy shore, and when there, Pidge stood to wait for Keith to change. 

“You gonna stare at me all the time or what?” Keith muttered with small smirk, looking at Pidge looking at him while he was halfway done taking off his shirt. Pidge just chuckled and waved her hand. 

“Oh please, even if I’m not completely gay there’s been like one guy I’ve ever liked, and that sure as hell wasn't you” Pidge snickered before adding: “besides, you’re not my type” 

“oh yeah, what’s your type?” Keith scoffed, down to just his underwear by now. 

“Someone a little shipper than you” Pidge deadpanned with raised eyebrows. Keith gave her a glance and a ‘really’ before tying a towel around his waist so that he could take off his underwear and put on his black and orange swimming trunks without showing his ass and dick to the rest of the world, including Pidge standing there watching him like she was watching a small five year old playing next to a big road. 

When he was finally done he looked up at Pidge, met her eyes, before sprinting into the water, her close behind since she’d probably got the whole ’last one in is a rotten peanut’ that he was trying to pull. He splashed into the water with a loud sound and was immediately hit by cold ass water.

“Holy shit!” He yelled, jumping up and down after getting his whole body wet without thinking of the fact that it was really freezing. Pidge laughed in his face as she made her way into the water a little slower than he had, and she was not in the water yet since she’d been smart enough to stop before the waters edge. 

“Oh fuck off” Keith muttered with thin eyes at her mocking, crossing his arms both because he was slightly embarrassed and because it was literally so cold he thought he’d might freeze his balls off. 

“Well I did warn you, you twat” Pidge answered matter of factly, making Keith scoff and splash cold water on her.

“I am not a twat!” He exclaimed loudly before splashing even more on her, making her gasp and shiver before getting closer to him, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him under the surface. And yes, she was a lot stronger than she looked like Keith concluded as he was convulsed by the body numbing water. 

“Okay okay!” He yelled as he fought her off and got up to standing in the water again, looking at her with his signature Keith look (you know the one). 

“So, how’s it going with Lance? is he talking to you? Has he said anything about—anything?” Pidge questioned completely out of the blue, right after they calmed down, but also like she’d been waiting to ask for quite some time. Keiths eyebrows knitted as he started to sink deeper into the water, getting used to the temperature.

“I don’t know, I just—hey why do all you guys wanna know if I’m talking to Lance or not? Like what’s the deal, first Shiro and then you?” Keith asked instead of answering the questions, not knowing the answers and not really sure if he wanted to. He could hear Lance and hunk talking from avobe, listening to them bicker over something on the big cliff, wondering if Lance was treating him differently or supposed to say something to him because honestly he couldn’t figure out why it was all so special that they were actually hanging out. 

“Well I mean, it’s just—“ Pidge interrupted herself by sighing, knitting her eyebrows, focusing on what she was trying to get out. “—Lance is my friend, you know that, and he’s an... emotional person and he easily trust and talk to people and I just, don’t want him getting hurt you know” Pidge explained, her face serious and body calm, except for the few chills she got from time to time because of the wind hitting wet skin. Keith could only look back at her with the same expression. 

“Yeah, I get that. I’m—“ What was he going to say? That he wasn’t going to hurt Lance? That he was going to protect him? Him and Lance were no couple, they barely knew each other and they were definitely not on the level of friendship that they cared about one another. Keith wasn’t gonna do shit, Lance wasn’t his to protect, Lance wasn’t his at all Lance was Lance and that was that.

“Yeah” he simply ended it. 

“Cool—you feeling quicker in the head?” Pidge uttered quickly after reassuring Keith wasn’t gonna pull some funny business on her friend, changing from one subject to the other. 

“Actually, yeah” he answered with a small smile, happy that he’d gotten invited into the water and happy that Pidge seemed to enjoy his company. 

Pidge smiled back at him and then proceeded to splash some water on him. “Sooo, you got a girlfriend or anything?” Pidge asked after a small time of just silence, the only sound between them the water when they moved. 

“Pidge, maybe you haven’t noticed. I’m not a couples person” Keith answered slyly, looking at her like it should’ve been obvious. 

“Yeah I figured, but I just wanted to make sure since you never know. I mean, I could’ve been wrong and just pissed you off if I assumed you didn’t have a girlfriend like I was saying ‘you’re too much Keith to get laid’” Pidge explained to his statement, in which Keith chuckled at. 

“Oh, I do get laid though” he answered a bit too slyly for him, maybe he the water was a bit too cold and maybe he was a bit too drowsy because he cringed at what he’d said the second after it slipped from his mouth. He sounded like Lance, he was not Lance, but Pidge didn’t seem to care, she merely looked impressed. 

“Oh really, wow, mullet-boy going at it huh?” She answered with a smirk, Keith frowning slightly at mullet but not mentioning it, only shrugging casually. 

They stayed in the water for a little longer, until they both could feel their brains tip back to the more hungover side, and they were not too keen on getting drowsy again, so they got out and on to the grassy shore. Keith decided to grab his towel and curl up in it, waiting for the sun to really rise and for the weather to get hot enough for him to walk back to the others. Also, he wasn’t going to be able to stay in the sun too long since it then would end up with him red and burning. 

***

“It’s so fucking hoooooot” Lance complained as they were walking on a path, trees around them and only Pidge with a back pack since all they needed to take with them was lunch. And Lance was right, it was hot, all of them were sweating out their souls, it was even hot in the shadow. Keith himself was walking in only swimming trunks, not even bothering to put anything on to protect his sensitive skin, hopefully the big amount of sunscreen was at least gonna smooth it out a bit. 

“We know Lance, we know” Hunk muttered from beside Pidge. 

“Where are we even going? Like do we have an objective or are we just walking?” Lance asked with furrowed eyebrows, annoying both Pidge and Keith to the point of Pidge rolling her eyes at him. 

“You know where we’re going, the cave you dummy” Pidge answered matter of factly. Keith had no idea where said cave was or what it really was, well, he figured it was a cave but he didn’t actually know what was so special about it or why they were going there. Maybe it was just cool. 

“Shit, that’s so far, can’t we just, I don’t know, take a quick break?” Lance kept on asking, movements getting sloppier for every steps, of course it was just exaggerating but still, Lance was Lance and he was going to stop if he wanted to. Keith looked at his back from where he was walking behind, looking at the sweat running down brown skin, as Lance had been saying: _hot_. He quickly looked away, what was he thinking. 

“If you wanna stop that’s fine but I’m gonna keep walking okay, I don’t want to slow down” Pidge exclaimed seriously, looking at Hunk next. “You with me Hunk?” She asked, getting a silent nodd for and answer. 

“Keith?” She then said, looking at Keith for an answer. He wanted to, and also didn’t, he wanted to stop and drink some water, chill for a bit, but also not because when you stopped it’s harder to start again. He also wanted to stop because then he could talk to Lance, be with Lance, alone... but he also was kind of freaking out to talk with Lance, and be with Lance. Alone. 

Keith met Pidges eyes with a calm shake of his head and a ‘nah’ leaving his mouth. Just a small break wouldn’t hurt, would it? No, it was fine, he was just going drink some water and talk about the weather: fine. 

“Key, well you know the way Lance, catch up to us eventually please” Pidge said with a mouth thin as a line before her and Hunk started walking again, leaving Keith, Lance and water bottle alone in the middle of the forest. 

Keith sucked in a breath between his teeth, shifting weight between his feet, why had he thought this was a good idea, he should’ve just kept on going and left Lance alone, now he just felt like both a baby sitter and an asshole. 

“So, you gonna address the elephant in the—well—forest, or should I?” Lance caught off his trail of thought by saying, loud and clear, like nothing was wrong, before taking a sip of the water. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Keith muttered calmly, of course he knew what Lance was talking about; the fact that Lance had cuddled up with him in the middle of the night, and the worst part was, Lance even sounded like it was Keiths fault with the tone he was using. 

“You know what I’m talking about—who cares—I just... sorry” Lance stuttered shyly, a small blush closing in over his cheeks as muttered the last words extra quietly. And Keith was, he was... yeah, he was. What?

“What?” Keith exclaimed surprised, before quickly correcting himself “well yeah you should be but, why?” He uttered confidently before once again asking why, what, just wanting a reason. Lance shrugged sheepishly, handing Keith the water before seating himself on a rock beside them. He was looking into the distance, face guilty and Keith could only wonder where all of it was coming from. This didn’t seem like Lance from what Keith had learned. 

“I was just in a bad mood and I don’t—I don’t think you’re disgusting and I don’t think you are... I don’t know, trying to get with me—“ Lances face scrunches up, trying to find the words “—I know that just because you’re into guys you don’t want every guy you meet I was just, frustrated I guess. I don’t know why and I’m sorry” Lance uttered guilty, still not meeting Keiths eyes. And Keith was just, really really... what?

”Oh—key” Keith breathed out, really confused and kind of... relieved, happy? Yeah, something like that. He brought his hand through his hair, looking at Lance until he looked back and met Keiths gaze. Lance looked, flustered, and tense. All Keith could think was that Pidge or hunk had convinced him to apologize, and that Lance really didn’t want this because he still thought Keith was weird... but Lance did definitely not seem to have told either Hunk or Pidge unless they were like, mad actors, and were hiding it from Keith with their amazing acting skills. But all of that seemed very unlikely so... was Lance truly, legitimately sorry?

“Okay” Keith said calmly, grabbing the water bottle from a very surprised Lance and unscrewing it. 

”Okay?! That’s all you have to say! You—you’re not mad at me, or? Like I know I-I, are you mad?” Lance stuttered nervously, face worried and hand gestures wild.  Keith needed to hold back the smile threatening to push up to the surface with the way Lance was reacting to his simple ‘okay’. 

“Lance” Keith said merely to shut him up, making Lance shut his mouth and looking at him like he was going to cry, his previous calm and sassy behavior completely washed away. Cute. 

“It’s okay, just don’t pull bullshit again because then I’ll beat you’re face up” Keith threatened with a serious/not-serious sarcastic tone, meaning it in one way but also just joking lovingly. 

Lance looked like he was going to say something sassy back, his eyes sharpening, but probably decided against it since he was the one who had done wrong in the situation. 

“Let’s go” 


	14. Inappropriate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday

After the small adventure out into the forest, eating lunch, playing some games, Lance and Keith walking next to each other quietly... awkwardly, they had gone back and gotten into the tents early, all of them tiered and run out from the day of hot, hot sun. Lance and Keith hadn’t really talked before falling asleep, both of them turned towards the walls of the tent, neither of them saying anything. Keith wanted to say something, he was even tempted to just, grab Lances hand and squeeze. It felt weird since he’d had Lance all over him the last night. When drunk Lance had started grabbing for him he’d been irritated and irritated that he got flustered because of it. But now when Lance wasn’t drunk and wasn’t cuddling with him he just felt... lonely, cold, it had been nice with a body around him. A source of warmth convulsing around him, it had made him want to hug back hard and strong, a kind of need to keep Lance warm. Safe. In that small, warm, tent. But he didn’t do anything, just lied there waiting on sleep to finally grab a hold of him.

In what had felt like just a blink of an eye, Keith had woken up, the warmth of Lances body gone and the irritation of missing that warmth sitting like a parasite in the pit of his stomach. Why was he missing something that annoying? That loud? That—that disgusting? He ended up deciding against overthinking and just put on some clothes and packed his stuff before walking outside and seating himself beside Hunk, grabbing himself something to eat.

After eating and taking down the tents, they all started walking back to the big cabin, this time Keith himself with the most things in his backpack. All the way back he had internally cursed himself for taking the heaviest tent and the most things instead of letting Lance, the one that was actually supposed to carry it, take it all.

They had got back to the cabin at about seven pm, all of them tiered, leaving to walk their own ways, Pidge up to her and Shiros share room (that honestly just she stayed in since we all know who’s room Shiro spent his nights in) Hunk staying in the big cabin to start cooking food, also starting a conversation with Coran and Allura about what spices you should have in some kind of octopus-food-recipe (on that point he had gotten slightly confused) and, of course, Keith and Lance had ended up walking alone, side by side, to their cabin to start unpacking.

Keith took a slightly bigger step over a stone in the way, looking over to Lance walking beside him, eyes down in the ground and hands clasped tightly around his backpack straps. It was awkward, Keith knew that much, and it almost to the edge where he felt he had to say something, and Keith normally never felt the need to start a conversation, but this was just... painful.

He coughed slightly, wondering if Lance was gonna react, next he looked over at him, still walking down the thin path. Lance looked up from the ground, snapping his head so fast Keith thought it might’ve given him a slight whiplash.

“Uhm, I gotta... pee, you can continue” Lance uttered with a forced smile, like he had to be happy in front of Keith, like Keith was just one of his friends that he had to look like he had the best time ever in front of, like he was just living life and it was just so great and chill and no problemo. That smile made Keith wanna smack his face up and tell him he didn’t have to force it if he didn’t feel like it, but he simply nodded as an answer and turned around to walk the rest of the way.

In just a minute or two he was there, walking up the stairs and opening the door, legs sore and shoulders tense, and when he’d gotten into the actual cabin, swinging the big bag pack off of his back and on to the floor. God, he was tired, he hadn’t even realized how run out he’d been when they were walking, when he was just a part of the moment with no chance of taking a moment to relax. Without further ado he laid down on the bed, not even caring that his muddy shoes were still on, and closed his eyes.

It felt... natural, now. After these two weeks it felt normal, he felt like he was apart of a group and that was... honestly terrifying. Keith opened his eyes at that thought, staring up at the ceiling. It was true, it was so scary to actually feel included. He wasn’t as scared of just talking, asking for things, saying thanks, smiling, as he was with others. It felt weird, he felt out of place. It felt like he’d suddenly walked into a family movie where everything turns out great and everyone loves each other. When he was going through his I’m-an-emo-teen-leave-me-alone phase, he would’ve said ‘ew’ and ‘that doesn’t happen’, when that phase was over he couldn’t really say ew anymore but the ‘that doesn’t happen’ was still there, believing in happy endings was not something a hurt, introverted foster kid can imagine. Although, now he was here, and he felt included. Honestly he felt like he’d crawled into a new skin.

“Uhm, Keith?” Keiths thoughts were interrupted by. Lance was standing in front of the open door, the sunlight shining on his back and closing in on his body from behind, making him merely a silhouette for Keiths eyes as he looked up at the boys confused face.

“Hmm?” He hummed back as a question, sitting up slightly and leaning his upper body on his forearms. Lance shifted legs as his eyebrows created a clear frown on his face.

“Why are you in my bed?” He asked. Keiths breath caught, and yeah, that was one good question. Why the fuck was he in Lances bed?! Had he just ended up there since it was the closest bed that he could just, sink into, relax in. But of course it had to be Lances bed.

“I just, it was closest” Keith answered truthfully, face pale but calm, not showing any of his thoughts, just his casual Keith resting face.

“Oka—“

“I can get out of it you want to” Keith stated more like a question before Lance could even end his sentence, and he had to ask because quite frankly, Lances bed was very comfortable, soft, nice.

“No—no you can, stay there... if you want to” Lance answered, hands raised up to his chest like he was protecting himself from Keith. And—okay? Wait what? Sure.

“...thanks?” Keith answered quietly, laying still, right where he was before. He was going to say that he could take of his shoes so that he wouldn’t get mud all over Lances sheets but then again, if he sat up to take of his shoes he could just as easily stand up and go lay down in his own bed. So no.

Lance coughed quietly, taking of his backpack and starting to unpack it, throwing out dirty clothes and different skin products out on the floor. Keith could only watch him do this, that and staring up in the ceiling. Suddenly though, Lance stopped, and with a dramatic sigh he sat down next to Keiths feet, his own two planted on the ground with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, no smile, Keith could easily see.

“I’m really sorry Keith I—I shouldn’t have been such an ass” Lance muttered into the palms of his hands, focusing his eyes at the small fridge they had instead of on who he was talking to. Keith smirked to himself, almost tempted to say ‘I couldn’t hear you’ or maybe ‘you should be’ but held it to himself, Lance really seemed to have a hard time being serious when it came to serious subjects.

Instead of saying something mean or snarky, Keith sat up, knees bent and shoes on the end of Lances bed so that he wouldn’t get it dirty, and leaning back on one of his hands while the other one carefully planted itself on Lances back. He had held Lance in his arms before, he had had his hands on his back, but still it felt so... weird, exiting, rule breaking now when both of them were still right in there heads and not drunk or really really tiered. He didn’t know how Lance would react when he started drawing soothing circles over his shoulder blades, wasn’t sure if he would tense up and slap his hand away or just let it happen. The way that he could hear Lance breath getting caught in his throat told him both of them were right, with Lance both tensing up and slowly leaning into the touch. Keith couldn’t help but let his hand start drawing bigger circles and wandering them lower onto Lances back, between his butt and shoulders, teasing the section with light touches of his fingers, and Lance only accepting it, deep blush spreading across his face. Was this okay? Keith didn’t know, but he liked the way his head got close to the other boys cheek and neck, liked the way he could see Lances Adam’s apple move in his throat. This was weird, he shouldn't start cuddling up with Lance, he shouldn’t... 

Suddenly, Keith stopped, moved his hand up to Lances shoulder again and gave it a small pat before letting his hand return to his own private space, resting it on the bed instead. He shouldn’t be too close to Lance when he knew he wasn’t comfortable with it. 

“It’s cool, like really, it’s all good. I kinda get why you did what you did and I shouldn’t have been so close to you... also you’ve apologized enough, it’s starting to get annoying” Keith finished his sentence with since he knew telling Lance that it was getting annoying or weighing down on him was gonna make Lance truly stop with the apologizing, because Lance was like that, a people pleaser, and he stopped if someone said it was unpleasant, annoying.

“Okay” he answered quietly, gulping down his voice that was stuck in his throat. His body seemed rigid, Keith could see it clearly, he was sitting with his arms stale, back hunched, fingers playing with the sheets a little to intensely, and one’s done looking at Keith he went over to staring at something in the ceiling, very persistent, weird. Keith chose not to say anything about it, instead he leaned back on the bed again, his head colliding with the soft pillow. He wasn’t really in the mood to dig up what was going through Lances head, too tiered, too fixated on the fact that he was in Lances bed and the smell was all around him. 

It got quiet then, Lance biting his lip nervously and Keith fighting the urge to just turn his head and _inhale_. He hadn’t actually thought about the fact that Lance slept in the bed he was laying in yet, had been to focused on actual Lance but now, now he couldn’t stop thinking about that dream and that sweet, sweet smell. Keith looked back at Lance, staring over his back and profile. He was so pretty, so cute, so beautiful, such a cute face and hot body that would just feel, so, so good on him right now. God, Keith was gonna have to stop thinking horny thoughts before he popped a boner. 

“Hey Keith?” Lance uttered quickly, turning his head to Keith and looking down on him, taking Keith by surprise, making him look down towards his dick to see if it was actually hard, which it wasn’t luckily enough. 

“Yeah?” he answered simply, wondering what was on Lances mind, but not sitting up just yet, he was liking the feel of that cozy bed. Lance shifted positions, his feet going up to sit on the end of the bed, his knees taking a place under his chin and his arms around them. Then he started opening and closing his mouth like a fish, looking for what to say but not looking at Keith for eye contact.

“Do you think you could... ru—rub my back again?” Lance said so quietly Keith barely heard it, but he did hear it, and honestly it was hard to not just tackle the boy onto the floor and say ‘you’d like that wouldn’t you?’. Although he quickly decided against it as he saw Lances red and unsure facial expression, and sat up again. 

“You sure? I don’t wanna—Uhm” Keith muttered, tried to make sure Lance wouldn’t be uncomfortable with it, because if he got allowance, man, he was going to give him a goddamn massage. 

“No, it’s—I want it” Lance uttered in a slightly shaky voice, his cheeks pink and his eyebrows high up on his forehead, he looked so innocent, so pure. Keith couldn’t help but stare at that mouth for a second before crawling in closer to the boy, not so close that their bodies were touching, but close enough to make Lances posture rigid again. He scooted in closer to his back and placed himself in a sitting position behind Lance, having kicked of his shoes in a swift move so that he wouldn’t get Lances bed too dirty. It was weird, and close, and warm, and good. It felt good, it felt really good to be this close to Lance, Keith hadn’t been expecting it but he felt this sort of power and control to be behind Lance with all of Lance available to him. It felt like Lance was putting his trust in him, and that felt... really nice. 

But it was still weird, the way he knew Lance could feel his breath on his neck, the fact that he didn’t know what to do, where to start. What the hell was he thinking going into this? he wasn’t a fucking massager or what the hell you call them, what did you do? _Do I just—rub my hands against his muscles or something_ ; was all that was going through Keiths head as he brung his hands down to Lance shoulders first, squeezing them slightly. The sigh from Lances side was a complete surprise and Keiths eyes widened, was he doing it? Was it nice? His mouth got thin as he tried again. This time he moved his hands to Lance neck, pushing his thumbs into the skin next to the spine. Lance got tense for a bit so Keith stopped what he was doing, went at it again but a little softer and with a little more palm, and so he got that quiet sigh as an instant reward. He was liking this, Keith quickly concluded with a smile as he started doing it for real, looking at Lances body’s reaction for a sign to how he was doing. 

“Oh fuck Keith, you’re really good at this” Lance moaned quietly and Keith could swear just that made his dick twitch, and no, this was bad, he can’t be thinking like this, _stop being a horny monster you idiot, it’s just a massage_. 

“Thanks I guess” Keith muttered as an answer, focusing really hard on not getting a boner and on pushing in the right places to get the right reactions. And it seemed to be working, Lance was relaxing more and more against him, and soon it seemed like he was going to fall back on him, and Keith really wanted that to happen, to feel Lance against him, to go under that shirt and rub it without anything in between and—

And suddenly, the door was wide open with Shiro standing in the doorway, eyes slightly confused to what he was seeing and both boys freezing up in the moment. Keith quickly dropped his hands from Lances body as Lance sat up straight as a stick with wide eyes. This was awkward. Dead silence. Awkwaaaerd. 

“Hmm-hm, sorry to—uh interrupt” Shiro couched like his throat had suddenly gone very dry, one hand running through his hair. And god, Keith could swear he was going to kill his brother: _interrupt_ , Shiro could’ve literally chose any word and he chose interrupt. Lance was going to think this was something now, something worth interrupting but this was just... this was just a friendly massage. He was so going to fuck with Shiro and Allura now because this was not okay. 

“You didn’t interrupt anything at all, I was just—helping Lance out after a long day of walking you know” Keith answered, since Lances brain and voice had apparently stopped working, and looking into Shiros eyes with an extremely tense stare. Shiro apparently just _couldn’t_ stop himself from smiling just then because he just had to be such a little _asshole_. 

“Yeah, okay” Shiro uttered with the most sarcastic tone it was seriously so irritating and Keith just wanted to, not be there. Apparently so did Lance since his brain seemed to finnally catch up with what was happening and he slowly stood up from the bed, like he really wanted to just jump right up and run but taking it slow to not look unnatural or suspicious. Like he’d just shit himself was all Keith could think of by looking at Lances movements. 

“Yeah I was just—really sore” Lance swallowed, streatching his arm behind his head and rolling his shoulders a couple of times. 

“Well dinner is ready so you could come with me, or you could just continue with—“ 

“yeah we’re coming now” Keith interrupted with and stood up, quickly put on his shoes and went out the front door with Shiro and Lance not far behind. The awkward tensions still in the air and only Shiro seeming pleased with the situation. 

His brother didn’t say anything during the short walk, but Keith knew, Keith could almost _feel_ the words his brother was aching to say, but instead neither of them said anything and just existed awkwardly in their presence before getting to the big cabin. 


	15. Difficult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday

“Psst—Keith, wake up”

Keith slowly opened his eyes to see Lances staring at him, glowing bright in the dark cabin only lit by the moonlight. He felt groggy and slightly misplaced in his body, what time was it? Why was Lance waking him up. 

“Wha—what time is it Lance?” Keith questioned confusedly while sitting up slightly in his bed and rubbing at his eyes, making Lance back up a bit so that he no longer was right in Keiths face. Lance could only smirk at that whilst shrugging his shoulders, looking away from Keith with an innocent look in his eyes. 

“One am... maybe” he answered Keiths question with, that ‘maybe’ not necessary for Keith to understand the situation: it was definitely one am. 

“Why the hell did you wake me up?!” he scream whispered out to Lance, not wanting to disturb the other sleeping person in the house but also wanting to make sure Lance got the point, because why? Why would he wake him up in the middle of the fricking night. It was almost pitch black in the cabin, the room painted in a dark shade of blue where the moonlight cane streaming in, outside you could hear the crickets sing. And right in front of him, was Lance, standing half in the shadow and half in the light, holding up his hands in front of him like a defense mechanism. 

“I just... I felt like going for a swim and the water would still be warm—” Lance started with, he looked down on the ground, embarrassed, and continued “—I just, wanted to know if... you would like to join me?” He ended with, looking up at Keith again with on hand clutching the side of his other arm, looking like he was already regretting what he had said. 

Take a swim? With Keith? He could’ve just woken up Hunk but why...? 

“Why didn’t you wake up Hunk?” Keith asked suspiciously, not wanting it to sound like he wasn’t interested but just making sure this wasn’t some type of ‘ha ha jokes on you I wouldn’t want to do that’ from Lance, he didn’t want to seem desperate. Although that seemed to be the wrong choice since Lances awkward smile immediately disappeared, replaced with a grin and sad eyes. 

“You know it’s cool, I’ll just, go swim by myself it’s... it’s all good, you can sleep” Lance uttered carelessly, hands flying all around him like he was trying to gesture it all away. Keith quickly started to get out of bed at that, picking up his clothes to get dressed. Of course he wanted to go swim with Lance. 

“No I’ll come with you, I just gotta grab my swimming trun—“ 

“there’s no need for that! I mean... it-it’s dark outside, I’m not bringing mine, it’ll be fine we won’t see anything” Lance interrupted Keith with, making them both blush. Keith didn’t think about it twice, this was something he couldn’t pass up on. 

“Uhm, yeah that-that sounds reasonable” Keith coughed quietly, dragging on his pants to then continue with his shirt and shoes after that, looking at his swimming trunks drying on one of the chairs before walking over to the door with Lance. Was he really going to go swimming with Lance, naked? In the middle of the night? Was this... something. Keith shook his head: no, this was nothing, this was just two bros being bros. And _not_ like the vine. 

Keith walked out the door, Lance following after and closing the door behind them quietly, making sure to not be loud enough to wake Hunk. Then Lance started walking, Keith followed and after just a minute he realized that they were walking down the path to the cliff where they had first started talking for real. When Keith thought about it, that was understandable since the place had a really nice path down into the water, easy to get in and easy to get out. 

It was quiet between them, neither Keith or Lance saying a word to each other, just walking, Keith watching Lances hips as the swayed slightly at every step. Lance had been really nice to him since Keith had given him that massage. Eating dinner with Lance and Shiro sitting at the same table as him had been awkward after Shiros walking in on them, but Lance had been... nice. He hadn’t called him mullet, hadn’t picked on him, he had just been nice. Monday had been the same, Lance hadn’t been mean or snarky towards him at all, he had even complimented Keith on his tank top when he’d put it on after the shower they had taken. It was... weird, before Lance had been the one he had had the hardest time talking to, but now—now Lance was just as friendly as everyone else. 

Keith sighed quietly as he looked over Lances back, over his neck, his thighs and his hands as they swayed beside him. Keith already knew that Lance was hot, but in the blue moonlight he could only come to the conclusion that Lance was beautiful. 

Soon enough, they got to the cliff, the water just as calm as the first time Keith had been there, two weeks ago, not a single blow of the wind. Keith made eye contact with Lance, who stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked away, biting at his pouting lips. Right, they were going to swim... nude. 

“Uhm—do you wanna—should I” Keith stuttered awkwardly, looking away from Lance him as well. 

“You can... do first I’ll—I’ll turn around so” Lance choked out quickly, turning on his heels to stare out into the forest instead of looking at Keith.

Why in the hell did he agree to this? He had never skinny dipped with anyone before, well, there was this one girl when he had been drunk but... with Lance? He... he liked Lance, it was hard to admit but Lance had grown a lot on him since he’d come here, and he didn’t want to fuck it by being too much or pressuring him into stuff and skinny dipping with him sure as hell felt like pushing it a bit.

Although, Lance was the one who had woken him up. 

Keith grunted out an answer, staring over Lances stale posture for a nerve racking second before swiftly dragging his shirt over his head, after that taking of his sweatpants, shoes and socks just as fast. Now came the tricky part, Keith realized, as he was standing there, slightly cold, looking at Lances back just about a meter away, and with only underwear on his body. Keith was nervous, was he really going to do this? He had to. With a shaky breath, he prayed to god that Lance wouldn’t suddenly turn around and placed his fingers on his trunks and pushed them down, dragged them off of his legs to then throw them to the pile of clothes he had created beside him. 

He felt naked, as he stood there waiting in the silence for himself to jump in, for Lance to say something, for anything. He felt more naked than when he took of all his clothes to take a shower, he felt more naked than when he had had a drunken skinny dip with that dark-haired girl after that party. He felt more naked than he had ever felt before, and there Lance was, standing in front of him, not even looking at him in his full nudity, but so close. What if he would just turn around? And see Keith for who he was, all of him, his whole body out and showing. Keith could only imagine his facial expression.

“Are you done?” Lance broke the silence by saying, making Keith jump slightly and cough uncomfortably. 

“Yeah, I’ll just... jump in” Keith answered, turning in his place to see where to go, how to get in. Before he could think it over too much, he walked closer to the water and jumped in. It was warm, just like Lance had said it was going to be, well, not warm, but as warm as you could expect it to be since it was slightly chilly out. The water covered his face with comfort before he just a second later broke through the surface, his hair wet and messy as he dragged a hand in it to get it out of his face. The fact that he had been tiered because of being woken up was completely gone now, replaced by a small smile on his face as he looked up at Lance again. Lance who had taken off his shirt and thrown it in the pile of clothes that Keith had created instead of throwing them a bit away. 

“Could you turn around?” Lance snapped sassily at Keith, who hadn’t realized he had been staring, but he could see how embarrassed Lance was on his lip biting and his flushed cheeks so he knew none of it had been meant in a mean way. Keith only turned in the water, not commenting on Lance raising his voice,  shuffling his legs from side to side and turning his head so that he was instead focusing his eyes on the mirrored picture in the water, the picture he destroyed by moving too much. He was tempted the turn his head just a little, just to peak, that urge becoming stronger as he could hear Lances shuffling with clothes and his belt clacking against the stone. 

Keith blushed. This was happening. 

Soon enough he both heard and felt Lance get in the water as well, the loud splash in the quietness and the water pushing against his back. They didn’t say anything, Lance was quite, Keith too, all that could be heard was their bodies moving to keep floating. 

“Can I... turn around?” Keith asked in a raspy voice after a few to many moments without any words leaving any of their mouths, or hell, he’d be happy with just a sound, the quiet between them was starting to get to him. 

“Yeah, I’m all hidden by the water anyway so-“ Lance cut himself off, not finishing the sentence, Keith didn’t really know why but could only imagine what he had heard was just embarrassed Lance trying to say something somewhat coherent, which had been a complete failure if you asked Keith. He couldn’t care less though, as he shuffled a bit in the water to turn around and face Lance. 

And he could feel the breath in his throat getting stuck and staying there for a moment, and he forget all about being Keith and badass and just a one-night-stand kind of guy because, Lance was just so—

He was so... _pretty_. 

In the dim moonlight with that wet, shining skin, and those piercing blue eyes, shimmering with tranquility and beauty, he looked so pretty. Keith couldn’t even focus on the fact that they were both in the water naked and super close and that that was really hot because he was just stunned by the fact that Lance was just so, beautiful. His lips were shining and full (looking way to kissable to be okay), Keith had to look away from them, look at his shoulders, his bare collarbones, his cheeks, his cute ears, his wet hair, his creamy skin, his eyes as deep as the ocean, as full as space. Keith already knew it but those eyes were amazing, and right now they were looking at him with confusion, and searching for something, anything, or nothing, Keith didn’t know, but he couldn’t care. 

He shouldn’t do this, Lance was straight, Lance had had a girlfriend, Lance had shown a lot of homophonic traits. Keith shook his head slightly as he tore his eyes away from Lances peaceful face with a sad smile. Keith wasn’t good enough for Lance anyway, Lance was perfect, Lance was just such an ass but... such a perfect ass (*wink wink*), such a nice and pure person on the inside that it was hard to not just... want him, all of him. But Lance was way too good for Keith, he deserved better than some depressed foster kid that couldn’t even socialize like a normal human being. 

“Do you think it’s weird?” Lance asked worriedly, looking at Keith with a truly worried face, his eyebrows tilted and his mouth pouting. Keith couldn’t do anything but chuckle slightly. It wasn’t weird, it was nice, and the fact that Lance was so innocent and genuinely worried about what Keith would think was making his body feel warm. 

“No, Lance” Keith chuckled with a smile, happy that this was happening, happy that Lance was happy with him. He might never be able to have Lance the way that he’d wanted him lately but at least, at least they could be friends. 

“I don’t think I’ve actually done this before ya know? Skinny dipped... with anyone” Lance uttered breathlessly, face flushed and eyes smiling, probably nervous as well since he just after saying that opened his mouth again: “I always thought I would skinny dip with like, I don’t know, a girlfriend or something. I guess you can just swim naked with anyone it’s not that weird I guess I just— I don’t really know—“ 

Keith could only smile, content with watching Lance mumble, trying to find the right words. 

“You know that it was _you_ that asked _me_ to take a swim with you right?” Keith asked whilst swimming towards Lance, going past him to then rest his back against the cliff that they had jumped off from, happy that Lance hadn’t moved when he had gotten closer. 

“Well ye-yeah, so what mullet?!” He squeaked out as an answer, averting his eyes. Keith knew he wasn’t really mad, just embarrassed. Just cute. 

Keith only smiled, a small almost invisible smile but still a smile and it was still there. It was important, he didn’t do this that often, being... happy, with someone, he didn’t do that. And here he was, unimaginably comfortable swimming, naked, with  _Lance_. 

It was quiet now, none of them were saying anything, but they were looking at each other, looking deep into each other’s eyes, not looking away. Keith let his head fall back against the stone, not looking away still, and parting his mouth slightly to breathe in through the mouth, taking a deep breath raising his chest. He didn’t want to say anything, it didn’t look like Lance wanted to either, it was peaceful, even if the slight splashing of water put off the silence it felt quiet, to Keith it felt like the two of them were the only people in the world. Then, he decided to do something that he probably wouldn’t have done if it wasn’t late and he was tired, something that he hadn’t thought he’d be brave enough to do.

Keith pushed away from the cliff calmly, floating closer to Lance, who was still floating still in the water a bit in front of him. As he slowly got closer he was sure Lance would back away or at least react a little, but he stayed in the same place, his mouth opening to breathe as well. It wasn’t much, not really, but it felt like it. The closer he got the more he could feel of Lance, his body heat radiating through the water, he could feel the water moving against them. And suddenly, without having actually planned it, their legs touched, ankles gliding against each other. Lance gasped, but didn’t move, just relaxed into it, his gaze still set still in Keiths eyes, so Keith kept moving closer slowly. Soon he could feel Lances warm thigh moving against his own, and he couldn’t help himself from letting his foot go behind Lances ankle and dragging him closer, just a little. 

They were so close now, Keith could feel Lances breath on him, could see his lips parting and his wide eyes looking right at him. 

“Lance” Keith whispered calmly, so close, putting his hand so slightly on the other boys back, wanting to push it down and place it lower, wanting to come a little closer, just close enough to actually _feel_ Lance. 

“Yeah?” Lance asked expectantly, looking so hopeful, so nervous... scared? No, Keith couldn’t do this, this was wrong. He was not going to do this to Lance. 

“We should go back, it’s late” it was late, Lance wasn’t thinking clearly, Lance was straight, what if Lance felt pressured into doing this... he couldn’t, Lance wasn’t interested. 

“Mm” Lance hummed like he wasn’t even there, like he was somewhere else, like he was lost in Keiths eyes the way that he was staring at him. So Keith broke eye contact, looked away, floated away, let go of Lance, let go of all that warmth that he desperately wanted to get back into. 

“Just—look away and I’ll put on some clothes” Keith said quietly, glancing up at Lance again who looked like he was still wondering what had happened. He swam to the cliffs part where it went into the water and crawled out of the water. He looked back at Lance who had followed him to the shore but turned around to look the other way instead of watching Keith. Then he walked to the clothes, pushing Lances clothes aside and putting on his underwear, grabbing the rest of them to not get them wet from his body by putting them on. He looked back at Lance, who still had his back against him, and whistled slightly. 

“I’m gonna... go back, I’ll give you your privacy” Keith uttered once Lance had turned around, looking at him awkwardly. Lance nodded quietly whilst itching the back of his neck. 

And so Keith left, not even bothering to jump around like usual, not in the mood to ba a parkourer, just... tiered, shivering from the cool wind on his wet skin. Once back at the cabin, sitting down on his bed and running his hands over his face. Yeah. 


	16. Teasing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday
> 
> And there is fan art for this chapter.   
> https://dysfunctionalmachine.tumblr.com/post/180530090868/flying-so-yeah-i-painted-this-and-then-i-was-like

The sun was shining in through the window. The dust that had risen into the air when they’d opened the door floating around in the shimmering light, showing how long it had been since anyone had being in the house. They were sitting in a small atelier, Keith in a chair in front of a newly wiped table, to fix that dusty surface, and Allura in a big, red armchair, one arm placed on the armrest and the other one swishing a brush in a light pink color. 

Keith hadn’t had anything special to do for the day, not having planned anything but spending all day worrying about what everyone thought about him, or more specifically what Lance thought about him, but then Allura had suggested at breakfast that they could open up the old atelier that she hadn’t actually been in, in years. Keith, who knew he had nothing better to do, said yes to the offer and so here they were. The small house a bit away from big cabin with a big window looking out from the cliff out on the water was small, it was practically just a room cramped with old paintings and outdated old things stuffed in different corners, that and a table, three chairs including the big luxury armchair and an easel that you could change to fit different sized canvases. The window had been opened as soon as they’d pushed open the door, the smell of years of no looking after and the dust seeking its way down their throats not really doing them any good. Although when the room had gotten aired out a bit Keith could only appreciate the coziness of it all, it felt open because of the lookout on the nature outside but you could still feel protected by all the stuff and the fact that the room kind of closed in on you. Allura had started as soon as she’d gotten inside, setting up all her things, propping a huge canvas on the easel, breathing in a deep breath to then seat herself and just... go for it. To be honest, Keith admired her for actually just starting without any other thought about it, if Keith had been set in front of a huge ass canvas with the thought of making something beautiful, he would have felt quite pressured by himself. So, of course, Keith hadn’t gone for anything extreme, just some simple paper and watercolor to make something of. Last but not least, they had put on some calm zen music and gotten right to it, ending all conversation to just work in their own worlds. 

Allura had come a lot further than himself, as soon as she’d seated herself comfortable she had just gone at it with layering paint, Keith himself was still staring at a fairly blank paper whilst Allura had already started making clouds on her sun-setting sky. He was just sitting there, dipping his brush in water, swishing it in a color palette to then only slightly spreading it on to the paper. He was trying to paint space, a galaxy, an illusion of black void sprinkled with stars. But his mind was elsewhere. 

He just couldn’t stop thinking about it, about that heat he had felt through the water, about that closeness, but most importantly, about _Lance_. He just couldn’t stop wondering about him, he hadn’t been able to since the night before, since it happened. 

Keith sighed an annoyed sigh, not loud enough for Allura to hear, and dragged three big stripes of wet black paint over the paper, making it full of bumps and wet foldings created by the water. He was irritated at himself for just leaving, for not saying anything, for denying himself that dream moment. He had had a chance to do something that he wanted, that Lance was showing he wanted as well. But he just... couldn’t. Lance had been talking about his ex _girlfriend_ , he had been mildly homophobic more than once, and he was just, straight. But he wasn’t, Keith so wanted to believe it and he just wanted Lance—

He wanted Lance to like him. Yeah, he did. As embarrassing as it was to admit he wanted Lance to like him, to _like_ him.

This was impossible, he was going to go crazy, what time was it? How long had they been sitting there for? Keith managed to paint a descent sky with galaxys, clouds and so on before snapping. The stars had just been sprinkled on with white color and now he just didn’t have enough mind space to be creative. 

“Why are you spinning on your chair like that and sighing like every minute? You’re making me nervous” Allura uttered calmly, making Keith snap his head in her direction to be met by the back of her head and her hand painting small birds. Had he really been that loud? 

Meh coughs quietly and shifts in his chair uncomfortable. 

“How does—uh—does Lance say anything or—what does Lance really think of me? Like do you know?” He gets out in a number of stuttering noices, not looking at Allura and instead focusing his eyes on the shelf with dried in pencils on. God. How could he be so stupid? _Yeah, I’m gonna say exactly what Lance thinks about you to this stranger that I’ve barely known for a month._ Right. 

And to make it all better, Allura wasn’t looking at him, even worse she wasn’t painting either, she had just completely frozen up and all Keith was waiting for was her turning her head and looking super angry like a demon. Like she really, really, _really_ didn’t want him even looking at Lance. 

Allura suddenly turned her head, put down her brush and turned towards Keiths worried face. 

“Here’s the thing Keith, you’re a good guy, I know that now, but I was quite skeptical when you talked back to Lance about Laurel—“ Keiths face fell, yeah, right, that happened. All he wanted to do was just to say it wasn’t his fault, that Lance had talked about her like she had been a piece of cake, that he was tiered, that he didn’t mean to. But he knew that it wasn’t going to help, this was his fault and his fault alone. “—but after you and Lance worked it out and he didn’t seem that sad anymore, he told me that you really had been standing up for me. I’ve forgiven Lance and you too” Allura ended with. So Keith was forgiven, he wasn’t scolded, he was safe from Allura, but he was still on guard, because honestly, her tone could be quite frightening. 

Although, Keith scrunched up his eyebrows and was ready to open his mouth, she hadn’t actually said what Lance thought about him, she had just hinted with hidden clues. But but before he could say anything, she noticed him and continued. 

“I’m sorry Keith, but Lance has told me not to say anything to you. It’s just how he wants it and I’m no teller. I can give a little but if you really want to know, I suggest you go to Lance and ask him yourself” Allura says, giving Keith a pitiful look before going back to putting small birds over her painted sky. 

Okay, so Lance didn’t hate him... probably, but he doesn’t want Keith to know. Know what? Did he really dislike him behind all of this? _Why_? 

His brain was boiling, on the outside he was just staring at the back of Allura a head with squinting eyes and scrunched up eyebrows, but on the inside, he didn’t get it. What was he supposed to do with this information, this was nothing. He needed to know more. 

Keith shook his head slightly, bit his lip nervously and turned back to his paper, starting over on the whole ‘dip my brush in color but never paint’ thing whilst pushing back all thoughts of Lance. He shouldn’t be asking from the start, and Lance doesn’t want him to know. It’s fine. Let’s just think about this painting, doing something. 

This time he actually managed to do something, putting down all he red, purple and blue colors into the black mess. Soon enough he was getting stars down on the paper by just throwing his brush, with white color on, around, and to be honest, it didn’t look terrible. 

“How far have you come?” Allura asked out of nowhere, suddenly right by Keiths side, scaring him slightly. He looked down at the paper, blew out some air out of his pouting mouth and gestured with both hands to it whilst trying to find words.

”This far” Keith answered simply, frowning just a second after at his dumb answer. He sounded annoyed, he wasn’t annoyed, at least not at Allura. 

“Are you gonna add something more or are you going to leave it like this? Personally I think it needs something more, to kind of... give it a bit more of an eye catcher” Allura said like she hadn’t noticed anything weird in Keiths tone, her eyes focused completely on the paper, and when Keith turned slightly to look at her, he could see her gaze wandering from place to place. 

“Yeah, I was actually thinking the same thing, I just... don’t know what” Keith muttered with one of the smaller brushes in his hand, twirling it between his fingers. He didn’t know, really. He had been thinking about making the lion he always makes buy it just—he didn’t feel like it. He still just, felt... Lance. He could only think about Lance; his face in the moonlight, his thin waist, his smooth skin, his pink lips, his hair. Keith could only imagine how soft it would be to run his hands through it, how soft it would be after drying from wetness in the sun. When he’s just been swimming, swimming, in the blue it dark water. Swimming. 

“I think I’ll figure it out” Keith said to Allura before she could answer, didn’t want her to give an example, he was going to do it himself.

Lance liked the ocean, he was a water person, swimming through life like it was nobody’s business. So what if... Keith made something sea related... in space? Yeah, that would work, that would impress Lance. Why not just make, swimming (picture Keith focusing really hard on figuring out some cool sea animal)... stingrays. That could work right. Because he was not going to make dolphins, that was just too cheesy, and making a turtle would be fucking difficult as well. Stingrays, easy, and Lance would like it, definitely. 

“Yeah, I got it” Keith muttered again, picking up the smaller brush for details again and dipping it in water. He could hear Allura humm quietly as an answer before going back to her armchair, leaving Keith alone in his own thoughts once again. 

***

Keith ended up finishing the painting, looking at it for a while, thinking of Lance and coming to the conclusion that it turned out nice, it looked good. Yeah. After that he had went outside, out of the small atelier to move around a bit, his muscles being quite stale from just sitting still. Allura had stayed to keep painting, now on some type of dragon/weird creature, (Keith had no idea) and he went down to the water. He hadn’t brung any swimming trunks but he figured he could just swim in his underwear and then lay in the sun to dry, although, first off, he was going to raise his pulse a bit. First he had taken off his shirt, shoes and socks to be left with just shorts on, sun roasting his skin, but at least he had had sunscreen with him to cover his bare body with. The sun in this place really forcing him to bring it everywhere he went. He had started off by doing push-ups in the sand, moving on to both sit-ups and sprinting back and forth on the sand that, with every step, sunk his feet down into it. After that, he had stretched out his arms before taking of his shorts and jumping into the cooling water.

It had felt nice and soft against him as he flowed through it, just as it had done the night before. Tranquil. Soothing. 

He had swam some laps with the zen music quietly playing in the background, he had floated on his back watching the clouds go by for a while too before getting out of the water and laying down on the sand, letting it stick to his body whilst he was drying. After a while, when he had been dry for quite some time, Allura called on him from the atelier that she was going to head back and that Keith could come with if he wanted to. He said yes to the offer, which even him himself got surprised by, and quickly got dressed and came with her, but not before grabbing his stuff, including the painting, from the house. 

The walk back had been nice as well, slightly awkward but okay. When they got back the rest of the guys were in the middle of lunch, and both Allura and Keith joined without question. After lunch Keith hadn’t actually gone back to the cabin to be lonely and overthinking, instead, he had stayed in the big caving to do some kind of roleplay board game with Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Lance, and Coran as the games leader. Keith himself had chosen to be an ancient tree man, his character getting mad at the others for burnin down the forest whilst they were fighting a big fire spitting dragon. Keith had had a fun time, blushing at the fact that Lance had been cute and chosen  to be some type of human-fox/dog creature. Blushing extra hard at the thought of Lance with a tail and cute pointy ears. 

They had been playing ‘till the evening, when Allura had stepped in and stopped them from playing all night and demanding that they all should make dinner. They had just eaten dinner (delicious of course cuz Hunk is Hunk) and was now moving on to dessert since Pidge had apparently had a terrible craving for chocolate. Ironically though, Pidge wasn’t even helping when it came to dessert, instead Keith and Lance got put in charge, by a very relentless Hunk, to make the chocolate pudding with cream and raspberries. That’s how he had ended up here, pushing at Lance teasingly whilst trying to whip some cream. It was still awkward every time they looked each other in the eyes, but otherwise they were able to ignore the fact that the night before had happened. 

“Dude you’re taking a fucking eternity aren’t you done soon?” Lance complained sassily, pushing Keith a little before sticking his finger down into the half done cream and then licking it of with a sadistic smirk. Keiths eyes thinned. 

“Yeah I would be done if you didn’t fucking push me all the time” Keith exclaimed, upset but also sarcastically, as he looked at Lance with wide eyes. Although he couldn’t keep up the annoyed face for long, his mouth smiling against his will as he could see Lance had cream on the tip of his nose. 

Before thinking over what he was doing, Keith leaned forward and wiped away the fluffy cream with his thumb, and if you thought that was stupid, Keith went and did something worse. Without any hesitation, he brought his thumb to his mouth and licked of the cream. Sweet, soft on his tongue. 

He wasn’t looking at Lance when he realized what he had done, which he was happy for since he did not want to share eye contact with the boy after that. He cleared his throat, wiped his thumb at his pants and went back to whipping the cream. 

“Just get it done dude” Lance muttered awkwardly, and now, Keith turned to look at him. His face was pink but even if the whole situation had gotten about a hundred percent staler, Lance still got a little closer to Keith, taking a small step sideways towards, their arms almost touching. Keith looked away, focusing on what he was supposed to do; melt chocolate, right. 

Suddenly, Hunk was behind them, looking over them and what they were doing, inspecting their work critically. 

“Lance, you are supposed to fix the small chocolate pieces you lazy bastard, stop annoying Keith and do your shit” Hunk exclaimed angrily as he noticed Lance hadn’t done anything, making both him and Keiths postures getting slightly stiff at the ‘stop annoying Keith’ part. 

“Okay okay whatever _mom_ ” Lance  muttered, saying that last part especially quiet, although that didn’t stop Hunk from hearing him and slapping his shoulder with a towel. 

“Ouch!—“ Lance exclaimed over dramatically “—come on man! How important can this dessert be?” Lance then shouted with furrowed eyebrows at Hunk. 

“Lance! This is not just dessert this is life or death! Do your part and don’t leave Keith all the work!” Pidge shouted from the living room, obviously she had heard Lances question and not been able to stop herself from stepping in. Keith chuckled slightly to himself as he checked on the chocolate to make sure it wasn’t getting burnt. 

“Yeah whatever Pidge” Lance shouted back into nothingness, he didn’t get an answer back so he just shrugged carelessly. Although, instead of actually doing what he was supposed to be doing, he discreetly grabbed his own towel to then whip around on the spot and attack Hunk with whips. 

“Oh it’s on you bastard” Hunk laughed with a smile before going back at Lance with just hands, grabbing him and trapping the smaller boy under his armpit and rubbing his head with his fist. Keith could only see a little bit of the play-fight from the corner of his eye, but he could definitely hear Lances dramatic yell of defeat, making him try to stop the laugh from escaping his mouth but failing as Lance started making such weird noices Keith was wondering if Lance was even human. 

“I gIVe uP, huuNKK, I gIVe up you dickward LEt GO” Lance strangled out, trying to tear of Hunks arms by grabbing them, continuously failing as Hunk kept smiling evilly.

Eventually, or actually quite quickly, Hunk let go, apologizing quietly before pushing Lance back into place in front of the counter, telling him to do his work. Lance complied, of course, and he did start, and he did work, but when Hunk was gone he went back to discretely poking at Keiths side from time to time. And Keith was slightly annoyed, but not nearly enough to make him snap, it was cute, and lovingly, he knew that because Lance was Lance. He smiled, pretending to not caring before going at Lance with a surprise attack to his stomach, tickling him until their eyes met and it got awkward again. If Lance had acted like this the first day that they were here, Keith would’ve been fighting his inner anger for all of his life, or even yelling at Lance for his teasing. But now, he could only love it, he knew it was loving teasing. The only other person that he could be comfortable with them teasing him was Shiro, but now suddenly, Lance was annoying him to the extreme, and he could only smile. 

They continued to do their work, but when they were almost done, the only step left to pour the pudding into glasses, a faint vibration and ringtone goes off in Lances pocket. He picked it up, the smile from his face fading, looking at it for a little while before making his decision about what to do. 

“Be right back I’ll just take this” Lance uttered seriously, all cheekiness gone from his voice. Keith wanted to know why, he was so curious who was calling Lance and why Lances mood had switched so fast, but he wasn’t pushy, he knew himself how annoying it was when people asked why you were down.

Keith nodded silently, looking Lance in the eyes for about a second before turning back to fixing the last stuff so that it could actually get done. Since Pidge had been whining from the living room about how long they were taking, he only wanted it good and done. Lance turned and walked out of the kitchen, through the living room and hallway out of the front door, the door slamming shut  leaving Keith quiet. 

Soon enough he got it done, all of the glasses were in the fridge, Lance still hadn’t come back so he just decided to fix the small chocolate pieces that were supposed to be on top himself. He wasn’t smiling, he was just doing what he was supposed to, it didn’t bother him, this was how it alway was. When Lance came back into the kitchen, he looked distressed, distressed and confused. Keith didn’t really know. He wanted to make it better, he wanted to poke Lance in the side and make it all better, make him smile. But he didn’t. Which wasn’t weird, you shouldn’t try teasing someone so obviously down, it wasn’t cool, he knew that. So he left it. 

They ate dessert, Lance was laughing just as normal, being normal, acting normal, normal Lance. But not at all. 

It was like they had gone back to one of the first days, like when Lance had gone up to the second floor to then get down like it was all fine, he was acting like all the time he was ignoring Keith after he had said that insulting comment about Laurel. Lance wasn’t looking at him with that cute glance, he was barely looking at him at all and when he did it was just a dead stare, no blushing, no smiling, just that dead smirk. It felt like they didn’t even know each other, Keith couldn’t put his finger on it. When they went to bed that night Lance didn’t say anything remotely explaining, he just laughed forcefully and laid down. Keith had wanted to say something, had really wanted to break the silence and just _ask_. But he couldn’t, he knew that. 


	17. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday

It had gone three days since Lance had taken that god damn call. Three days of Lance acting like the clas clown, three days of him not talking to Keith about what happened in the water, three days of Lance not blushing, three days of Lance looking at him like he was nothing, like he was just a part of the never ending laughing crowd. Three day of Lance being the same as before they got to know each other, before Keith understood him, before the cute moments. 

But then Lance had taken that god damn call.  

Keith didn’t even know who it was, Lance hadn’t told any of them (or maybe but then Keith didn’t know about it). He didn’t know who had made Lance so distant for three days with _just_ a call. It didn’t make sense. Keith had first thought that it might’ve been Lances girlfriend that he had kept hidden from all of them, but that didn’t seem logic since Lance seemed to be one of those people that would totally brag about their love-life (or at least mention it when they’re shitfaced and can’t even remember it the last day because they were so drunk). And beside it being Lances partner, Keith didn’t really know, maybe it was a weird friend or, in a really bad case, the police, calling to tell him someone close to him had passed away... but still, Lance didn’t seem to have that much self control to just lie through it all with a fake smile on his face constantly. 

Keith was just so utterly confused, it didn’t make sense. It didn’t make sense as he was laying down on his bed, Ryby next to him, curled into his side and purring, his hand scratching behind her ear. It didn’t make sense, he thought to himself, frown over his face, headphones in his ears, playing some calm lo-fi, the cats ear twitching under his hand. It didn’t make sense, he thought with the calm, deep beat to the song playing in his ears, staring at the ceiling and occasionally shifting to see the dust in the sunlight float around the room. 

He hadn’t showered yet today, not in the mood to walk there and to see Lance shirtless and dripping wet all again. It wasn’t good for his mental health Keith had concluded. 

Keith lifted up his phone, checking the time: 2 pm. God. He should be hanging out with Shiro, or the others, maybe a quick talk with Pidge could cheer him up. The thought of the others distracted him a bit from the drowning thought of Lance and he sat up on the bed, ruby jumping slightly to then stare at him irritatedly. It was actually quite funny, he felt more home with these guys than he had with any other ‘friends’ throughout his life. Only Shiro to know feel so comfortable with his—no, both of their friends... maybe, hopefully. They considered him friends right? Right? Who cares, not Keith, he was fine. Alone. 

He fell back on the bed, eyes once again connected with the ceiling. He didn’t need friends, if they wanted to talk with after this trip he wasn’t going to say no but he didn’t need it. He didn’t. He was fine by himself, he was fine with his weird ass roommate, he was fine, alone, in a cramped dorm. It was all fine. 

Keith bit his lip anxiously, but his eyes were empty of emotions still. It was two pm, he couldn’t just lay around doing nothing, he could go to Shiro and talk about something but then his brother would start asking questions and be overprotective and he just... his brother was awesome but sometimes his nature did more harm than good to Keith. 

He apologized to Ruby with his eyes before stepping out of bed and putting on his shoes. Maybe he could—maybe he could talk to Allura, Allura was cool, and nice... and she knew Lance, she had to know what was going on. 

Keith started walking, the headphones still in his ears, still playing calm music to soothe his inner anxiety. Those were the days with chief. Yeah. Walking to the beat of his own drum was what he always did, felt nice to have a beat in his ears telling him where to go for once. 

He arrived at the big cabin after about a minute or two, and at seeing Coran, Pidge, Hunk and Lance at the porch playing cards he took out his headphones. Lance made eye contact with him. Dead eyes, before looking away and back at Coran with a toothy grin. 

“Hello Keith, how’s your day going so far?” Coran yelled from the table they were all sitting around, or, Pidge laying sideways over two charges but same same. 

“‘S good” Keith answered simply, walking up to the porch, all of their eyes on him making him feel quite watched. Except Lance was ignoring his try for eye contact, instead just looking at his cards to feign interest in them. Huh. 

“Dude, aren’t you dying in the black clothes?” Pidge asked tieredly, pointedly looking at his dark grey shorts and his black t-shirt. She was right, he knew that with the shirt fabric sticking to his skin, but he hadn’t brought anything but darker clothes so finding something lighter would be a hard task. 

“Yeah, it’s like extra hot today” Hunk mumbled, voice full of concern. 

“It’s cool—(no it wasn’t it was hot)—I’m fine” Keith uttered silently, not in the mood to be loud, not in the mood to entertain, just not in the mood. 

He was thinking of asking them were Allura was but didn’t, figured that it would sound weird or forced or who the hell knew. He didn’t want them to wonder what he was doing. He was fine, he didn’t need friends.  

“Well good luck with your game I’m gonna..go” Keith said simply, looking at all of them before walking into the house, everyone meeting his eyes except for Lance. Ugh. Keith squeezed his lips together when the door closed behind him, annoyed with Lance and annoyed with himself that he was getting annoyed.

Where could Allura possibly be? 

He walked into the living room, it was empty and quiet, you could see Pisces laptop laying on the couch, and at the big table standing away from the couches they were residues of them all eating breakfast together. Allura wasn’t here, that was obvious, but at least he could enjoy actually looking around. 

He took a step forward onto the brown (ancient) rug, staring over the different pictures and shelves on the walls. He had seen the pictures before, when he’d been sitting there without talking to everyone else, when he had just wanted to stay quiet. He had noted all of them, the horse in a dark forest, the man with the magnificent beard, the creepy cat laying on a leaf floating in a pond full of monsters, completely careless. He had seen all of them, although, now when he could get in close and look at the details without worrying about anyone wondering what he was doing, he could see the tiny, tiny signature of Allura. All three of them had their name on them, but on the big painting of a child sitting on a rock, he couldn’t find Alluras name. Instead, there was a sentence: “my sweet Allura, take the sea in your hand and rule the forest as well, you’ll do great things my love” and a, just as tiny as alluras signature, name, Alford. Her dad. 

Keith looked at the girl sitting on the rock, she couldn’t be more than twelve, her smile shimmering and her hair long and brown. Who would’ve known Allura hadn’t always had white hair, it looked almost weird to Keith. He sighed, thought about the painting a bit, how Allura would feel seeing it all the time, the way that it was a huge eyecatcher hung up in an open space where you could always glance at it. Keith knew he wouldn’t have been able to live with seeing himself from his past all the time, he would’ve gone mad. 

Well, Allura wasn’t here, Keith concluded and stared out the window for a quiet moment, looking out at the shining water and bathing in the sunlight coming in through the glass. Maybe she was upstairs. 

Keith stepped away from the window, turned to the stairs and started walking upwards. The staircase’s wall had paintings as well, but they seemed like kids drawings and not something an adult could do. They were cute and horrible, but still framed and neatly put up on the old fashioned wallpaper. 

Upstairs it was just as quiet, nothing was happening, there was no sound, just the calming sounds of nature coming in from the open window. In front of him there was a thin corridor with several doors going off into their own rooms, he didn’t actually know the layout of their rooms but he didn’t really care, he would’ve known where Shiro had been sleeping if he hadn’t found Lance instead. Lance. He looked to his side, at the door to the room where he’d found Lance crying on the floor. He remembered that night, that nightmare, that photo, could he see it again? That picture of Lance and his brother, or that weird doll, maybe he could get to know more about Lance that way. No. Keith shook his head. No, he was not going to be that creepy. 

He turned towards the stairs again, deciding that he might as well could go look for Allura in some other places, but right before he started walking, he could hear a slight cough and then a... piano. Keith walked over to the door and leaned in close, yeah, that was right, someone was playing a piano, he could clearly hear it. Without hesitation he pressed down the door handle and leaned against it to lazily push it open, when the door slid open he was met with the sight of Allura, her white hair falling airily over her shoulders and some of it getting in her eyes since she had just been leaning over the piano keys. Their eyes met, and he was almost about to walk out and close the door, since it wasn’t exactly looking like Allura wanted company... but, he furrowed his eyebrows anxiously, he had been looking for her, he had wanted to talk to her. He could just do it quickly, hopefully. 

“Hey, sorry I can go if you want to it’s just that-“ Keith cut himself off, looking at Allura like he was waiting for an instant answer before telling her a question that she had to answer. Just give her a second to throw him out if she really wanted to. 

“No! No it’s all good, I was just going to play—“ she had a small break, looking at Keith like she was thinking of what to say before finding it out and continuing “—but you can listen if you want to” she said, nice smile painting her face. Keiths eyes got thinner, was this what he thought it was? 

“Are you saying that ‘cause of my brother? Because if you don’t want me here—“ 

“no! I mean... yeah, but I don’t have a problem with it” Allura answered pitifully, making Keith blush embarrassingly. God, of course, why would he want him there. 

“No but seriously Keith, you’re brother obviously wants the best for you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t on my own either” Allura shot his way friendly, looking at him with kind eyes. Her soft voice sounded nice to his ears, and even if she was lying he really didn’t feel like going now. He didn’t want to be alone now. A taste of the fruit making him not being able to live without it—but he would be fine! Without them that was... he’d be fine. 

“Thanks” Keith muttered silently, walking over to her, slowly and on guard for some reason. He didn’t want to seem desperate, _please_ , don’t look like you’re desperate. He took a seat in one of the armchairs on the opposite side of the piano, so he could see Allura but he couldn’t see her playing. 

“You got any suggestions?” Allura uttered playfully, looking at Keiths uncomfortable face like she was saying ‘I’m doing everything I can to make you feel at home with me’, but Keith couldn’t know if she truly meant it. 

“Do you know—uhm—the intro song to howls moving castle?” Keith asked tentatively, looking at Allura like it was the stupidest question ever. He was about to open his mouth and explain that Shiro had said something about Allura sharing his love for studio ghibli, that he would’ve picked the intro to princess Mononoke but that it wasn’t played on piano, that it was a stupid question, like she would actually learn to play that of all you could learn? Ugh, no. 

“Oh my god are you serious! I thought you were going to say something I had no absolut clue what it was but howls moving castle, of course!” she broke off Keiths train of thought by exclaiming excitedly, the smile and shine in her eyes seeming genuine, and to be honest it baffled Keith. “I can’t belive you took that because I do know that, and oh god Sophie is just such good character I looove her” Allura kept on going, looking down at the keys to probably remember it all and put the song in order in her head. 

“Yeah, I really like all the ghibli movies” Keith said quietly, almost muttering it too himself with a small smile. 

She pressed down on the keys, and the beautiful melody started on an instant. God. All he could think about was the beautiful movie and he couldn’t help but close his eyes. She really could play it well, no weird pauses were heard, it all melted into each other. 

Keith was a little extra nervous in front of Allura for some reason, he was nervous in front of the others too but Hunk, Pidge and Coran he could talk to now, alone, without problem. With Allura it was different. When they were all together he could hide in the crowd, if it got hard he could just be quiet and zone off, he could also join in and say something if he wanted to without it being a silencebraker. Then when he was alone with people it had been hard with everyone from the start, but it got easier, now it felt natural. But not with Allura. He didn’t know what it was but he just felt slightly intimidated by her, and he was thinking it was because he could relate to her, he tended to be scared of things being alike himself. She was just, she could be scary with her emotions, and it scared him quite a lot. She was also close to Lance and had always been, she was (almost, ish) his brothers girlfriend and it just felt like... he was intruding on her territory, like he was attacking the mother hen by just being there. He knew that wasn’t the case... but he couldn’t _really_ know. 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows, his brain overworking itself as he felt his eyes tear up, the nostalgic song in the background not making it any better. He shut his eyes closed harder to keep the tears from falling, clenching his jaw and telling himself to not let go, he had to stay put in his place. stay inside you idiot. 

It stopped, the song faded out into into the silence and it got quiet. He didn’t open his eyes, he wouldn’t, he _couldn’t_. 

“Lance got a call, and he isn’t talking to me. I don’t get it, he was talking to me, I—I don’t want it to be wrong between us a-and I don’t know what to do to fix it” Keith uttered frustratedly, feeling one tear threatening to fall. He opened his eyes, looked right into Alluras worried ones before looking down at his knees, feeling one drop leave his eyes and create a wet spot at the end of his orange shirt. He wasn’t going to look up at her, he shouldn’t say more, why was he feeling so small? He hated this, why did he say anything? 

Keith looked at the scars on his left arm and bit his lip, he shouldn’t burden Allura with this, he should leave. 

”And I want to fix it, I like him, he’s so nice and funny and witty and carefree and loving and I—I don’t know what he’s thinking but I don’t want to pressure him. I—I don’t know” Keith sobbed, louder than before, his voice cracking and his right hand going to grab at his left arm by instinct. He was a mess, he should’ve stayed quiet, he should’ve—

“Keith” Allura said quietly, pitifully, standing from her seated position and walking over to him. What was she doing, no, why didn’t she just stay behind the piano?!

Keith whined painfully and tried hiding himself as much as possible from her, she was sitting in front of him, looking up at him. She could see him. No. No he didn’t want to. He could feel his breath starting to get caught in his throat, no, he was not going to panic, not now, no no no no no no—

“Lance really likes you Keith, I know that because he told me okay? I know he really likes you, and really cares about you—“ she took ahold of his tense shoulders, sat up slightly and brought his head to rest on her shoulder. He didn’t want to, the tears were running down now, he didn’t want to, he wanted to fight it, he wanted to push her away, but after a few seconds he relaxed into it and sobbed into her shoulder. “—and it’s okay to cry okay? It’s okay, and you don’t have to hide it, not from me, not from your brother, and not from Lance. Okay?” She continued by saying, and Keith could feel her arms wrapped around him, giving him warmth, calming him down as much as it was ruining him. He shouldn’t, but he couldn’t stop it, he couldn’t stop feeling because she was just so nice. He had only felt this way with his brother and his mother. He remembered when he got adopted, he had hugged her so hard, he had smiled so big it had hurt his mouth. He had felt so safe, he felt so safe... but everything from his life was still haunting him. From time to time he still believed they would leave him. He didn’t want Lance to leave. 

“You need to talk to him Keith, you need to tell him how you feel, what you’re thinking. You have to ask him why he’s acting the way he is, and he needs to tell you because otherwise I am going to” she said confidently, pushing Keith back a bit to look into his red eyes, looking at him like it was obvious, like she thought Keith could do this without—well—dying. 

Keith looked back at her, his tears finally deciding to subside. Her eyes were glassy, but her mouth was smiling slightly, was he really going to believe her?

”k’” Keith muttered quietly, looking down in his lap again before looking up again, making his way to stand up and bringing Allura with him. 

“Go do it now, otherwise you might change your mind and we can’t have that” Allura said with a smile, making Keith chuckle at the ironic truth. Stupid. But he wasn’t going to start crying again, he came to Allura to ask about Lance, about what he should do, and he _had_ to do this. He had to stop beating around the bush and he had to actually ask Lance and he had to know. He needed to know the whole truth to why Lance was being the way he was. He might never be able to have Lance the way he really wants to, but he can at least have a good friend that he’ll miss if he’s gone. 

“Yeah” Keith says, his voice raspy but more put together. “Thanks for the piano play, it was really beautiful” Keith continues with, before walking towards the door, but not before receiving a small ‘my pleasure’ from Allura. 

The door shut behind him, he stood there for a while before he heard another piano melody start to play. Gosh, had he really cried in front of Allura, had he really cried... at all. Keith blushed, embarrassed, before swiftly walking down the stairs and making it to the bathroom, once the door was locked he could finally see what mess he had made. 

To be honest, he didn’t look too bad. Yes his eyes were still puffy and his nose still running but a little water splashed in his face to brighten things up would probably do the trick, hopefully. He turned the tap and listened as the water came splashing down, and god, was he really going to reveal everything to Lance? Was Lance even going to tell him anything? The thought of Lance being completely quiet made him uncomfortable and he splashed his face with cold water, the front of his hair and his chin dripping as he got up to look himself in the mirror again. No, Lance wouldn’t do that.

Without further ado, Keith dried of his face with a towel, went out of the bathroom and onto opening the front door, to see Lance sitting there playing his game, to ask him to come for a while because he had to say something, to do it. But he opened the door and Lance wasn’t there, Coran, Hunk and Pidge were still playing, but Lance and his bright blue eyes were nowhere to be seen. 

“You wanna join?” Pidge asked, confused as to why Keith was staring at them intensely, in silence, to try and process the fact that Lance wasn’t actually there. 

“Uhh—no, I was just—where did lance go?” Keith snapped out of it, looked at Pidge and asked. Pidges eyebrows shot to her forehead and Coran bumped in to answer. 

“He said he was going to go back to change clothes if I’m quite sure of” Coran stated before laying out a queen of spades. 

“Dammit” Hunk muttered under his breath at Corans move, who chuckled evilly at Hunks reaction. And Pidge was still just staring out into the distance like she was lagging; it really was too hot for any of them to function normally. 

“Okay” Keith said simply, looking at them all before turning and walking away, down the stairs to the porch and off to the cabin. He had to find Lance, to ask—to tell him. To... yeah. 

The walk to the cabin was fast paced, his body filled with adrenaline and his face not changing the expression of a scared animal. He couldn’t even jump around as usual, his body making him trip over stones and roots. Keith snorted to himself as he could see the house between the trees, trying to make it seem like a less of a situation than it was to himself, but still he knew: this sucked. 

He walked up the stairs in one step, took a shaky breath before swinging the door open, and... and once again he was disappointed to find the space empty, no changing clothes, no facial masks, no Lance, just Ruby sleeping on the bed from heat exhaustion. Keith furrowed his eyebrows, gritting his teeth; where the hell was Lance? He definitely wasn’t going to change clothes, where could he be? 

Suddenly, it hit Keith, he was there, he had to be. He couldn’t be anywhere else, it made sense. 

Without thinking more of if, Keith backed out of the house and pushed the door shut before jumping over the stairs, down onto the dry ground, and starting to walk in the same fast pace once more. Lance had to be sitting on the cliff, on _their_ cliff. Where else could he have gone if he said he was going to go change in the cabin. Keith walked, stumbled over stuff, no time to enjoy the scenery, sweating through his clothes and itching his burnt neck. And suddenly, he was standing just a bit away, and he could see the back of Lances body, Lance himself staring out at the calm water. Keith was instantly hit with deja vu from when he had creeped up on Lance singing, but knew as deep as in his bones that this situation was not all fun and games. 

“Lance” he said out of nowhere, calmly, certain, making Lance visibly jump but not turning around. 

“What is it Keith?” Lance asked, and, wow—he sounded annoyed, and bored, and angry, and just, so, so uninterested it baffled Keith where he was standing. No, keep it together: you’ve yelled thousands of times on other people that you’ve _fucked_ and you literally can’t even do _this_. Keith coughed quietly and walked slightly closer to Lance, slowly, he didn’t want to make this too quick, he wanted to explain, he had to ask. 

“I want to talk about what happened the other day, right here, when we were swimming” he said as calmly as he could (pretty monotone since it’s Keith we’re talking about) and stopped walking, just a few meters away from Lance. His back might have been straight and his eyes shallow but deep down he was dying whilst waiting for Lances reaction. 

“What about it?” Lance sighed irritatedly, not looking back at Keith, who clenched his teeth anxiously. Why wasn’t he turning around? Why was he still just watching the water? Why wasn’t he facing Keith? 

Keith cleared his throat and went straight in. “Something happened, you know that, I know that, and something has been happening with us for all of this trip. I don’t expect you to feel the same but I—“ Keith stopped, Lance had stood up angrily, still not facing him but his fists were clenched and his body rigid. Keith was going to say he liked him, and he could feel that Lance had sensed it, and that that was why Lance had made the decision to stop him mid-sentence with an unexpected move to stand. He couldn’t beat around the bush, not when Lance wasn't even listening to him. He knew it was mean but Lance had to face the problem just like Keith had to. 

“Lance, who called you? Why are you ignoring me? I don’t get it you have to say something” Keith exclamed, raising his voice. 

“Stop!” Lance gelled violently, you could hear the stress in his voice, but Keith wasn’t going to stop now. 

“I can’t deal with you when you do this! Why are you not talking to me when we are obviously getting along, I cradled you in my arms for Christ’s sake!” Keith yelled back, his posture had already started to break up, his eyes were angry and worried and he was taking steps closer to Lance without even meaning to. He didn’t mean to, but his body was firing up, his mind was raising, although he didn’t want to beat Lance like he usually wanted to do with people that got him angry. He just wanted to take care of him, to hold him. He just wanted Lance to tell him. 

“What happened that Christmas Lance?!” Keith asked hopelessly, close enough to Lance to touch him. But before he could Lance turned around violently, making Keith jump and back away slightly, but still pumped with adrenaline. 

“You really wanna know huh?!” Lance yelled, his eyes were glassy and you could easily notice he was trying his hardest to make himself look as big as possible. It was quite scary. But Keith didn’t care, he didn’t like it since he could so easily see that Lance was just a terrified creature hiding behind a tough attitude. He nodded, and Lance laughed hopelessly.

“Of course you do, you nosy bitch. What else could expect from you” Lance exclaimed with a voice full of spite. Don’t fall for it Keith, you know he’s just sad. 

“Well if you really want to know then why don’t I just fucking tell you huh?! You wanna know what happened? Well guess what, I made out with a guy, we were just fucking eating our faces off in my room and my fucking dad walks in, and mom after him. And I just se-e their faces and their ey-eyes and my dad yells at me and the guy and he was so disappointed. Don’t you get why I can’t fucking do anything with you?!” Lance was crying at this point, and his voice was shaking and Keith was just quiet, slumped where he was standing. “I’m a sinner, I’m a monster, I’m an asshole for doing that to my family. Do you think they wished for a fucking fag for a son?! Do you really think it was going to work out?! Because I-I did, and I’m an idiot!” Lance yelled as an ending, his shoulders hunching and his body trembling. He was sobbing, not getting anything more out than incoherent noices and single words. Keith was completely baffled, he didn’t know if he should be excited that Lance wasn’t straight or if he should actually do something, he didn’t know why he hadn’t realized it, he didn’t get it. But he had to do something. 

Keith tried getting closer, he walked up to the trembling creature in front of him, but Lance weekly pushed him away whilst rrying to hide his face.

”Leave me alone” Lance pleaded, trying to walk past Keith and away from the scene, but Keith stepped in the way to just try one more time. 

“Lance-“ 

“No Keith, don’t you get it? We can’t be together, I can’t do that to them” lance said as a final goodbye before walking past a shocked Keith. 

What had he done, Lance wasn’t going to talk to him ever again, he wasn’t going to be with him, they weren’t even going to be friends. Was it done? Now? He didn’t want to, it couldn’t be. 

*** 

Lance slept in Pidges room that night, not going near the cabin to even go get his stuff. Keith had skipped out on dinner, he wasn’t hungry anyway. He just laid in his bed, single tears deciding to come out from time to time, Ruby purring beside him and lofi in his ears. Just like the day had started, the day ended. Except he didn’t get that much sleep, none probably, he wasn’t really sure, it was all just a blur. He had promised himself that he wasn’t going to care, that he wasn’t going to give a shit if they all decided to leave him, but he still couldn’t help but miss Lance already. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked that (and understood it because seriously it's hard to write English when you're Swedish.) And love all the comments you leave on my chapters, they really motivate me so, truly, thank you.


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